Ninjazi

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The elusive Ninjazi was a combatant of World War II, trained by Adolf Hitler and utilized in situations where regular German cannon fodder wouldn't work.

edit Origin

The Ninjazi was first born in the year 1897 to Oscar Wilde and Johnny Ramone, Munich, Germany. Unemployed for most of his life, he found friends in the Nazi Party and soon became known for his über-jutsus. One day, the Nazis were getting real drunk. Like, drunk enough to write Mein Kampf. They decided to write a bunch of random phrases on pieces of paper and put them in a hat; whichever three they pulled would determine their strategy for any coming wars. The first paper said "destroy all Jews"; the second, "invade Russia while wearing summer clothes"; the third, "begin Ninjazi program". After they sobered up they decided these were all actually good ideas, and when the War broke out, the Ninjazi began his quest.

edit Appearance in World War II

The Ninjazi's first debut was, as probably inferred from above text, in World War II; his first magic trick was using a smoke bomb to simultaneously escape and choke a random American soldier. Actually I think he was Dutch. Whatever. His success in this trick gained the applause of millions; the applause quickly turned to a search as he really did disappear. He reappeared on top of a tram wire and shot a British man in the head with an FG-42. When the Allies noticed his name was NinjAZI and began an aggressive hunt for him, he was long gone. He served in other minor engagements, once again garnering applause then killing search parties looking for him. His last appearance was at the Führerbunker, where a retired SS member claims he saw the Ninjazi replacing Hitler and Braun's wine with deadly poison.

edit After WWII

Hahahah, I got you so good with th–...it's not April Fools'? When is it? ....I missed it? God damn. Alright then, on with the show.

The Ninjazi disappeared after indirectly killing Hitler and Braun. This was a true disappearance, by the way; every search party returned with every member in one piece. Well, except <insert name here>. Then again no one liked that self-serving asshole anyway.

Many claimed sightings of the Ninjazi have been made over the years, yet only once was a claim true: one "Jacob Guid" claimed to have seen the Ninjazi staring into the sun from his neighbor's roof; as soon as police arrived to investigate, Guid and both police were silenced with swastika-shaped shuriken.

edit In other media

The Ninjazi appears in Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory under the disguise of an ordinary Nazi known as "Covert Ops". His actual outfit (along with Captain Obvious) are unlockable by dumping Pepsi on your keyboard.

edit See also

edit Final note

Soviets and Nazis are completely different. So if someone combines, say, these two sentences:

  • "Heil Hitler!"
  • "
    “In Soviet Russia, {{{1}}} {{{2}}} YOU!!”
    ~ Russian Reversal on Ninjazi
    "

then he's obviously a lying son of a bitch and needs castration.

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