From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Nicklas Bendtner, better known as Lord Bendtner, The Lord, simply Lord, or unofficially The Wolf of Wolfsburg is a Danish Football player who currently plays for VfL Wolfsburg and the Denmark National Football Team.
Generally regarded by many of his fans as "the best player in the history of the game", Bendtner possesses a confidence as big as his height. As a professional Football player, Lord Bendtner plays as a Centre Forward and as result, has had many opportunities to score goals for the various teams fortunate enough to afford his lordship. Luckily for his rival teams, Lord is a merciful being and decides to miss clear and easy goals in an effort to not hurt his opponent's feelings.
Among the clubs the Lord has played for include Birmingham City, Sunderland, Arsenal, and Juventus. His time at Juventus was quite special for a Centre Forward, for the Lord played with the Serie A side for one year and did not managed to score a single goal, yet managed to win the Serie A title on that same year. This great attainment by the lord managed to garner him great praise from his fans. Yet, at the same time, invited envy from players such as Italian legend, Francesco Totti, who has only won one Serie A title in his 20-year career, an accomplishment Lord Bendtner managed to do in one year without even having to score a single goal.
At the international level, Lord Bendtner has had great success with the Danish national team. Currently, his lordship is the seventh all-time top goal-scorer for Denmark in its history. If these accomplishments weren't enough for the Lord, he has also managed to score out of the field. Lord Bendtner has dated Danish royalty Caroline Luel-Brockdorff, and currently dates Danish TV star Julie Zangenbergf since 2011.
Lord Bendtner has made a perpetual impact on almost every team he has exercise his great talent on. He has won 3 consecutive titles with Juventus, Arsenal, and most recently the Lord has given Wolfsburg its first German Cup in its history. In the 2012-13 season, Lord helped Juventus win the Serie A, the next year Lord aided Arsenal win the 2013-14 FA Cup, and on his debut year, Lord Bendtner helped Wolfsburg win the DFB-Pokal for the 2014-15 season. The reason for his frequent moves to various Football clubs is not yet clear. Nevertheless, rumor has it that Lord wishes to spread his talent and grace to other teams around Europe, and his titles are proof that fuel such rumors.
edit Individual Awards & Theft
In addition to winning many titles at the club level, Lord Bendtner has won many awards at the individual level as well. In 2004, the Lord won the Danish Under-17 Player of the Year, in 2007 he won the Danish Talent of the Year, and in 2009 he won the Danish Football Player of the Year. Unfortunately for the world and those that love the beautiful game, Lord Bendtner has been robbed off from many if not all Ballon D'Or awards granted by FIFA. As evidence of such theft, in 2015 the FBI uncovered the wide-spread corruption in FIFA, and it is highly likely that among the affected individuals of such corruption is Lord Bendtner. Suspecion of such corruption rose when Lord Bendtner did not win the 2010 FIFA Balon D'Or award, an award given to the year's best Football player in the world. Pundits and fans began to suspect corruption after the Lord modestly admitted to believing he was "the best player in the world in a 2010 interview. Three years later, in 2013, Lord admitted to be contemplating moving to either Real Madrid F.C. or FC Barcelona; Football clubs widely known as harboring and signing the best players in the world.