Nigeria

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m (Reverted edit(s) of 188.26.208.38 (talk) to last version by Frosty)
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{| class="toccolours" border="1" cellpadding="4" style="float: right; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; width:200px; border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 95%; clear: right"
 
{| class="toccolours" border="1" cellpadding="4" style="float: right; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; width:200px; border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 95%; clear: right"
|+ style="margin-left: inherit; font-size: medium;" | '''Republik Federaal bu Niseeria'''<br>'''Federal Republic of Niggeria'''<br>'''Niggeria'''
+
|+ style="margin-left: inherit; font-size: medium;" | '''Republik Federaal bu Niseeria'''<br>'''Federal Republic of Nigeria'''<br>'''Nigeria'''
 
|-
 
|-
 
|nononononono
 
|nononononono
 
{| style="background: none;"
 
{| style="background: none;"
 
|- align=center
 
|- align=center
| [[Image:Swastika.gif|150px]]
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| [[Image:800px-Flag of Nigeria.png|150px]]
| [[Image:Swastika.gif|100px]]
+
| [[Image:Coat of Arms of Nigeria.png|100px]]
 
|- align=center
 
|- align=center
 
| <small>(Flag)</small>
 
| <small>(Flag)</small>
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| style="font-size:95%" colspan="2" | [[Motto]]: 100% LEGAL AND SAFE!
 
| style="font-size:95%" colspan="2" | [[Motto]]: 100% LEGAL AND SAFE!
 
|- align=center style="vertical-align: top;"
 
|- align=center style="vertical-align: top;"
| style="font-size:95%" colspan="2" | [[Anthem]]: O Nigger Princess
+
| style="font-size:95%" colspan="2" | [[Anthem]]: O Nigerian Princess
 
|- align=center
 
|- align=center
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
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|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
| '''Government'''
 
| '''Government'''
| NIGGERS
+
| Communist garden-party state
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
| '''PRESIDENT'''
 
| '''PRESIDENT'''
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|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
| Main exports
 
| Main exports
| [[Niggerian economy|E-mail scams|Chestfuls of Unclaimed Cash awaiting transfer to your bank account]]
+
| [[Nigerian economy|E-mail scams|Chestfuls of Unclaimed Cash awaiting transfer to your bank account]]
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
 
| '''Religion'''
 
| '''Religion'''
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|}
 
|}
 
{{Q|May I borrow your card number? I'll give it back, I promise|Dr Dolubasao Jabangway}}
 
{{Q|May I borrow your card number? I'll give it back, I promise|Dr Dolubasao Jabangway}}
{{Q|Oh look, it says here this guy from Niggeria will give me $5,000,000 if I give him $5,000|Oscar Wilde}}
+
{{Q|Oh look, it says here this guy from Nigeria will give me $5,000,000 if I give him $5,000|Oscar Wilde}}
 
{{Q|Why won't anyone help me transfer my money to their bank account? I got the $5,000,000 right here, and you can keep 20%, just please, help me transfer it...no really, I'm serious...|Prince Olajuwon II|Email offers}}
 
{{Q|Why won't anyone help me transfer my money to their bank account? I got the $5,000,000 right here, and you can keep 20%, just please, help me transfer it...no really, I'm serious...|Prince Olajuwon II|Email offers}}
{{Q|All customers not flying first class; please leave the plane momentarily and help give it a push start. Thank you for flying Niggeria airways.|Niggeria Airways}}
+
{{Q|All customers not flying first class; please leave the plane momentarily and help give it a push start. Thank you for flying Nigeria airways.|Nigeria Airways}}
Greeting, and how are you doing, Okwonkwo? ''Niggeria'' lies in the center of Africa and is shaped like a heart. Niggeria's national product is the "Nig", and is a smash hit in America and some European countries. The Nig is essentially a Sham Wow, and is even sold by Vince! Niggeria is a very rich country with good and hard working leaders, and in fact, it has a $500.000 dollars that it needs to get to the United States so that it can be put into the right hands, and it needs to transfer 20% of that to your bank account first.
+
Greeting, and how are you doing, Okwonkwo? ''Nigeria'' lies in the center of Africa and is shaped like a heart. Nigeria's national product is the "Nige", and is a smash hit in America and some European countries. The Nige is essentially a Sham Wow, and is even sold by Vince! Nigeria is a very rich country with good and hard working leaders, and in fact, it has a $500.000 dollars that it needs to get to the United States so that it can be put into the right hands, and it needs to transfer 20% of that to your bank account first.
   
