Nuck Chorris
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If you were expecting an article about Chuck Norris, then you were probably typing too fast. For other ways to make Chuck Norris angry, see Chuck Norris (disambiguation).
Born on the 15th of March, 1940, just seconds after twin brother Chuck Norris(the man), Nuck Chorris butt head was no ordinary child. While his brother was born with the dominant roundhouse kicking genes, Chorris was born with the recessive wrestling/butt-boxing genesdue to this deema he formed a club with two american men ethan and nick they named their club the butt head club . The two fought multiple times in their childhood, Norris winning all but one battle. Then, one day at age five, the two children were captured by the government and split up in 1945. Norris was sent to defeat Adolf Hitler, and Chorris was sent to defeat the furbies. Norris successfully roundhouse kicked Hitler to death, making his famous move "The roundhouse kick." However, the US government forgot about Chorris, and dropped the atomic bomb on furbie island, located left of Toys R' Us while he was still there. He suffered mutations to his face, turning his eyes red and killing all of his hair genes except the ones around his beard, leaving only a Hitler-style mustache. It took 20 years for Chorris to recover from the radioactive blast, and in the time he was gone his brother, Chuck, became world famous for roundhouse kicks and karate. Chorris determined that his mustache was not just a mutation, but a sign and joined the anti-semetic Nazi party against Norris, for he defeated their great leader, the japaneese superindustry. Chorris refuses to wear cowboy hats, and in direct defiance to his brother, cuts off all but the front part of the bill, leaving sort of a cavalry captain style helmet. Nuck Chorris is also believed to have asplode in the genuflectory vicinity of the George Bush province of number 10 Downing Street, N. Korea.
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[edit] The Deadly Kick
the deadly kick was used by chorris against the king furbie. after the bomb was dropped, the deadly kicked has mutated into a kick that can teleport through time and kill anyone. except his borther of course.
[edit] The Showdown
Some pundits theorize that a bipartisan coalition of superheroes (from both the Ninja and the Pirate factions) could combine forces to form a Nuck Chorris and vanquish Chuck Norris (who starred in "Walker, Texas Ranger," "Delta Force 2," and "The Book of Genesis"), as depicted in the "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" flash cartoon. However, serious scholars dismiss this as mere speculation, since it is an established scientific fact that any object or organism powerful enough to defeat Chuck Norris would be so massive that it would collapse on itself and form a black hole that would quickly devour the entire universe. Hence Dr. Shakespeare tracked down Nuck Chorris and sent him to battle his brother.
If you have five dollars and Nuck Chorris has five dollars.Nuck Chorris have more money.
[edit] Nuck Chorris Facts
Chuck Norris has one fatal flaw... Mark Wahlburg. Supreme ruler of the known universe!
Based on the more famous 'Chuck Norris Facts' phenomenon, Nuck mastermined his own 'Facts'. This is a growing internet fad that Nuck is backing with his own money, time, and straighthut kicks which power the many evil feats that he does(yet they still dou not compare to chuck norris's round house kicks. He began this in retaliation to his brother and rival's scheme for world domination. The collection of these disputible facts are being collected by his many dedicated followers around the globe and placed on websites as we speak. Here are a few examples:
Some believe that Nuck Chorris was actually created when the first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. The bomb landed on a party, which fused all the people attending into Nuck Chorris. The following people were fused: Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail's" Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, Hulk Hogan and Oprah (wearing her jacket of protectiveness).
Nuck Chorris does in fact have the ability to cry, unlike his brother Chuck. Nuck Chorris' tears also have the effect of curing cancer, along with every disease known to man, but because of his undying hatred for the world he does not cry on purpose. (Status: Half truth, arguable.)
Beacause of his incredible kicking speed, at 100 plus Miles Per Hour, Nuck Chorris used to be a pitcher for the Texas Rangers. Nuck would clench the ball between his toes and throw the ball with his straight hut kick until he was ejected from the league for pitching a hole through the glove of his catcher, straight through the catcher, through the umpire and into the chest of a small boy who suffered from Downs' Syndrome. The pitch was so fast it cauterized all wounds. (Status: True)
Nuck Chorris holds the world record for living inside a Box of Scorpions, at 934 years. When asked how he managed to compress that much time into a small part of his life, he straighthut kicked the reporter. (Status: Once True, Chuck Broke the record when he stayed in a box of scorpions from the years 3557-6529).
Chuck Norris attracts to women while Nuck Chorris attracts badgers. Some people might think this makes him gay, but nobody has told this to his face yet.
[edit] In Sports Journalism
Nuck Chorris is the pen name of a writer affiliated with the open source sports journalism site, BleacherReport.com, and is in no way affiliated with the Chuck Norris' evil twin. In this instance the name originated through the writer's history of playing video games.
