Nobody

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m (I know the myth but it sits awkwardly here. Ask me on my talk page.)
 
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[[File:800px-Corn Field.JPG|thumb|300px|Nobody '''is''' there]]
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[[File:800px-Corn Field.JPG|thumb|300px|Notoriously camera shy, this is one of the better known photographs of Nobody. As you can see, this picture was taken in the heart of winter.]]
 
{{Q|Nobody's perfect.|Nobody}}
 
{{Q|Nobody's perfect.|Nobody}}
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{{Q|Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!|Spanish Inquisition}}
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{{Q|[[Nobody cares|I care]]|Nobody|caring}}
   
 
Born as '''No one''', '''Nobody''' has been shrouded in mystery, to the extent that his parentage, and even the date of his birth, are completely unknown. His talents are endless and he possesses [[the]] largest [[arrogance|ego]] in the known universe. The reason for the obscurity of his continued existence is believed to be linked to the fact that he made himself [[­|nameless]].
 
Born as '''No one''', '''Nobody''' has been shrouded in mystery, to the extent that his parentage, and even the date of his birth, are completely unknown. His talents are endless and he possesses [[the]] largest [[arrogance|ego]] in the known universe. The reason for the obscurity of his continued existence is believed to be linked to the fact that he made himself [[­|nameless]].
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== Earlier Years ==
 
== Earlier Years ==
[[File:nobodysymbol.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Nobody's insignia, which he proudly wears every day. It has been suggested that it is [[penis|phallic]] in nature, however if your penis looks like this, then you should be concerned.]]
 
 
 
The sound of the one hand clapping was the first in a series of discoveries he made. He went on to discover the whole truth, the philosophers stone, the meaning of life, the [[HowTo:Be Happy|<span title="secret of a penis">secret of happiness</span>]], the [[Fountain of Youth]] and the secret of success.
 
The sound of the one hand clapping was the first in a series of discoveries he made. He went on to discover the whole truth, the philosophers stone, the meaning of life, the [[HowTo:Be Happy|<span title="secret of a penis">secret of happiness</span>]], the [[Fountain of Youth]] and the secret of success.
   
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Franz Kafka wrote about nobodies. This is not remarkable, however, as Kafka wrote about all sorts of stuff that Nobody really liked.
 
Franz Kafka wrote about nobodies. This is not remarkable, however, as Kafka wrote about all sorts of stuff that Nobody really liked.
   
His unusual exploits drew the attention of the [[Illuminati]], whom he as yet keeps eluding. They almost got him when they sent the [[Spanish Inquisition]] after him during his successful trip back in time, but to their dismay he [[Monty Python|expected them]] and escaped in time.
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His unusual exploits drew the attention of the [[Illuminati]], whom he as yet keeps eluding. They almost got him when they sent the [[Spanish Inquisition]] after him, but to their dismay he [[Monty Python|expected them]] and escaped in time.
   
==Later times==
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== Political career ==
When he was 10 years old, he had mastered art and hacking. With his excellent skills he peacefully convinced the furries and wapaneses to leave DeviantART and turned it into a full-Fledged art site.
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[[File:VOTENOBODY.jpg|left|thumb|160px|Nobody voted for Nobody...]]
 
When he was 23 years old, he became a senator and passed [[SOPA]]. This has caused the downfall of the internet. Surprisingly, this was quite welcome. Because he is nobody.
 
 
He had travelled back in time with [[Doctor Who]] to destroy the Nazis, the Japanese and the Fascists, thus stopping World War II from happening.
 
 
He also proved the existence of Jesus. This was still largely remains unknown, however, due to the information long lost because of some [[Christianity|religion]] related reason.
 
 
[[File:Propaganda3.JPG|260px|thumb|Propaganda to assassinate Nobody.]]
 
== Nobody Facts ==
 
* NOBODY has [[nothing]].
 
* NOBODY can lift himself
 
* NOBODY witnessed Orbos the Planet Destroyer actually destroying a planet.
 
* NOBODY is an island.
 
* NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
 
* NOBODY can hear you scream.
 
* NOBODY likes you.
 
* NOBODY understands women.
 
* NOBODY [[UN:N|cares]].
 
* NOBODY likes Mondays.
 
* NOBODY will live forever.
 
* NOBODY loves you.
 
* NOBODY likes this list, but other people do.
 
* NOBODY puts Baby in a corner. Seriously, Nobody does. He's a bastard like that.
 
 
[[File:VOTENOBODY.jpg|right|thumb|160px|Nobody voted for Nobody...]]
 
 
== Political aspirations ==
 
 
Nobody once ran for President, and although he didn't get in, he is still remembered as the best candidate yet. During his campaign, he said:
 
Nobody once ran for President, and although he didn't get in, he is still remembered as the best candidate yet. During his campaign, he said:
   
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**NOBODY will do what you want!"
 