It has a vast amount of natural resources. It is widely known for its hard working people. It is believed that each of the 36 states, in addition to having massive quantities of oil, also has vast mineral resources. With a workforce that amounts to one of the most literate and zealous in Africa, Niggeria is capable of being the next superpower. Un des plus grands malentendus arose during the discussion of economic superpowers such as [[Western Union]]. [[Niggeria]] is well known for its perfect credit record and is currently the home of the [[Visa]] headquarters and other honest credit card companies. Despite media reports, Niggeria was the first country to place a man on the moon and gave [[Amerika]] lower-class Niggerian workers in the 1700's to aid in [[Amerika]]'s development. This is different from [[Narnia|Niberia]], which has exorbitant taxes and bank accounts that are not limited to what is actually in the account.
+
It has a vast amount of natural resources. It is widely known for its hard working people. It is believed that each of the 36 states, in addition to having massive quantities of oil, also has vast mineral resources. With a workforce that amounts to one of the most literate and zealous in Africa, Nigeria is capable of being the next superpower. Un des plus grands malentendus arose during the discussion of economic superpowers such as [[Western Union]]. [[Nigeria]] is well known for its perfect credit record and is currently the home of the [[Visa]] headquarters and other honest credit card companies. Despite media reports, Nigeria was the first country to place a man on the moon and gave [[Amerika]] lower-class Nigerian workers in the 1700's to aid in [[Amerika]]'s development. This is different from [[Narnia|Niberia]], which has exorbitant taxes and bank accounts that are not limited to what is actually in the account.
   
   
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The head of the government was his excellence Mr. Alexander Donald Griffiths of Darlington but has since been deposed by former BBC presenter [[Ray Stubbs]]
 
The head of the government was his excellence Mr. Alexander Donald Griffiths of Darlington but has since been deposed by former BBC presenter [[Ray Stubbs]]
 
head of security Mr Wahab Babangida
 
head of security Mr Wahab Babangida
[[image:Nigerianmillionaire.gif|thumb|right|200px|Honest Niggerian millionaires use e-mails like this one to assist with transferring funds overseas. The recipient of this e-mail became extremely rich]]
+
[[image:Nigerianmillionaire.gif|thumb|right|200px|Honest Nigerian millionaires use e-mails like this one to assist with transferring funds overseas. The recipient of this e-mail became extremely rich]]
Niggeria is run by a series of Military Heads of State, whose reigns typically follow the following pattern. First, the leader accumulates vast amounts of wealth via 419 spamming. Then, the leader either locks up their wealth in foreign accounts (but forgets to give their family the money to pay the access fee), or stores it inside Niggeria's state banks. Next, the leader is invariably overthrown by the next Military Head of State. The family, naturally, urgently wishes to flee the country, and may need the assistance of a foreigner to help them get their assets out. Prominent leaders of Niggeria dispatched this way include the late Sani Abacha, Gen. [[Mobutu Sese Seko]], and many others.
+
Nigeria is run by a series of Military Heads of State, whose reigns typically follow the following pattern. First, the leader accumulates vast amounts of wealth via 419 spamming. Then, the leader either locks up their wealth in foreign accounts (but forgets to give their family the money to pay the access fee), or stores it inside Nigeria's state banks. Next, the leader is invariably overthrown by the next Military Head of State. The family, naturally, urgently wishes to flee the country, and may need the assistance of a foreigner to help them get their assets out. Prominent leaders of Nigeria dispatched this way include the late Sani Abacha, Gen. [[Mobutu Sese Seko]], and many others.
 
if white instead of taxes you give goverment bank accont acses
 
if white instead of taxes you give goverment bank accont acses
   
 
== Technology sector ==
 
== Technology sector ==
Niggeria has an extensive technology sector. The biggest business sector in Niggeria is online financial re-allocation. Many wealthy countries such as Britain often have large sums of unclaimed money. Niggers are typically employed to re-allocate millions of dollars to lucky Americans via email for a 100,000$ (ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SMACKEROOS) bank fee. Prince Okambo Magoma is a great benefactor for the tech industry. In fact, He has recently created an email research center in downtown Abuja...
+
Nigeria has an extensive technology sector. The biggest business sector in Nigeria is online financial re-allocation. Many wealthy countries such as Britain often have large sums of unclaimed money. Nigerians are typically employed to re-allocate millions of dollars to lucky Americans via email for a 100,000$ (ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SMACKEROOS) bank fee. Prince Okambo Magoma is a great benefactor for the tech industry. In fact, He has recently created an email research center in downtown Abuja...
   
