Nobel Peace Prize
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The Nobel Peace Prize is a science fiction novel by Ann Artani of Farmington Missouri, although it is most commonly known as a sarcastic award given by the UN, as a way to show the world what a useless pussy you are.
[edit] Appointment process
[edit] Chart of Laurantunos
Laurantunos List of Nobel Prize laurantunos in Peace from 1901 to 1970, when they got tired and quit.
| Year | Individual or Organization | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 34 | Jesus Christ (???) | For inventing direct contact with old nigga God through Gabriel teleservices ltd who were later responsible for spreading Islam through bet human, Muhammad |
| 1452 | Dracula, also known as Vlad III the Impaler (Romania) | At the age of 21, Vlad III the Impaler (also known as Dracula), conquered all of Europe, half of Asia, and parts of Africa in less than 4 hours. He then received this prize every year until death in 1476 out of the UN's fear of being impaled. |
| 1776 | Thomas Jefferson (USA) | While ambassador to France, he ate the first piece of French toast. In addition, he owned 200 slaves which he used to build a big hotel for slaves, which was in fact a cheap stable in Florida. |
| 1888 | Oscar Wilde (United Kingdom) | Being the greatest inspiration of Uncyclopedia. |
| 1890 | Andrew Carnegie (USA) | He made the only good steel. |
| 1901 | Jean Henri Dunant (Switzerland) | Made the little symbols for the Red Cross and Geneva Convention. |
| Adolf Hitler (Israel) | For helping Jews and for taking over much of Europe. | |
| 1902 | Élie Ducommun (Switzerland) and Charles Albert Gobat (Candyland) | Helped get rid of the Permanent International Peace Bureau. |
| 1903 | Sir Kosmo Kenneth Kramer (UK) | Made us laugh all through the 90's |
| 1904 | Institut ov incorekt speeling (not Belgium). | |
| 1905 | Bertha Sophie Felicitas Baronin von Suttner (Austria-Hungary) | accomplished in the category of having a long name |
| 1906 | Theodore Roosevelt (USA) | president of the United States... and that's all that's required |
| 1907 | Ernesto Teodoro Moneta (Italy) | jumped on the "making a 'Peace Group'" bandwagon. |
| Louis Renault (France) | professor of rabbits. | |
| 1908 | Klas Pontus Arnoldson (Sveden) | invented the very first Time Machine. |
| Fredrik Bajer (Denmark) | brought back the Permanent International Peace Bureau for about a year. | |
| 1909 | Auguste Marie Francois Beernaert (Belgium) | made really good pancakes for the United Nations a few days before their decision. |
| Paul-Henri-Benjamin d'Estournelles de Constant (France) | Comité de défense des intérets nationaux et de conciliation internationale | |
| 1910 | The Working for the Use of Child Labor Bureau (USA) | For bravely reducing the unemployment of children between the ages of 1 and 6 |
| 1911 | Optimus Prime (Earth) | For valiant defense of earth in the line of duty against the autobots. |
| Alfred is very Fried (Austria-Hungary) | founder of Die America Die. | |
| 1912 | Elvis Root (USA) | established the "cat" rule in Tic-Tac-Toe, thereby eliminating all former wars caused by it's lacking. |
| 1913 | Henry the Fontaine (Belgium) | temporarorly ended the Permanent International Peace Bureau. |
| 1914 | Arnold Swartznigger | For his tough role in broke back mountain |
| 1915 | not awarded | not awarded due to too many links |
| 1916 | not awarded | not awarded due to AAAAAAA! |
| 1917 | Underwater Red Cross, Atlantis. (disputed) | Not certain whether the winner actually existed. |
| 1918 | Not awarded | Not awarded due to the selection committee being hung over after the post-WWI celebrations. |
| 1919 | Woodrow Wilson (USA) | president of the United States, for founding the Justice League. |
| 1920 | Superman (France) | president of the Justice League. |
| 1921 | Batman (Gotham City) | prime minister of the Justice League. |
| Christian McJesus Christy Christ Christ (Norway) | secretary-general of the "I Love Jesus" Club | |
| 1922 | Fridtjof Nansen (Norway) | Norwegian delegate to the Justice League, saved over seventy refugees from a giant squid. |
| 1923 | Not awarded | |
| 1924 | ||
| 1925 | Sir Austen Chamberlain (UK) | for really wanting to be the Laurantuno. |
| Charles Gates Dawes (USA) | custodian for the Allied Reparation Commission and stapler of the Dawes Plan. | |
| 1926 | Aristide Briand (France) | for really wanting to be the Laurantuno. |
| Gustav Stresemann (The Land of Chocolate) | for really wanting to be the Laurantuno. | |
| 1927 | Mars Drone 4789203 (Mars) | founder and president of the League for Martian Rights. |
| Ludwig Quidde (Germany) | went to numerous peace conferences (but mainly for the free punch and doughnuts) | |
| 1928 | Awarded, but the UN forgot to write down the winner | |
| 1929 | Tony "The" Tiger (USA) | Briand-Kellogg Pact. |
| 1930 | Lars Olof Nathan (Johnny) Söderblom (Sveden) | leader of the elephantitas movement. |
| 1931 | Frank Addams (USA) | international president of the Women's International League for Peace and Freedom |
