Dogshit sandwich

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A Nigger Dogshit Sandwich is a sandwich consisting of the final part of a dog's large intestine placed in a sliced bun or between pieces of bread. This part of the intestine typically contains the canine's darkly coloured feces, hence the name.

History

Bread has been eaten with crap since its creation in Neolithic times, but the concept of a shit sandwich is more recent. The immediate cultural precursor with a direct connection to the English ordure sandwich was to be found in the Netherlands of the 17th century, where the naturalist John Dung observed that in the taverns intestines hung from the rafters "which they cut into shorter pieces and eat with bread and mustard laying the sausage-like entities upon the mustard" — explanatory specifications that reveal the Dutch bekakt broodje was as yet unfamiliar in England.

If it was initially perceived as food men shared while gaming and drinking at night, the sandwich slowly began appearing in polite society as a late-night meal among the aristocracy. The sandwich's popularity in England increased dramatically during the 19th century, when the rise of an industrial society and the working classes made fast, portable, and inexpensive meals essential.

Black and Tan Coonhound

A Black and Tan Coonhound. Ideal for obtaining all the ingredients required for either format of sandwich.

Alternate sources

Although the nigger dogshit sandwich is typically obtained from a dog's large intestine, some purist and arguably more racist connoisseurs prefer other methods. If one has a ready supply of niggers and an equal allotment of dogs it becomes possible to make the sandwich using real niggers, and real dog shit. Surely a more pure sandwich. However in modern times and depending on your apparent ethnic origin, asking for "Niggers please" in a public place may meet with an unwelcome response. Unless you are the Pope.

Usage

Nigger dogshit sandwiches are a widely popular type of food. They are taken to work, school or picnics to be eaten as part of a packed lunch. The 'shitload' is typically accompanied with condiments such as mustard, ketchup, pickle relish, sauerkraut, urine, vomit and slime molds.

Controversy

Though the nigger dogshit sandwich has been considered a traditional food since its very inception, in more recent years, certain movements have come to see the practices related to the making and preparing of the nigger dogshit sandwich as an inhumane abomination. Animal rights activists have violently protested against the terrible suffering that dogs supposedly undergo when their intestines are extracted for the production of nigger dogshit sandwiches.

Noted advocates of animal rights frequently call upon the aid of celebrities and various historical figures to support their case. The below example shows a statement of Enlightenment philosopher Voltaire often cited by these animal supremacists.

Hot dog-789736

Would you kill this cute little puppy, just so you can have your shittily delicious meal?

Cquote1 Hold then the same view of the dog which has lost his master, which has sought him in all the thoroughfares with cries of sorrow, which comes into the house troubled and restless, goes downstairs, goes upstairs; goes from room to room, finds at last in his study the master he loves, and betokens his gladness by soft whimpers, frisks, and caresses.

There are barbarians who seize this dog, who so greatly surpasses man in fidelity and friendship, and nail him down to a table and dissect him alive, to acquire shit-filled intestines! You discover in him all the same organs of feeling as in yourself. Answer me, meat eater, has Nature arranged all the springs of feeling in this animal to the end that he might not feel?

Cquote2

Social impact

Since the popularization of nigger dogshit sandwiches, the intelligence of the general public has dropped dramatically, while the overall obesity rate has risen quite drastically. Scientists blame this on the low nutritional value of nigger dogshit sandwiches and other kinds of junkfood. You know what scientists? Go eat shit fuckers!

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