From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Oh my God. This Nissan Rogue is so cool”
The Nissan Skyline is Nissan's newest addition to their line-up. It has eight wheels, a steam engine, and has enough horsepower to tow all of the other cars in the line-up. Sadly, it requires a track to run on.
edit The Battle of the Skyline
edit The Begining
You may have heard the Great story of the Battle of the Great and Powerful Chevrolet El Camino VS the True hearted Ford Ranchero. It is a little known fact, but Japan had a similar battle worthy of a samuri. It all started in 1957 when a seemingly harmless Japanese 60hp "luxury car" rolled off the line. But this was a dark day for the land of the rising sun; someone set them up the bomb. The Skyline had humble beginnings as the Choice car for the rich and famous of Japan. The skylines enjoyed carting around high personality super stars. But it's humble beginnings wouldn't stay with it for all of it's riegn.
edit The Initial Strikes
In 1969 Over 10 years after the skyline was introduced the first GT-R model was made. This made the humble Skyline a little bit cocky. They no longer wanted to be "luxury cars" they wanted to race. Hearing of a great battle raging in the americas the skyline had an idea. To be the quickest JDM. The Skyline started to be sold in parts of europe. And it's reputation of being a quick nimble car was growing.
edit The fatefull day
In 1972 the Skyline got a new body style, more sporty and a stiffer chassis. It's Luxury image was gone. It was a race car. But all this went the the skyline's head. It bagan running other competitor vehicles off the road. It once even tryed to take on a muira (and failed miserably) This one race was a shocking blow to the skyline. Never having encountered a car which could out run it, this made the skyline very angry. It set out to destroy all NA performance cars in the world.
edit The NA defence
The other car makers jumped at the news of the skyline becoming beligerant. Honda reacted with the S800, Mazda with the RX-7. The Skyline easily whiped out the S800, but was once again confused by the mighty RX-7s speed and agility. The battle raged on for years like this , with the occational interuption and defeat of a companies car. The RX-7 finally started to get frustrated when the Toyota Supra started being fitted with a turbo charger. The two cars joined forces and started to repel the RX7 into a state of uglyness in the late 80s. It will last long, for the skyline had a drastic plan to give it the edge.
edit A Step up
In 1991 the skyline Underwent an amazing change. It made it even more powerful than before. Some said that all your bases are belong to it. With an improved four wheel drive system along with an extremely well handling four wheel steering system (That it needed if to have a fighting chance against the RX-7) The battle raged for another two years until the RX-7 underwent an extreme change. With a smoother body style and a larger and more efficient Wankel rotary engine. The Supra was also being given battle merrits such as Twin Turbos and a six speed transmission. With these new faster more deadly machines roaming the streets of japan who knew what would happen day to day. Hundred of good cars were lost the the menacing skyline. but the Skyline's new upgrades came at a cost. The higher price of the Skyline drove people to get cheaper cars, such as 240SX's and Honda CRX's and tune them to become great wariors. But in 2002 came a devastating blow to the forces of good. Their valliant NA leader the RX-7 and the turbo's second hero Supra were both taken out of production. It seemed as though the skyline was going to prevail.
edit A New kind of war
In the year 2002 all seemed to be lost, but as 2003 rolled around things seemed to brighten up. A predecessor of the RX-7 was made, the RX-8, not quite as nimble of quick as the RX-7 but still a formidable enemy, and with the Civics, 240x and corollas starting to upgrade into battle ready machines this started to take a turn for the better.The Skyline and the GTR disbanded so the GTR battled with lambos and the skyline became BFF's with the GTR.Both cars thrashed RX8.
The battles still rage on today, with many skylines, supras and RX-7s falling every day. But the future still looks dark. But every once in a while you may hear the whine of a Twin Turbo or the Rev of a Wankel. And you know that a battle hardened veteran RX-7 is coming to lead the Civics and Neons to victory over the turbo hero Nissan skyline.... It is even said that the Skyline will be trying to over throw the americas in the year 2008. But mabey, just mabey the Battle Hardened El Caminos and Rancheros, Camaros and Mustangs will put aside their differences and fight along side the Rx-7s and Supra's (who have be pre esablished in the americas) and stop the onslaught of the turbo hero Nissan Skyline! In recent months many discovered that the hero known as the Supra would morph itself into something....a better supra, through black hybrid energy magic it was reborn as two monsterous beasts of jap engineering one was called the Lexus LF-A sporting a 4.8L V-10 and the other is the Toyota FT-HS sporting a 3.5L V6 Hybrid engine, one using old fashioned gasoline and raw gigantic penis sized engine while the other with mystical fuel efficient technology created by the same monsters that made the Prius. Here stands two gods from the blood stained hands of Toyota leading masses of 240sxs', 300zxs', civics, integras, crxs', and many other oddly named cars all waiting to defeat the skyline as it emerges in the western world. To face the formidable toyotas, the skyline went though another amazing change. Bigger, Faster and stronger then the pervious model, the new model strikes fear into even the bravest El Caminos as it roams the streets. Not to be one out done, further development of this evil machine is taking place and further upgrades are expected before the battle for Europe begins. The skyline may be feared, but out of the shadows comes the prancing horse and the raging bull. Placing aside their differences these two rivals bring hope to good side. The Mitsubishi Crime Family realized that Toyota and Mazda could use all the help they could get so they sent out the Lancer Evo X, sporting a 4B11T 2.0 L turbocharged, all-aluminum inline-4 engine. Many thought that aluminum wouldn't be able to man up to the vicious steel engines of Japan, but they were fools, the Evo's lightweight body and now lightweight engine make it fast and goddamn useful at corners. Now stands a holy trio of car companies Mazda with the RX-8, Toyota with the LF-A and FT-HS, and Mitsubishi with the Lancer and Lancer Evo X.
Doomsday had arrived for within the last month the new and improved GTR started popping up in parts of the Americas. It had quickly stamped onto the streets and grew a horrid reputation after defeating the flagship car of the US, the Mustang. In a brutal race the GTR rampaged past the Mustang and soon conquered all of the other American cars. Realizing the loss of their commarades the Japanese knew then needed help so they to the foreign lands of EUROPE and asked Don Bugatti for his assistance.
The battle for the world continues.
Alas, The End had come and during the final hours the G.M. released a stronger more horrid version of their Corvette kit waS CalLED CORVETTZR1 AND MUrDErHoUsEd the GT-R. The last of the surviving civics, rsxs, supras, and RXs saw in awe and disbelief that Chevy still had balls. And all was good as the old Caprice closes the book and drives off into the sunset with the gran torrino.
THE NEW NISSAN SKYLINE GT-R IN PERFECT CONDITION ... youhave dishonorned my nissan skyline. YOU SHALL GO TO HELL!