Norton virus

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Norton Virus, or "Norton Virus" was created in the future by Skynet employees Steve Jobs and Bill Gates (grand-nephews of Peter Norton or something like that.) It was intended to deliver to computer users their greatest ultimatum:

To allow their computers to be virus-free, and running smooth,

OR

To live in a world that is virus-fabulous, with a computer running like Windows Vista.


But studies have shown the above to be crap. As the name suggests, Norton virus is a type of Influenza that leaves patients in critical condition. Upon insertion into any of the computer drives, the computer recoils into a state of shock like Gollum upon loss of his ring.

The program's general purpose has been broadened to also pertain to improving upon the Privacy Violation aspects of the malware aggregate and porn search engine Google.

edit Norton Virus 2007 (H4Xx0r Edition)

nortonvirusoy7.png

edit Features

The current Vista-incompatible version (also available for Mac OSX Leopard, Linux, Unix, and The Matrix) provides various features and services, including but not limited to:

-Removal of any goodware, such as hardware, software, as well as consistent user pests like operating systems.

-The option to download the latest viruses available from the internet.

-Network-disabling tools to minimize the performance of your network.

-Online sharing to share the latest and greatest viruses with your friends.

-A full installation file for Microsoft Windows 2000.

edit Requirements

-Pentium 9 Processor 1Hz

-1 kb Free Storage

-RAM

-Mouse

-Keyboard

-Graphics Card is optional, but not required. Recommended cards include Pokemon cards, Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and The Race Card.

-General Job Experience; Must be able to handle difficult situations with tact. Call now!

edit See also

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