Noel Gallagher

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“You thieving bastard!”
~ The Beatles on Noel Gallagher
“His brows are testament that reforestation is a success!”
“What have I done?! ”
“Our kid? His writings fuckin' shite man aye should write the songs, d'yaknowwarramean?”
~ Liam Gallagher on Noel Gallagher
“I did a fair bit of TWOC-ing in Moss Side in the 80s, and I don't remember him at all. And as for the Kippax...don't make me laugh! I knew every face in the Man City firm, and he wasn't one of them.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Noel Gallagher
Noelonfire
Noel Gallagher, 1983 Lower Eurasia Brine-Gargling Champion

Noel 'The Prick' John Paul George Ringo Mick Keef Weller-Gallagher (b. 1956 in t'North, UK) is a Manchester musician. He likes to think he's The Fifth Beatle though he is not from Liverpool. This article is to humor the little guy.

He gained international success in the 1990s as the only that exists within the band Oasis. Amongst his nationally adored songs are classics such as "Live Until You're 74 or Something", "Wonderwall", "Cigarettes And Alcohopops", "Get It On (Bang A Gong)", "Don't Look Back You Wanker", " "Yellow Tangerine", "Let It Be", "She Loves you", "All You Knead Is Bread", "The Ballet of John and Yoko" and "Tomorrow Has Some Idea" and "A Day In The Lift", "Sunday Morning Brawl", "She's Dangerously Electric, Stay Away From Her As It Is Not Normal For Anyone To Be Electric And She Comes With A Sign Saying DANGER", "Morning Jury"

Gallagher is known for notoriously tempestuous relationship with his brother Liam Gallagher. They really don't like each other. Seriously. Noel has been described as the most vital force in British songwriting in the past 20 years by sources as diverse as himself, his Mum, the NME and that bloke down the pub who had a trial with Oldham and swears he could have made it as a professional footballer if it wasn't for the gout.

Forming Oasis

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Noel Gallagher.

Noel was released decided to leave the salt mines to attend high school. There he met Alan White, John Paul III (The Once and Future Pope), and Gus Van Sant. Coincidentally enough, they each knew how to play a different instrument, except for Van Sant (but he was always good for a few pounds for a round or two), and they quickly formed a band titled Small Pool Of Water In The Desert, Particularly Suited For Nourishing Travellers And Their Pack Animals. This name was shortened to Oasis on the programs for their first gig at Tank's Ribs and Slaw, a local restaurant/brothel.

The band gradually gained huge success, and Noel's new found riches enabled him to finally buy a luxury caravan for his ma.

Unfortunately, the caravan wiped out the band's assets, and they had to do what every band short on cash does: they went on a tour of Japan. There, the band deserted Noel, and eventually formed The Twitless Three. Noel eventually went on to create the webcomic Megatokyo, and currently lives in South Dakota. Noel is also famous for his strong stance against anti-knife crime, stabbing anyone who dares to promote it.Noel is also best friends with rapper Jay-z and are often seen in Brighton together at the weekends, often staying up until the early hours of the next morning, it was here where Noel developed his love for strawberry lemonade and wrote a song about it called speak tomorrow.

Noel recently disappeared after filming a documentary on Berwick Street. According to the evidence left on camera his last words were a solemn 'Thats it then innit, I suppose?' According to Quoasis fans he then descended into top 10 rock legend history. Although most sources claim that him and Paul McCartney still haunt the Welsh Countryside at night, stealing cabbages and Um Bongo.

Solo Projects

When Noel left Oasis he decided that he would group with Shaggy off of Scooby Doo, Spiderman, and Robin Van Persie, which made the best band in the world. ; Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds The name came from when Spider-Man shot his web up high with Shaggy attached, and then Shaggy caught this bird in mid flight, a pigeon to be exact, and then ingeniously they thought up the Hugh Flying Birds.

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