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“You thieving bastard!”
“His brows are testament that reforestation is a success!”
“What have I done?! ”
“Our kid? His writings fuckin' shite man aye should write the songs, d'yaknowwarramean?”
“I did a fair bit of TWOC-ing in Moss Side in the 80s, and I don't remember him at all. And as for the Kippax...don't make me laugh! I knew every face in the Man City firm, and he wasn't one of them.”
Noel 'The Prick' John Paul George Ringo Mick Keef Weller-Gallagher (b. 1956 in t'North, UK) is a Manchester musician, motivational speaker, drug lord, bartender, scientist, hitman, male escort, and son of prop comedian, Gallagher, and local brothel-maid, Susan Havapenny. He likes to think he's The Fifth Beatle, and we humor the little guy.
He gained international success in the 1990s as the only that exists within the band Oasis. Amongst his nationally adored songs are classics such as "Live Until You're 74 or Something", "Wonderwall", "Cigarettes And Alcohopops", "Get It On (Bang A Gong)", "Don't Look Back You Wanker", " "Yellow Tangerine", "Let It Be", "She Loves you", "All You Knead Is Bread", "The Ballet of John and Yoko" and "Tomorrow Has Some Idea" and "A Day In The Lift", "Sunday Morning Brawl", "She's Dangerously Electric, Stay Away From Her As It Is Not Normal For Anyone To Be Electric And She Comes With A Sign Saying DANGER", "Morning Jury"
He is famous for his romantic involvement with Damon All Bran of Blur and his notoriously tempestuous relationship with his brother Lion Gallagher. They really don't like each other. Seriously. He has been described as the most vital force in British songwriting in the past 20 years by sources as diverse as himself, his Mum, the NME and that bloke down the pub who had a trial with Oldham and swears he could have made it as a professional footballer if it wasn't for the gout. Noel Gallagher has also been romantically linked with; bananas in pyjamas, the smoke monster from Lost, Whoopi Goldberg, and Queen Elizabeth.
was released decided to leave the salt mines to attend high school. There he met Alan White, John Paul III (The Once and Future Pope), and Gus Van Sant. Coincidentally enough, they each knew how to play a different instrument, except for Van Sant (but he was always good for a few pounds for a round or two), and they quickly formed a band titled Small Pool Of Water In The Desert, Particularly Suited For Nourishing Travellers And Their Pack Animals. This name was shortened to Oasis on the programs for their first gig at Tank's Ribs and Slaw, a local restaurant/brothel.
Unfortunately, the caravan wiped out the band's assets, and they had to do what every band short on cash does: they went on a tour of Japan. There, the band deserted Noel, and eventually formed The Twitless Three. Noel eventually went on to create the webcomic Megatokyo, and currently lives in South Dakota, in Abe Lincoln's left eye. Noel is also famous for his strong stance against anti-knife crime, stabbing anyone who dares to promote it.Noel is also best friends with rapper Jay-z and are often seen in Brighton together at the weekends, often staying up until the early hours of the next morning, it was here where Noel developed his love for strawberry lemonade and wrote a song about it called speak tomorrow.
Noel recently disappeared after filming a documentary on Berwick Street. According to the evidence left on camera his last words were a solemn 'Thats it then innit, I suppose?' According to Quoasis fans he then descended into top 10 rock legend history. Although most sources claim that him and Paul McCartney still haunt the Welsh Countryside at night, stealing cabbages and Um Bongo.
When Noel left Oasis he decided that he would group with someother hippies that he met in the park, and make the best band in the world again; Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds was formed. The name came from his earlier days when Liam threw his own poo at Noel. It flew high and hit Noel in his head and the name has been there ever since. < wtf?