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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Today's Party Column


Today's Featured Article - Slut shaming

Protest against slut-shaming

Slut shaming is the basis of modern society — the pillar on which decent people plop their weight — the great turtle on which morality stands in order to reach the top shelf. But it is equally important as an amusement, the amount of which is limited only by the number of:

  1. Definitions of the term "slut,"
  2. Available shaming techniques, and
  3. Participants on hand.

The term "slut" signifies a woman whose fortress is not well-guarded. The concept is relative, not only because the figurative winners write the history of war, but because the proverbial pen is mightier than the sword. Thus, every human being unfortunate enough to be born female is a potential slut, and many live up to their potential.

Sigmund Freud stated that sexual desire motivates human actions. Nevertheless, slut shaming is not always sexual. The alleged slut can be a teenager who bares a fraction of her body (any fraction) for a fraction of a second in front of a fraction of a camera; or equally likely an elderly Cambridge lady, researching into the role of slut shaming.

So it is not that a woman defends her fortress but that she burrows under the fortress of social control — such as when she criticises slut shaming itself. A key defense that society uses is the "slut factor," as a woman is not only a slut when she acts sluttily, but especially when she resists acting sluttily. To further show the term's marvelous adaptability, a woman acting maximally slutty is never called a "slut" by her co-actor, at least for the entire time they are in bed together. (more...)

Recently featured: NBC

Yesterday's Featured Article - NBC

NBC 2014

NBC is an American television corporation. During television's "golden age," NBC was a big member of the "Big Three," which tirelessly presented the same content as its two rivals.

In the modern era, NBC has split into dozens of niche channels and projects, which swim in every American's video bloodstream like an antibody looking for an infectious idea to latch onto and destroy.

NBC was begun by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA), eventually to stand proudly alongside CBS and ABC. This was the reassuring 20th Century, in which everything big had a three-letter abbreviation. There was no torture of terrorists but merely DOD, and RET to the ROK, and welfare was simply HUD and HEW, and even spoke English without an African American accent, LOL. It was a nation where Grandpa still had decades left before discovering that permanent foreign involvement and the welfare state didn't work — and even after he did, he would keep getting checks in the mail from the SSA.

RCA had acquired two radio stations, WJZ in Newark and WEAF in New York City. RCA was perturbed that WEAF had more than three letters, and no less perturbed that no one could listen to both stations at the same time (as people had at most one radio).

At the time, no one wanted to listen to even one radio station, and they did so only because the only alternative was going outdoors and listening to sirens and gunshots. The scientists of the day were experimenting with using radio to send pictures as well as sounds, and RCA management was experimenting with running two businesses without two staffs. "We are starting a network" became a more pleasing posture than, "We are firing all the employees and keeping their pay."(more...)

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Today's hangul word is
tortilla
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


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Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

  • ...that a rose by any other name would be called something else?

edit You cannot deny...

  • ...that Godot isn't coming?


More wisdom

Party members of the month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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