The country code of Niggeria is "419".
+
The country code of Nigeria is "419".
   
 
==Religion==
 
==Religion==
The Church of Western Union is the main religion in Niggeria where 95.3% of the population follow this religion. The Church of Western Union play an important role of Niggers' daily life where people worship their God in cyber cafes. In Niggeria, the number '419' symbolizes the God of the country and every household has number 419 picture.no
+
The Church of Western Union is the main religion in Nigeria where 95.3% of the population follow this religion. The Church of Western Union play an important role of Nigerians' daily life where people worship their God in cyber cafes. In Nigeria, the number '419' symbolizes the God of the country and every household has number 419 picture.no
   
 
== Imports ==
 
== Imports ==
Niggeria major import is electronic bank transfers using Credit Card details you gave to your local garage. Your garage might seem friendly at first but once you get to Niggeria you notice how many people are using your money to buy themselves a banana. They also illegally import soiled female hygiene products and [[tuna]] from anonymous sports presenters at the [[BBC]]. The Niggerians make a special stew which they call [[Worst 100 Foods of All Time|Bloody-Rag Tuna Surprise and chips]], which they believe creates special flatulence which helps them to insulate their newly built [[igloo]].
+
Nigeria major import is electronic bank transfers using Credit Card details you gave to your local garage. Your garage might seem friendly at first but once you get to Nigeria you notice how many people are using your money to buy themselves a banana. They also illegally import soiled female hygiene products and [[tuna]] from anonymous sports presenters at the [[BBC]]. The Nigerians make a special stew which they call [[Worst 100 Foods of All Time|Bloody-Rag Tuna Surprise and chips]], which they believe creates special flatulence which helps them to insulate their newly built [[igloo]].
   
== Pax Niggeriana ==
+
== Pax Nigeriana ==
   
Pax Niggeriana is the emergence of Niggeria as a formidable power. With a population of 140 million, 2 in 12 (1 in 6 - factorise properly you bitch) Africans are Niggerian. Niggers are known for their light Caucasian complexion and blend nicely with the [[British]]. It has long been rumoured that [[England]] is in fact the true location of Niggeria.
+
Pax Nigeriana is the emergence of Nigeria as a formidable power. With a population of 140 million, 2 in 12 (1 in 6 - factorise properly you bitch) Africans are Nigerian. Nigerians are known for their light Caucasian complexion and blend nicely with the [[British]]. It has long been rumoured that [[England]] is in fact the true location of Nigeria.
   
== Niggerian History ==
+
== Nigerian History ==
Niggerian history is most commonly documented first hand, and archived by circulating millions of emails to people in the free world. Niggerian historians are known for their huge monetary expenses, and the need to transfer funds into Western bank accounts, usually through Western union.
+
Nigerian history is most commonly documented first hand, and archived by circulating millions of emails to people in the free world. Nigerian historians are known for their huge monetary expenses, and the need to transfer funds into Western bank accounts, usually through Western union.
 
 
It is a well known fact that Nigeria is currently building on its relationship with Wales, and that they are preparing for war. This upcoming war, the Welsh-Niggerio war (aka. WW3) will see this alliance of the world's most powerful two countries gaining global control of the tinned [[tuna]] market. According to key information given by Niggeria's political correspondent [[Tom Hanks]], that after their takeover of the world the Welsh-Niggerio alliance intends to start a chain of fast-food restaurants around the world. This chain under the name of "Dafydd Omolopo's good Niggerian food" will sell the already popular hybrid of Wales and Niggeria's famed foods Black pudding and fufu. It is estimated that this chain will earn approximately 86000 UGD per year.
+
It is a well known fact that Nigeria is currently building on its relationship with Wales, and that they are preparing for war. This upcoming war, the Welsh-Nigerio war (aka. WW3) will see this alliance of the world's most powerful two countries gaining global control of the tinned [[tuna]] market. According to key information given by Nigeria's political correspondent [[Tom Hanks]], that after their takeover of the world the Welsh-Nigerio alliance intends to start a chain of fast-food restaurants around the world. This chain under the name of "Dafydd Omolopo's good Nigerian food" will sell the already popular hybrid of Wales and Nigeria's famed foods Black pudding and fufu. It is estimated that this chain will earn approximately 86000 UGD per year.
   
