Ninjapedia
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“This beautiful 1013 volume set of leather-bound reference materials looks forward to killing you soon”
~ Ninjapedia on Ninjapedia
“I died”
~ Some guy on Ninjapedia
“I killed him”
~ Cuppycake Ninja on guy
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| Author(s): | an unknown number of anonymous contributors, clad in black, who vanished as quickly as they came | |
| Language(s) | English & Engrish | |
| Genre(s): | Reference Encyclopedia | |
| Media Type: | 14 Hardback Volumes | |
| ISBN #: | 1-01337-133-7 | |
| Web Version: | http://www.ninjapedia.org | |
| Hazmat Classification: |  | |
The Ninjapedia, also known as the Encyclopædia Ninjanica (忍者の事典), is a 1013 volume encyclopedia set that is currently in its 2nd edition. It is published by Holocaust denier's book company Skullastic.
Contents |
[edit] Controversy
Little is known about this encyclopedia, but it has killed many men. According to the publishers, 'Ninjapedia is the most definitive compendium ever written of all things ninja-related.' This claim has not been verified as the books are printed with poisonous black ink on glossy black pages. While the complete series once was catalogued by rogue librarians of the U.S. Library of Congress, since then all but two volumes of the one-thousand-thirteen volume set have vanished since. The volumes left remaining in circulation are:
- Volume I: AAAAAAAAA! ~ Bō staff
- Volume XII: Origami ~ Sai.
They are currently checked out by library patrons unknown.
[edit] Excerpt(s)
Volume II - The Great Ninja war
There was no great ninja war. The ninjas instantly defeated their enemies. Turn the page.
“What page, you FFUUUUUKIN' Idiot?”
~ Cuppycake Ninja on guy
However, it is said that battle plans were drawn up to rid ninja-kind of the followers of Naruto Uzumaki; known as 'the annoying Orange one'. Mere pretenders to the ancient arts of ninja, they seem to spend most of their time jumping off walls in ridiculous cosplay outfits. It is said that soon, when someone can actually decipher this volume, the battle plans will be realised and true ninjas will destroy these pre-teen fakers.
Volume IX - Pirates
The entirety of this volume is said to be dedicated to chronicling the tactics and weaknesses of Pirates. It has been thought that this gave Ninjas an advantage over Pirates, as they were too drunk and illiterate to write books about their foe.
Volume XXVII - Silence
This volume was most precious to ninjas because it taught of the Ninja's great truth, Silence. The only proof of this volume's existence is the non-existence of said volume. Valued by masters of the art of death and librarians.
[edit] Other Editions
While the 1st edition, published sometime in the Heian period (794-1185), was handwritten in Japanese on rice paper, the current edition is published in two languages: English and Engrish. There is also a web version available on the interweb at the official site[1] that strangely enough does not contain any actual articles.
“Fuck ninjapedia, lets just nuke the shit out of em yeee haaww”
~ George Dubya Bush on a random slut talking about ninjapedia
[edit] See Also
[edit] Official Site
