Ninja Bird

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The Ninja Bird is actually hundreds of thousands of Ninja Birds acting as a collective entity. Ninja Birds were first trained on the summit of Mt. Heeeeyaaaahhhh by the great Ninja master, Yoshimitsu. Yoshimitsu trained his pupils well until being challenged and defeated by a monkey. Coincidentally this monkey also shot JFK. Any bird wishing to become a Ninja bird must pass through the legendary Ninja Bird Training Program (NBTP). To gain the enlightenment required, the bird must find Mt. Heeeeyaaaahhhh and sit in its flames for 3 days. Many birds have tried and failed, they are then served in Chinese retaraunts. If you ever see a Ninja Bird it has already stolen most of your vital organs and sold them to Romanians

You may remember this scene from House of Flying Daggers, all the 'actors' you see are infact Ninja bird puppets.

[edit] Why become A Ninja Bird?

A commonly asked question among the feathered community, there are 3 reasons:

1)Ninja Birds get free dental care
2)Who doesn't want to be able to kill people before they can see you?
3)See 2!

This is what happens if you cross the Ninja Bird, don't let it be you! Foo!

[edit] Is it possible for a human to become a Ninja Bird?

Sadly the answer is no (the clue is in the word BIRD), however you could become a normal ninja, they're kinda cool. If you really wanted to become a Ninja Bird I guess you could disguise yourself as one, but be warned, if you're caught you will end up on the Romanian black market. There are exceptions to the rule (see below)

This man tried to become a Ninja Bird. Sadly, at the last minute, somebody reminded him he is infact a mammal.

[edit] What kinds of martial arts to Ninja Birds learn?

Primarily Jew Jitsu, after that its Chinese Driving.

The legendary Ninja Bird Training camp, there are 100,000 Ninja birds in this 1 photo, they're all moving so fast you can neither see nor comprehend them.

[edit] Can a Match Box?

No, but a tin can.

[edit] Are there any known affiliates of Ninja Birds?

Yes:
The Offensive Tit of Vietnam
Donald Rumsfeld - Trained with Ninja Birds from 83-89
Mr. T - Wore Ninja Bird feathers while working for the A-Team
Captain Obvious - Stated that Ninja Birds are infact birds that are ninjas.
Pirate Ninja Jesus - Rose with the help of Ninja birds and completed the ninja half of his training with them
George "Fuck up" Bush - Once tried to capture a Ninja Bird, it stole his brain (See: Iraqistan)

[edit] Possible sighting of a Ninja Bird

A possible sighting of a Ninja Bird! Taken by communists

I hear you asking yourself, "IS IT TRUE??!!!11one", and it would seem so. From the picture to your right it would seem some communists photographed a Ninja Bird in flight. You have to remember though, these are communists and by right of passage that means they're Russian and everyone knows Russians kill babies. So anyway, there's the evidence, its up to jew to decide.