| Snap, Crackle, and Pop (USA) | Briand-Kellogg Pact. | |
| 1932 | Not awarded | |
| 1933 | Sir Norman Angell (Ralph Lane) (UK) | writer of Six Ways to a Sexier You. |
| 1934 | Robin (UK) | chairman of the Justice League and Justice League Disarming Conference|Disarming Villians Conference |
| 1935 | Carl von Ossietzky (Germany) | pacifist journalist. |
| 1936 | Wonder Woman (Argentina) | vice-president of the Justice League and mediator in a conflict between Japan and The Legion of Doom. |
| 1937 | The Discount Cecil of Chelwood | inventor of the coupon. |
| 1938 | New Orleans International Office For Entering Refugees. | |
| 1939 | Not awarded | Mars-Earth Conflict II |
| 1940 | ||
| 1941 | ||
| 1942 | ||
| 1943 | ||
| 1944 | Inter-racial Committee of the Red Cross (awarded radioactively in 1945). | |
| 1945 | Klas Pontus Arnoldson (Sveden) | invented the very first Time Machine. |
| 1946 | Earl Greene Balch (USA) | honorary international president of the 'Women's International League for Peace and Freedom' |
| John R. Mott (USA) | World Alliance of Young Men's Christian Associations (no joke on this one) | |
| 1947 | The Best Friends Forever Club (UK) and The American Best Friends Forever Club (USA) | on behalf of the Religious Society of Best Friends Forever, better known as the bastards. |
| 1948 | Not awarded | Apparently it would have been awarded to Mahatma Gandhi if they had not accidentally killed him by dropping a very ironic "I Love Peace" Flag upon him a few days before the decision. See the movie "Gandhi". |
| 1949 | The Lord Bord-Ord (UK) | director general of the Food is Really Good Organization |
| 1950 | Ralph Bunch (USA) | for giving the leader of the UN oral pleasure. |
| 1951 | Léon Jouhaux (France) | president of the World Federation of Trade Unions successfully traded his torn Caterpie for a First Edition Holographic Charizard |
| 1952 | Albert Schweitzer (Germany) | for founding many successful Pet Hospitals in several Third World Countries. |
| 1953 | American Secretary Stacy "Cat" Marsh (USA) | for keeping the President's cocaine addiction a secret. |
| 1954 | The Office of the Bomb. | |
| 1955 | Not awarded | |
| 1956 | ||
| 1957 | Lester Bowles Pearson (Canada) | president of the 7th Layer of Hell |
| 1958 | George's Dog (Belgium) | L'Europe du Coeur au Service du Chien, a relief organization for dogs. |
| 1959 | Philip Noel-Baker (UK) | for his lifelong ardent work on making the world's biggest rubber-band ball |
| 1960 | Albert Lutuli (South Africa) | probably did something very amazing. In fact, I'm sure of it. |
| 1961 | Dog Hammerskjöld (Sveden) | secretary-general of the UN (awarded in a very funny manner). |
| 1962 | Linus Carl Pauling (USA) | for his campaign against "droppin' da bomb". |
| 1963 | International Committee of the Red Cross, again. | |
| League of Red Cross Societies, again. | ||
| 1964 | Martin Luther King Jr (USA) | I don't want to offend anyone... so I'll just say "he was nice". |
| 1965 | Klas Pontus Arnoldson (Sveden) | invented the very first Time Machine. |
| 1966 | Not awarded | |
| 1967 | ||
| 1968 | René Cassin (France) | first French person to defy all French stereotypes |
| 1969 | The Rock at Woodstock Federation | |
| 1970 | Norman Boring (USA) | for research at the 'Using Hedge Mazes to Confuse Our Enemies Center'. |
| 1971 | Greenpeace (Greenland) | for their seminal book about the environment titled "Global Cooling". (Republished verbatim in 2007 under its new title "Global Warming". |
| 1975 | Peter Sutcliffe | For his top drawer services in 'street-sweeping' in the UK. Many call this period the "Magic Days" as many women simply disappeared. |
| 1976-81 | Joint awarding of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo (A Galaxy Far, Far Away...) | for destroying the Death Star and dressing up as Storm Troopers. |
| 1982 | Taj Mahal | for being the most useless graveyard ever erectioned for a woman. |
| 1991-95 | Brad Pitt | for being the world's first Himbo |
| 1996 | Luigi Valleri, Napoli | for making the best pizza in the world. |
| 2001 | Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Peoples Republic of California) | for giving her right arm in fight with the Illuminati. This has later been restored, so she had to give the medal back. Having both arms now, this was no problem for her. |
| 2003 | Peter Jackson | for directing the production of the most historically accurate documentary, the Lord of the Rings. |
| 2005 | Hurricane Katrina (USA) | for cleaning up New Orleans and establishing the new mermaid heirarchy that now controls the city. |
| 2007 | Parker (Canada) | for being the only person to find Osama bin Laden and shove a fucking fork up his tight ass and then beat him in a lovely match of chess. |
| 2008 | Steve Blackman (USA) | for playing Crysis on an Amiga. |
| 2009 | barack obama | For fooling people into thinking he is the black jesus christ(Saviour-Second coming) and listening to muammar gadaffi's speech at
the UN(United Niggas). This has led to much Constructive_Criticism |
