1945 - Nazis accidentally explode a nuclear bomb in Dresden. Allied air forces are subsequently blamed for mass firebombing.
1952 - In Guatemala, a CIA operation gives start to a era of brutal military dictatorships sponsored by the US government in Latin America ... wait... that's not funny...
1957 - The Invisible Wallet of Gold is stolen in Manchester, England. A local swan is blamed.
1963 - President Kennedy is accidentally assassinated by an angry, confused polar bear. The bear plants the gun on a napping Lee Harvey Oswald and escapes in a get-away sled. Nobody looks into it very much.
1963 - Absolutely nothing happened. You hear me? Nothing. If you heard otherwise, it's a filthy Communist lie.
1965 - The Wachowskis are invented by The Matrix to steal future CGI secrets.
1968 - Stanley Kubrick begins secret filming of the Moon landing aided by space aliens and several people that live there.
1983 - America's largest tin foil hat manufacturer is shut down – at the same time as a record number of "communications satellites" are sent into orbit by NASA.
1985 - 1985th anniversary of going to bed on November 21 and waking up on November 23 mysteriously in a different position than when you went to sleep.
1986 - Hands Across America is celebrated at the same time as secret evidence is presented during the Iran-Contra trial.
1989 - The remains of JFK's brain is grafted into a 150 foot tall, titanium, laser-eyed, nuclear-powered robot to celebrate the anniversary of his death. JFK-9000 runs amuck and is subsequently destroyed by Godzilla, who had to be flown in especially from Tokyo.