While Niggeria itself doesn't have electricity, the country still is capable of using electrical goods, as all Niggerian bibles come complete with a plug socket built into the back cover. This enables Niggerians to run electrical goods from their blind faith, by connecting their appliance to the bible.
+
While Nigeria itself doesn't have electricity, the country still is capable of using electrical goods, as all Nigerian bibles come complete with a plug socket built into the back cover. This enables Nigerians to run electrical goods from their blind faith, by connecting their appliance to the bible.
   
Niggeria is also well known for its high turnaround of deceased royalty and businessmen, all who happen to die in tragic circumstances and fail to leave wills or notes to their left of kin behind. As of the writing of this article, Nigeria has run to 42,978,341 separate royal dynasties in 50 years and the average Nigerian business elects a new CEO on emergency session every 6 hours.
+
Nigeria is also well known for its high turnaround of deceased royalty and businessmen, all who happen to die in tragic circumstances and fail to leave wills or notes to their left of kin behind. As of the writing of this article, Nigeria has run to 42,978,341 separate royal dynasties in 50 years and the average Nigerian business elects a new CEO on emergency session every 6 hours.
   
It is customary for Niggerian men to jump over cows before they get married. Depending on how many cows they jump over will result in how good looking their wife is. Currently the record is held by oku!de (pronounced oku"click" de). oku!de jumped over 9 cows and has the most attractive wife in his village.If jumping over cows is not someone's specialty, then the men can fight a lion, however such an incident has never been recorded in Niggeria 3 year history
+
It is customary for Nigerian men to jump over cows before they get married. Depending on how many cows they jump over will result in how good looking their wife is. Currently the record is held by oku!de (pronounced oku"click" de). oku!de jumped over 9 cows and has the most attractive wife in his village.If jumping over cows is not someone's specialty, then the men can fight a lion, however such an incident has never been recorded in Nigeria 3 year history
   
 
== See Also ==
 
== See Also ==
*[[Nigerian Economy]]
+
*[[Nigerian economy]]
 
*[[Pwn3d]]
 
*[[Pwn3d]]
 
*[[Niggers]]
 
*[[Niggers]]

Revision as of 20:49, November 6, 2012

Republik Federaal bu Niseeria
Federal Republic of Nigeria
Nigeria
nononononono
800px-Flag of Nigeria Coat of Arms of Nigeria
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: 100% LEGAL AND SAFE!
Anthem: O Nigerian Princess
Capital AbuJA
Largest city New Friskerburgville
Official languages English
Gross Domestic Product $419
Government Communist garden-party state
PRESIDENT ODUPUWELO KITI LILI CHINYERE CHIMEZIE ANIYAM NMEZIMA
National Heroes Princewill Paparazzi MARIAM ABACHA
T-Man ( the gay black man)br>Dr Dolubasao Jabangway (country's only doctor)
Independence 1960
Currency US$ from 419
Main exports E-mail scams|Chestfuls of Unclaimed Cash awaiting transfer to your bank account
Religion Soccer
Population No-one knows: was 100 million not long ago - guesses put it between 120 million and 160 million. Probably too many, anyway.
Major Exports Scam Emails,BANK SCAM
“May I borrow your card number? I'll give it back, I promise”
~ Dr Dolubasao Jabangway
“Oh look, it says here this guy from Nigeria will give me $5,000,000 if I give him $5,000”
“Why won't anyone help me transfer my money to their bank account? I got the $5,000,000 right here, and you can keep 20%, just please, help me transfer it...no really, I'm serious...”
~ Prince Olajuwon II on Email offers
“All customers not flying first class; please leave the plane momentarily and help give it a push start. Thank you for flying Nigeria airways.”
~ Nigeria Airways

Greeting, and how are you doing, Okwonkwo? Nigeria lies in the center of Africa and is shaped like a heart. Nigeria's national product is the "Nige", and is a smash hit in America and some European countries. The Nige is essentially a Sham Wow, and is even sold by Vince! Nigeria is a very rich country with good and hard working leaders, and in fact, it has a $500.000 dollars that it needs to get to the United States so that it can be put into the right hands, and it needs to transfer 20% of that to your bank account first.

It has a vast amount of natural resources. It is widely known for its hard working people. It is believed that each of the 36 states, in addition to having massive quantities of oil, also has vast mineral resources. With a workforce that amounts to one of the most literate and zealous in Africa, Nigeria is capable of being the next superpower. Un des plus grands malentendus arose during the discussion of economic superpowers such as Western Union. Nigeria is well known for its perfect credit record and is currently the home of the Visa headquarters and other honest credit card companies. Despite media reports, Nigeria was the first country to place a man on the moon and gave Amerika lower-class Nigerian workers in the 1700's to aid in Amerika's development. This is different from Niberia, which has exorbitant taxes and bank accounts that are not limited to what is actually in the account.


