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Nonprofit organizations are an elaborate money making scam originally conceptualized by the Knights Templar in 1129. Often known as the poor knights, the Knights Templar became one of the wealthiest factions in the middle ages through their work as a nonprofit organization.
The Knights Templar were just one among many groups of charitable knight orders founded during the crusades. Others include but are not limited too The Knights Hospitaller and the Germans. Like all good nonprofit organizations and knightly orders, they were financed and protected by the most morally correct peaceful and well-natured nonprofit organization of them all, the Catholic Church. The original mandate of the Knights Templar was to protect pilgrims traveling through Palestine. They did this chiefly by forming banks and seizing all monetary possessions of new members. The charitable work of the Knights Templar eventually amassed great wealth and power showing the world just how rich you can get from operating a nonprofit organization. The Templars eventually fell out of favor in 1312 due to accusations that current head Jacques De Molay (An open Frenchman) was a homosexual and that the order was not a proper nonprofit organization but in fact an atheist militant group, also known as a nonprophet organization. Accusations of nonprofit organizations being run by homosexual atheists are still common today.
Since the Templars, nonprofit organizations have continued to flourish for brief periods of time and then decline. Organizations such as the Freemasons, Illuminati and Salvation Army have all for a time been in the media spotlight. Generally current nonprofit organizations differ from traditional medieval ones in the following ways.
- Run by volunteers and soul contract obligated slaves
- Sometimes Affiliated with Protestant church factions
- Make more profit
- No longer run by Frenchmen
The modern nonprofit organization is a multinational guilt trip conglomerate unto itself and is no longer hindered by excommunication, as the Templars were.
edit Modern operation
Most nonprofit organizations draw their funding from white guilt though a select few have been known to attract genuine altruism. Generally speaking funds are collected through donations campaigns and fundraisers with roughly 20% of all money made being sent to hungry African children. The remaining 80% being retained for the all important "Shipping and Handling" costs. This technique known as pan-handling (after the Prophet of nonprofit organizations, Pan) has grown increasing popular in the 21'st century and was listed as number 4 in the Belgian Guide To Get Rich Quick Schemes 2011 edition.
edit Notable modern organizations
- The Red Cross
- The Iron Cross
- The Red Star
- The Saint Vincent The Pool Cleaner Society For The Benefit of Male Porn stars
- The Wiemar Republic