From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“'I once had a glass of Nitrogen. It was a delicious glass of nitrogen.'”
“'I vouge for the removal of Nitrogen from our public schools'”
edit The Nitrogen cycle
Nitrogen is the fuel of the devil. He is trying use nitrogen so he can put out the the great fire of Hell. It is trying to steal all the nitrogen from use. But we need this nitrogen so the sun doesn't burn us into a smouldering pile of Keesh. The god of nitrogen, Nitrogeneus which is a godly god, is actively trying save us. He has power over all of our nitrogen. He places it in a cycle so it would be nearly inaccessible for the devil. It spins round so fast that when the devil gets near it, he gets dizzy and starts to spin round with it. This only spins it faster. The only way he can steal our nitrogen is if he gets in league with the bacteria. But as he is not immune to the diseases, he needs to get a doctor to give him a vaccine. The devil doesn't know this and if any human tells him this, the said human will be regarded as a traitor.
edit How nitrogen was originally formed
It is believed nitrogen was first made by nitrogenous at the turn of the second billenium ( 2.5 billion years ago). It was created to put out the giant fire that engulfed the earth. This is similar to the ice age; however, this fire was way more interesting. It was fuelled by the excretion of infant terredactyls during infant terredactyl mating season.
This is another reason that terredactyls are extinct, because during pregnancy, the infant terredactyl's fetus devours the infant terredactyl from the inside out, making the life span of a terredactyl less than 1 month.
edit Stages of the Nitrogen Cycle
Several globs of the gelatenous nitrogen goo build up in the anusphere and begin to form remarkable shapes of Rosie O. Donnell, which grow into definite shapes, very much unlike the real Rosie O. Donnell, who, on the contrary, is indefinitely huge and lesbian. As these gooey shapes form, they begin to change to the color of Bill Gates's pubic hairs, which is similar to straw, further proving that his curtains most definitely do not match his drapes, nor his carpet.
Upon reaching the size of Rosie O. Donnell, the droplets of Nitrogen goo crystalize into a phallic shape. Sometimes these phallic crystal fall back onto the earth's crust, scrushing small woodland creatures and attracting men who look strangely like Steve Martin.
Then plants break down these crystals into useful substances, like THC.