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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 31,521 articles since opening in 1948.


Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.



Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line
The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...


North Korea

Today's Party Column


Today's Featured Article - Shanty town

A shanty town...

Greetings everyone and my name is Bob Smiles! I am a business man currently living in a shanty town and I would like to tell you that they are the BEST TOWNS EVER!!! I mean, you have everything you want in there! Including your essential roof! It has lots of holes so when the rain comes, you get a free shower! How cool is that? And that's not all.

You have free toilet paper! Ever stumbled upon a couple of rags on the ground? Wait, fuck that, they're not rags, they're awesome good quality toilet paper! Rub it on your backside and it gives you a soothing comfortable feeling! Sometimes, it may give you a little squelch, which is probably those dead insects being crushed under your backside which is probably just the awesome quality's side effects! Cool right?

Still not convinced? The rooms come in cheap prices! You don't need to cross bridges because they already have a big rubbish dump in the river for you to walk on! That just shows us how considerate our President is! Isn't he awesome?

I can see you having second thoughts about this. But don't leave! Not yet! I still have a load of things to talk about with you! You might change your mind, you know... (more...)

Recently featured: Shanty town

Yesterday's Featured Article -

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Our glorious history

February 27: Banjo Impressions Day.

  • 1972: Diwn diwndiwn, diwn diwn, diwn diwn, diwn diwn
  • 1982: Banjo impressions are banned in Alabama during its Third Five-Year Plan.
  • 1985: deh de dew dew dew dew dew dew , dew........deh de dew dew dew dew dew dew , dew.
  • 1986: He's got a real pretty mouth on him, don't he?
  • 1994 - Top of the Flops debuts on BBC Two, earning a place at No.1 on this show results in a £10,000,000 fine. Madonna was the first Number One with Played Like a Banjo.
  • 1998: Nintendo and Rareware officially release Banjo-Kazooie, brief fad of impersonating a bear hits America
  • 2006: Apple's iRon topped selling charts for the first time.
  • 2007: Pokemon Olive a pokemon game was supposed to come out but didn't.
  • 2040: Intel creates the world's fastest computer processor, "Idiot Inside"
  • 2050: Apple sued for putting Michael Jackson in its iRon ads
  • 2645: Ting Tong playing Ping pong with King Kong in Hong Kong.
  • 2846: Ping-Pong merrilly on high...
  • 2847: Your mom plays my banjo... if you know what I mean.
  • 3007: Dr. Zoidberg plays spin the bottle with Dick Cheney and wins Bush's best tie, and a badger.
  • 3009: Smart humans invent The Banjo and make 23 billion songs. Five Published, millions buy Albums, $10 made.

Complete, fully accessible party archives

Today's hangul word is
furbish
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK

Joseph Wapner.jpg

Second Front Pages: BrexitHillary!TrumpUK 2015 electionGreece


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

edit You cannot deny...

  • ...that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
    • ...that withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
      • ...that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?


More wisdom

Party members of the month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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