Government

The head of the government was his excellence Mr. Alexander Donald Griffiths of Darlington but has since been deposed by former BBC presenter Ray Stubbs head of security Mr Wahab Babangida

Nigerianmillionaire

Honest Nigerian millionaires use e-mails like this one to assist with transferring funds overseas. The recipient of this e-mail became extremely rich

Nigeria is run by a series of Military Heads of State, whose reigns typically follow the following pattern. First, the leader accumulates vast amounts of wealth via 419 spamming. Then, the leader either locks up their wealth in foreign accounts (but forgets to give their family the money to pay the access fee), or stores it inside Nigeria's state banks. Next, the leader is invariably overthrown by the next Military Head of State. The family, naturally, urgently wishes to flee the country, and may need the assistance of a foreigner to help them get their assets out. Prominent leaders of Nigeria dispatched this way include the late Sani Abacha, Gen. Mobutu Sese Seko, and many others. if white instead of taxes you give goverment bank accont acses

Technology sector

Nigeria has an extensive technology sector. The biggest business sector in Nigeria is online financial re-allocation. Many wealthy countries such as Britain often have large sums of unclaimed money. Nigerians are typically employed to re-allocate millions of dollars to lucky Americans via email for a 100,000$ (ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SMACKEROOS) bank fee. Prince Okambo Magoma is a great benefactor for the tech industry. In fact, He has recently created an email research center in downtown Abuja...

The country code of Nigeria is "419".

Religion

The Church of Western Union is the main religion in Nigeria where 95.3% of the population follow this religion. The Church of Western Union play an important role of Nigerians' daily life where people worship their God in cyber cafes. In Nigeria, the number '419' symbolizes the God of the country and every household has number 419 picture.no

Imports

Nigeria major import is electronic bank transfers using Credit Card details you gave to your local garage. Your garage might seem friendly at first but once you get to Nigeria you notice how many people are using your money to buy themselves a banana. They also illegally import soiled female hygiene products and tuna from anonymous sports presenters at the BBC. The Nigerians make a special stew which they call Bloody-Rag Tuna Surprise and chips, which they believe creates special flatulence which helps them to insulate their newly built igloo.

Pax Nigeriana

Pax Nigeriana is the emergence of Nigeria as a formidable power. With a population of 140 million, 2 in 12 (1 in 6 - factorise properly you bitch) Africans are Nigerian. Nigerians are known for their light Caucasian complexion and blend nicely with the British. It has long been rumoured that England is in fact the true location of Nigeria.

Nigerian History

Nigerian history is most commonly documented first hand, and archived by circulating millions of emails to people in the free world. Nigerian historians are known for their huge monetary expenses, and the need to transfer funds into Western bank accounts, usually through Western union.

It is a well known fact that Nigeria is currently building on its relationship with Wales, and that they are preparing for war. This upcoming war, the Welsh-Nigerio war (aka. WW3) will see this alliance of the world's most powerful two countries gaining global control of the tinned tuna market. According to key information given by Nigeria's political correspondent Tom Hanks, that after their takeover of the world the Welsh-Nigerio alliance intends to start a chain of fast-food restaurants around the world. This chain under the name of "Dafydd Omolopo's good Nigerian food" will sell the already popular hybrid of Wales and Nigeria's famed foods Black pudding and fufu. It is estimated that this chain will earn approximately 86000 UGD per year.

While Nigeria itself doesn't have electricity, the country still is capable of using electrical goods, as all Nigerian bibles come complete with a plug socket built into the back cover. This enables Nigerians to run electrical goods from their blind faith, by connecting their appliance to the bible.

Nigeria is also well known for its high turnaround of deceased royalty and businessmen, all who happen to die in tragic circumstances and fail to leave wills or notes to their left of kin behind. As of the writing of this article, Nigeria has run to 42,978,341 separate royal dynasties in 50 years and the average Nigerian business elects a new CEO on emergency session every 6 hours.

It is customary for Nigerian men to jump over cows before they get married. Depending on how many cows they jump over will result in how good looking their wife is. Currently the record is held by oku!de (pronounced oku"click" de). oku!de jumped over 9 cows and has the most attractive wife in his village.If jumping over cows is not someone's specialty, then the men can fight a lion, however such an incident has never been recorded in Nigeria 3 year history

See Also

External links

  • Esenam Ayele - Wishes to share his millions with the rest of the world, but is having trouble getting takers.
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