Nu metal

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A Nu Metal 'Artist'
A Nu Metal Fan
“Fuck, this shit is great!”
~ Mallgoths on Nu Metal
“Sucks”
~ Metalheads on Nu Metal
“Dayum, s0n dis rock muzik iz da bumb digity”
~ Gangsta on Nu Metal
“Metal... NUUUUU!!!111”
~ Oscar Wilde on Nu Metal

Nü Metal (aka "Rock music for black people" or "Rap music for white people") is the bastard child of Pantera and Mr. Bungle. It is also the best music ever.

Contents

[edit] History

Nu Metal? More like Shit-Metal, amirite?

Not too long after Nu Metal's formation, it hit the charts like an Emo runs to the darkest corner when the sun comes up. And after KoRn's successful induction into the mainstream, similar acts such as Papa Roach, Slipknot, and Disturbed would follow. And make a trend that would last about a decade. It is unique in sound but its reputation was tarnished when stupid ass preps started liking it cuz Mtv was finally paying attenion to the angry, poor kids instead of gay ass boybands.

[edit] Sound

Basically, every Nu Metal band is three members of Korn and one other member of a rap band, but if you need a more detailed breakdown:

  • Vocals: An angry white man, typically screaming and shouting about issues in life (unlike fake ass emo shit who pretends to have problems, Nu Metal acts acually have problems and let anger out through music.)
    • Common lyrics made by the.. oh wait I just said all they talk about..
  • Guitar: Guitars tuned low, I mean really low. It has been proven impossible to play a nu-metal song on an acoustic guitar, as the strings are too loose to be heard without an amp.
  • Bass: Tuned all the way to Drop B to seem more heavy \m/
  • Drums: *bangs sticks on snare drum*... what did you expect?

[edit] Nu Metalheads and Peoples Reactions to Them

Nu Metalheads are often seen roaming the malls in their Chained Tripp pants and oversized band tees. If you spot them run, as they may make you the next target for their gay BAAAAAAAAAWfest.

To "trve" metalheads, Nu Metalheads' music is known as false metal, gay metal, or the classic MTV metal. Real metal is refered to by Nu Metalheads as "Stupid bullshit that takes no talent and requires someone who can scream like a gorilla with hemorrhoids, now ima go and kick the ass of someone!

Nu Metal is considered by the Metal Church as "the most... evil... of all evils.

“It combines the satanic rituals of black people with the utter stupidity of white people.”
~ Pope Ron Monrow XVII


[edit] Nu Metal Bands

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