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“The Noodle Incident has taught us all that sometimes its hard to put food on your family, and that sometimes its hard to keep radioactive spaghetti from killing them”
“SEE! THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO EAT YOUR GOD DAMN OATMEAL!”
The Noodle Incident was an event which occurred at Three Mile Island in 1995, when someone left a pot of spaghetti on a nuclear reactor and then forgot about it. The resulting overflow of nuclear powered, superintelligent spaghetti, threatened environmental disaster.
edit May 25th, 1995
Early in the evening of May 25th, 1995, John Calvin was preparing dinner for the staff of Three Mile Island on the open core of a nuclear reactor, as was his custom. Due to a falling out with his former colleague and co-worker, the famous tiger Thomas Hobbes, there was no one to watch the spaghetti when Calvin realized he had forgotten the wine. Thinking he would only be gone a moment Calvin left, leaving his batch of spaghetti the opportunity it had been waiting for.
edit The Pasta Reacts to the Reactors Reaction
Due to some science-type-stuff that is too complex to be explained or understood, the reactor overheated, causing the pot to over-flow, and radiating the spaghetti. Like everything that comes into contact with radiation, the spaghetti was endowed with intelligence and superhuman strength. Now sentient and angered at being considered a food item the spaghetti attacked.
edit The Cleanup
The Great Spaghetti Battle (not to be confused with The Butter Battle or The War of Too Much Garlic), was a 4 day affair in which many lives were lost, great treasure was spent and many a shirt was ruined by marinara sauce. Only by calling in the Imperial Penguin Army did the humans triumph, particularly under the guidance of Admiral Pingu and his men. On day three of the battle reinforcements arrived from New Jersey with a caravan carrying garlic bread.
It appears that John Calvin returned to the power plant shortly after the spaghetti boiled over, and was therefore the first to be killed by it. Tragically his former colleague Thomas Hobbes was killed also in the incident. Historians can only speculate as to whether he was there to apologize, or to strangle the dumb jerk. Following the disaster a group of geriatric old men decided that it was best to let bygones be bygones and further resolved that young whippersnappers keep off the lawn.