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“What? I see your lips moving but all I hear is "blah blah blah."”
Origins in Ancient Greece
The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure.
Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat.
Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born.
Some people decided they were lords and crushed the peasantry which begot the Feudal Era. The peasants didn't want to be serfs, but nobody cared and they got whipped for not wanting things.
There were a bunch of native people living in America with rights to the land, but nobody cared. They took all the land and gave the natives diseases and the government decided nobody gave a crap and set up laws about the right way to steal land.
Enslaved persons didn't like being forced to work, but nobody cared and they were whipped and auctioned off. The government agreed that nobody cared about black people and prohibited giving them rights.
There was a civil war, but nobody cares why or who won.
The Irish potatoes got sick and the Irish came to America. Nobody cared that they were hungry and told them, "Irish Need Not Apply." The government had already decided that nobody liked the Irish and didn't care.
The Titanic sunk, but honestly, who gives a crap? Never let go... Too bad, Jack, nobody cares.
Then there was a bunch of stuff about rights and who gets to vote and who gets lynched, but nobody cares.
Then there was a war in Europe and nobody cared.
There was a depression and lots of people died, but nobody cares.
Hitler started killing off the Jews, but nobody cared and America only wanted to end the depression and establish its place in the world.
Then everybody found out Hitler was killing the Jews and nobody cared that nobody hadn't cared.
Then more stuff happened, but nobody cares about any of it except maybe September 11th. Sometimes.
Baseball thought it was exciting, but nobody actually gives a potato.
Celebrities did a bunch of stuff, but nobody cared enough to pay attention.
The Supreme Court guy died or got sick or retired or something. Then they replaced him, but it's not like anyone cared.
Steve Ballmer wanted to kill something, but nobody cares.
Your mom died, but no one really cared.
Somebody made a lot of important contributions to Uncyclopedia, but the admins decided that "nobody cares anyways" and banned them.
The Rest of the World
We'd finish this article, but nobody ca
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