From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“The true struggle to understand what the hell nothing is.”
Nothing is a very strange word. What is nothing? How do you interpret nothing? Why have we got a word called nothing if we are talking about nothing!? It’s so confusing and annoying that I’ve been an annoying person and decided to dedicate a page of arguments about it here.
edit The Argument
Well if nothing is indeed nothing, why have we even bothered making a huge list of stupid words to describe nothing? Nothing could be: (Not anything. Zero, zilch, zip, nil) Why the heck don’t we just have one flipping word to describe nothing instead of having several hundred descriptions of the word It’s so meaningless like having dogs protecting a lamb chop or sheep protecting a paddock of grass! It’s stupid to have a word that describes nothing if there isn’t anything to describe! Why the heck would you bother to think up the word nothing if it didn’t mean anything, but still didn’t mean nothing! It would mean it had to mean something but not anything at the same time! Man, it’s hard to talk about something that you don’t know anything about and even harder to talk about nothing! And to think that this is a page of stuff just referring to the obscenity of nothing and how stupid it is that we even have the word nothing if there isn’t anything that is nothing and that everything has to be something and THEREFORE nothing can be nothing and everything has to be something doesn’t it? Or am I just confusing the heck out of you? Anyway it’s confusing the heck out of me. Why I dedicate a page of words to talk about something that is something but is still nothing because nothing is not anything but nothingness.
Phew! Anyway I think that nothing is a huge waste of time even thinking about because just thinking about nothing is impossible because you are always thinking about something because how can you be thinking of nothing? You are always thinking of something even if you think its nothing because then and only then you would be thinking about nothing, and still when you are thinking about nothing it can still be considered as something. Because if nothing is something wouldn’t we be able to think of a better description of nothing then: “Not anything”. Because if it’s not anything what the heck is it then? It would have to be a description like: “nothing” instead of not anything because nothing is nothing but what kind of description is nothing!?!?
But if nothing is nothing what would something be? Would it be anything or would it be like nothing and have a description like “something” or would it be anything because something is a very vague word. BUT what about anything? Would it be a description like: “Anything but nothing” be it? But nothing HAS to be something because no-one would or probably could be bothered talking about nothing for no reason at all.
edit The Verdict
Nothing is part of everything. As it is part of everything, that would nullify it from being something because everyone knows that nothing is nothing as long as no-one ever thinks about nothing because that would mean nothing would be something, and not nothing at all. Nothing would be a waste of dictionary space. Nothing HAS to mean something but it must be anything BUT something so that nothing is a small part of everything because even though nothing may be everything!! I conclude that nothing is everything-anything + something! Victory! I have discovered what nothing is! If you didn’t understand what the heck I am going on about here’s an overview: Nothing is something that is not anything but it is everything but not something that is visible for us humans. Wow! To think that nothing is everything but something that we can’t see but everything we can’t. I hope that you have learnt everything about nothing from this summary of nothing.