Nobody cares

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“No comment”
~ Lord Byron on Nobody cares

“What? I see your lips moving but all I hear is "blah blah blah."”
~ Oscar Wilde on Nobody cares

Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration.


Something seems to be missing, but nobody cares.

Origins in Ancient Greece

The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure.

Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat.

Continued Prevalence

Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death.

Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born.

Some people decided they were lords and crushed the peasantry which begot the Feudal Era. The peasants didn't want to be serfs, but nobody cared and they got whipped for not wanting things.

Everybody decided they hated Jews next, and the Jews insisted they never did anything, but nobody cared and Spain kicked them out. The Muslims too.

Witches started hexing everyone next. Well, they claimed it was an accident, but nobody cared and the witches were burned.

Then the people of France were upset by their monarchy. The monarchy decided that nobody cared and the people decided to revolt.

Around that time, Britain decided to tax the American colonies. The colonists decided that nobody cared about what Britain wanted and started a war.

Stuff kept happening in Europe, but it's generally agreed that nobody cares.

Recent Years


Someone dropped The Scream in a puddle, but nobody cares.

There were a bunch of native people living in America with rights to the land, but nobody cared. They took all the land and gave the natives diseases and the government decided nobody gave a crap and set up laws about the right way to steal land.

This guy invented kitten huffing, but no one cared about that, either.

Enslaved persons didn't like being forced to work, but nobody cared and they were whipped and auctioned off. The government agreed that nobody cared about black people and prohibited giving them rights.

There was a civil war, but nobody cares why or who won.

The Irish potatoes got sick and the Irish came to America. Nobody cared that they were hungry and told them, "Irish Need Not Apply." The government had already decided that nobody liked the Irish and didn't care.

Karl Marx started communism, but nobody cared because he was German.

The Titanic sunk, but honestly, who gives a crap? Never let go... Too bad, Jack, nobody cares.

Then there was a bunch of stuff about rights and who gets to vote and who gets lynched, but nobody cares.

Then there was a war in Europe and nobody cared.

There was a depression and lots of people died, but nobody cares.

Hitler started killing off the Jews, but nobody cared and America only wanted to end the depression and establish its place in the world.

Then everybody found out Hitler was killing the Jews and nobody cared that nobody hadn't cared.

The hippies started spawning and protesting and doing drugs and making love, but nobody cares about hippies.

Then more stuff happened, but nobody cares about any of it except maybe September 11th. Sometimes.



Lisa's missing her head and nobody cares.

When told that there weren't any WMDs in Iraq and that there was no reason to invade, George Bush is said to have said, "Nobody cares anyways."

Um, something about a popey thing way off in La La Land caused a lot of people to be sad, but even more couldn't care less.

Baseball thought it was exciting, but nobody actually gives a potato.

Celebrities did a bunch of stuff, but nobody cared enough to pay attention.

Something happened in New Orleans, doing some stuff and causing Kanye West to make a fuss about something or other, but nobody cares about him.

The Supreme Court guy died or got sick or retired or something. Then they replaced him, but it's not like anyone cared.

Steve Ballmer wanted to kill something, but nobody cares.

Your mom died, but no one really cared.

Somebody made a lot of important contributions to Uncyclopedia, but the admins decided that "nobody cares anyways" and banned them.

The Rest of the World

Nobody cares.

This Article

File:Who cares.jppngif

We'd finish this article, but nobody ca

Potatohead aqua Featured Thing
I guess someone put this whatever on the front page thing.—you can something or something else your least-unfavorite whatevers at somewhere, but nobody cares.
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