**NOBODY will do what you want!"
   
Unfortunately, [[Nobody cares|Nobody took this seriously]], which ensured Nobody voted.
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[[Nobody cares|Nobody took this seriously]], which ensured Nobody voted.
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==Current status==
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[[File:nobodysymbol.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Nobody's insignia, which Nobody proudly wears every day. It has been suggested that it is [[penis|phallic]] in nature, however if your penis looks like this, then you should be concerned.]]
  +
While complete access to Nobody's financial status is difficult to obtain, it has been determined Nobody has [[nothing]]. However, his financial prowess is beyond par, as Nobody has been able to successfully predict all stock market fluctuations ahead of time and profit from this knowledge.
  +
  +
Physically Nobody is the perfect human specimen. In terms of feats of physical strength can lift himself, and in sensory capacity it has been determined that even in space Nobody can hear you scream. It has even been suggested that Nobody will live forever, as Nobody indeed lived to be of old age.
   
 
{{nobody cares}}
 
{{nobody cares}}
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[[Category:Things George Bush doesn't know about]]
 
[[Category:Things George Bush doesn't know about]]
 
[[Category:Honest and law-abiding politicians]]
 
[[Category:Honest and law-abiding politicians]]
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[[Category:Things that do or don't exist, but should or should not]]
   
[[el:?a???a?]]
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[[el:Κανένας]]
 
[[es:Nadie]]
 
[[es:Nadie]]
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[[id:Tidak ada yang]]
 
[[it:Nessuno]]
 
[[it:Nessuno]]
[[ko:???]]
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[[ko:노바디]]
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[[pl:Nikt]]
 
[[pt:Ninguém]]
 
[[pt:Ninguém]]
 
[[sk:Nikto]]
 
[[sk:Nikto]]
[[ru:?????]]
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[[ru:Никто]]
[[uk:?????]]
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[[uk:Ніхто]]
[[zh:???]]
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[[zh:没有人]]
[[zh-tw:???]]
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[[zh-tw:沒有人]]

Latest revision as of 21:55, January 4, 2014

800px-Corn Field
Notoriously camera shy, this is one of the better known photographs of Nobody. As you can see, this picture was taken in the heart of winter.
“Nobody's perfect.”
~ Nobody
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
I care
~ Nobody on caring

Born as No one, Nobody has been shrouded in mystery, to the extent that his parentage, and even the date of his birth, are completely unknown. His talents are endless and he possesses the largest ego in the known universe. The reason for the obscurity of his continued existence is believed to be linked to the fact that he made himself nameless.

Nobody, being enigmatic and tricky has no known proof of current existence, much like god and love. Also, despite having no known gender, it has been proven that in all likelihood Nobody loves you.

Some rather uppity, disenchanted women have complained that Nobody is a man. However, Nobody is perfect, and cares about everything and anything in the world, which suggests otherwise.

edit Earlier Years

The sound of the one hand clapping was the first in a series of discoveries he made. He went on to discover the whole truth, the philosophers stone, the meaning of life, the secret of happiness, the Fountain of Youth and the secret of success.

Nobody was around to hear a tree falling in a forest, but Nobody thought to ask if it made a sound.

Franz Kafka wrote about nobodies. This is not remarkable, however, as Kafka wrote about all sorts of stuff that Nobody really liked.

His unusual exploits drew the attention of the Illuminati, whom he as yet keeps eluding. They almost got him when they sent the Spanish Inquisition after him, but to their dismay he expected them and escaped in time.

edit Political career

VOTENOBODY
Nobody voted for Nobody...

Nobody once ran for President, and although he didn't get in, he is still remembered as the best candidate yet. During his campaign, he said:

  • "Vote for Nobody this election! Because...
    • NOBODY is an honest politician.
    • NOBODY deserves your vote.
    • NOBODY will do the right thing.
    • NOBODY will do what is best.
    • NOBODY believes in right and wrong.
    • NOBODY will do what you want!"

Nobody took this seriously, which ensured Nobody voted.

edit Current status

Nobodysymbol
Nobody's insignia, which Nobody proudly wears every day. It has been suggested that it is phallic in nature, however if your penis looks like this, then you should be concerned.

While complete access to Nobody's financial status is difficult to obtain, it has been determined Nobody has nothing. However, his financial prowess is beyond par, as Nobody has been able to successfully predict all stock market fluctuations ahead of time and profit from this knowledge.

Physically Nobody is the perfect human specimen. In terms of feats of physical strength can lift himself, and in sensory capacity it has been determined that even in space Nobody can hear you scream. It has even been suggested that Nobody will live forever, as Nobody indeed lived to be of old age.

Meh, nobody cares about this article.
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