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How could this happen?!
And on my birthday of all days!
This was supposed to be the happiest day of the year. Now it's the worst day of the year! The worst day EVER!
Why, of all the 7 billion humans on this big, blue rock did this happen to me? I want to know?
WHY GOD, WHY???!!
Am I being punished? How have I angered you, oh vengful God?! I PRAY THAT YOU TAKE MERCY UPON ME!!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!
- ↑ Nooooooooooooooooooo!