From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The nothing belt is a natural defense evolved over millions of years by the United States. It's first and primary purpose is to protect the rest of the states from the harmful effects of California. It has been argued that with the invention of modern transportation, humans are weakening this essential defense and could soon suffer from global boring. The second purpose is to defend against nukes from Russia, by giving them empty space in which to crash and asplode. A lesser known purpose is to hide secret government buildings which dont really exist.
There is little use for the nothing belt as there is nothing in it. Recently, the United States has considered giving it to Mexico. "By letting Mexico have the nothing belt, illegal immigration will no longer be an issue." said a politician "the Mexicans will simply keep moving up until they reach Canada, and then they're Canada's problem." His opponents on the matter disagree (obviously). "If we're sending them to Canada, why not just give the whole thing to Canada?". This argument was later defeated when a study by the government proved that while the nothing belt contains mainly nothing, Canada exports large amounts of cold. This cold is essential to the economy, and Canada simpy does not have the economic strength to contain such massive quantities of nothing.
The Anti-Treehugger association has suggested completely destroying the nothing belt. "Its just unnessecary travel time" said some dude. "We should blow it up with a spacetime bomb, thus creating a rip in space and shortening the travel time significantly." This plan was met with harsh opposition, with oppononts claiming that this would mix the two incompatible ecosystems and likely cause the universe to explode.
edit Inside the nothing belt
As the name implies, theres almost nothing here. Just look at the states, theres no borders so they just make them streight lines. This is so the US can look like it owns more stuff than it actually does, thus increasing it's power. It is believed that Oklahoma's "panhandle" is the result of boredom, a disease affecting all travelers who pass through the area.
75% of all buildings are secret government-owned property, with the other 1 building being the shack which operates Runescape servers in the US. This building was saved from demolition by an angry mob, who insisted it had great historical value. This is because Runescape is known to have revolutionized the definition of a game, changing it from "An amusement or pastime" to "A pastime", thus proving even something with absolutely no fun such as Runescape could still be called a game.
The belt is used primarily for deporting unwanted idiots, including politicians, school staff, celebrities and Microsoft, who are then eaten by Eurgs. This is because Eurgs are nobodies of Grues, and thus thrive mainly in conditions lacking in everything. They are the only known animals that can digest such large amounts of the nothing common throughout the area, and also the only animals that live in the nothing belt.
The primary export of the nothing belt is nothing, obviously. This nothing is exported in large trucks made of nothing. It is an essential component of space. It is also the currency of the nothing belt, and used to buy products that are free. The area supplies the nothing which fills up the human brain. However, nothing is used by terrorists to create boredom bombs, and the government is currently considering a ban on nothing. A minor export of this region is boringness.