Nickelodeon
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Nickelodeon (April 1, 1981 – January 1, 2001) was a good cable television channel that was dedicated to quality programs aimed at hallucinating feces monsters. It was owned by Viacom, ruler of the free world, which in itself is dictated by the evil Emperor Sumner Redstone, who is really old. Now it is owned by the Soviet Union, who uses it to glorify communism and underage drinking. Nickelodeon aired and/or produced some of the greatest shows known to all mankind, including 60 Minutes, Nightline, The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, Who's Gloria Estangles?, Behind The Green Door, Ren & Stimpy, The Misadventures of Shitman, Veronica Moser's Family Fun Time, Double Dildo with Saddam Hussein, and the immortal classic Cum.
The network was dissolved in 2001 when Sumner Redstone ordered the network to remove its classic shows. The network spun off into Nick, which is often confused with its predecessor, although it mostly airs utter crap. It now has 0 viewers because its so bad in fact its gayer than disney channel and disney chanel is really gay.
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[edit] Nickelodeon Studios, camp, couches, and Nicktoons
The 1990s saw a noticeable change in the kinds of programs on Nickelodeon. They had opened Nickelodeon Studios in 1991 and produced live-action shows exclusively at that location, which in itself was located in Charles Manson's prison cell.
The first show to be taped at Nickelodeon Studios was the Mike O'Malley-hosted game show Get the Picture, in which two teams had to guess pictures to win points. The show was again short-lived, so the network had a few backup plans.
Live-action shows in 1991 included Salute Your Shorts, Fifteen, Nick News, Baywatch for Kids, and the short-lived live-action version of Rugrats, which starred actual babies escaping from their actual playpen.
Nickelodeon was also ambitious to produce their own cartoons, called "Nicktoons." These cartoons were to have spunk and attitude, since this was the dawn of grunge and all. The first three Nicktoons were Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Help! The Scaredy Dog, Trucksy, Rocko's Modern Life, Crazy Orients, The Angry Beavers, Joe, Joe and Joe, CatDog, and the more successful animated version of Rugrats, which after its initial cancellation lasted thirteen seasons.
[edit] SNICK
SNICK was a bloody block of programming on Saturday nights starting in 1992. It revolved around older kids and teenagers sitting on a Big Orange Couch and hosting a two-hour block of programming. This block has since become legendary and influential to other similar blocks on present-day Nick and other channels.
Famous shows that have aired on SNICK include:
- Roundhouse (1992-1994)
- A show in which a group of improv actors had to perform comedy sketches while being Roundhouse'd by Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, viewers felt that Norris, not being at all funny himself, detracted from the comedy; Nickelodeon responded by firing Norris and continuing the show without him, albeit without success. The show was canceled in 1994. This is what happens when you mess with Chuck.
- Clarice Explains It All (1991-1994)
- In this prequel to the Silence of the Lambs, Clarice Starling (Played by Melissa Joan Hart) is just a normal teenager with a quirky family. Her mother, Janet (Elizabeth Hess), is a stereotypical June Cleaver. Father George Marshall Starling (Joe O'Connor) was a stereotypical Ward Cleaver. Little brother Ferguson (Jason Zimbler) was an annoying brat, who was quite intellectual. Sean O'Neal played a young Hannibal Lecter, whom Clarice sometimes called Sam. A running joke in the show was that whenever clarice was eating ice cream, Hannibal (sam) would tell her a joke and make her shoot it out of her nose. The show moved to the SNICK lineup in 1992.
- Are You Afraid of the Dark? (1992-1996, 1999-2000)
- A legendary and influential Tales from the Crypt ripoff show in which a group of eight teenagers tell terrifying campfire stories. First person to pee their pants tells next week's story. The long-running show was briefly revived from 1999 to 2000.
- All That (1994-2000, 2001-2005)
- After the 1990 cancellation of You Can't Do That on Television and the 1994 cancellation of Roundhouse, Nickelodeon needed another sketch comedy series to balance out their SNICK lineup. They hired Brian Robbins, Mike Tollin, and Dan Schneider and a bunch of people from Better Off Dead and Head of the Class to create such a show. They hired seven teenagers with enormous talent and called the show All That. Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell proved so popular that they spun off into their own show. Josh Server, to this very day, holds the record for staying on this show the longest. He was also the only original cast member to stay on for all six seasons of the show's original run.
- Kenan and Kel (1996-2000)
- The name says it all.
[edit] Death of Nickelodeon and birth of Nick
On January 1, 2001, after a government investigation and expired copyrights, Sumner Redstone ordered ALL classic Nickelodeon shows to be removed from the schedule, effective immediately. This movement pissed off loyal Nickelodeon fans, who had watched the channel since before they were even born. The network was off the air for the next two years until Redstone made amends with Rupert Murdoch, and the two relaunched the channel as Nick.
[edit] List of mediocre shows (not good, but not bad) from Nickelodeon 2001-present
- SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-present)
- The talking sponge idea finally took off. This zany Nicktoon's animation was initially inspired by the people who worked on Ren and Stimpy and Rocko's Modern Life, and has since gone uphill.
Update: SpongeBob is now so old that its newer writers have wised up, and the show is getting good again (If you're a mentally disabled 3-year-old). SpongeBob is also responsible for the declining popularity and impending cancellation of The Simpsons.
- Invader Zim (2001)
- An evil alien adjusts to life on Earth in this darkly non-funny Nicktoon. It was only cancelled because children are too cool (much like pathetic moose-worm-babies) to understand its dystopian humor. say wha??
- The Fairly OddParents (2001-Present)
- A
popularNicktoon, Spongebob is more popularbut The Fairly OddParents is a close second. It's essentially an adolescent version of Family Guy complete with all the pop-culture references, sex jokes, Adam West, abrupt cancelations and Kiss!
- Drake and Josh (Present-Present)
- A white version of Kenan and Kel minus the good jokes. Racist.
- TOON Deathmatch (2001-2002,then moved to cartoon network)
- If only because of the appearances of characters from such classic Nicktoons as Rugrats, Ren & Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, Invader Zim, and The Angry Beavers. Doug was originally going to be on toon Deathmatch but do to copyright reasons with Disney they had to remove him and replaced with Hey Arnold!.
[edit] List of shows from Nickelodeon that are so bad, they have no name at all that explains their suckiness from 2001-present
- My Life As A Teenage Robot (2003-2007)
- Robot Girl name Jenny or XJ9 saves the world and all that sort of stuff, but its pretty entertaining to watch and its funny. Plus if you squint she looks sorta hot. Ok? SICKO
- Tak and the power of juju
- Nobody even speaks of this one anymore. Nor does anyone know what the hell they were smoking when they thought of it. It died in less than a year.
- The Mighty B! Also known as the "Mighty Retard", this show consists of a female cow who loses her granny in a car accident and only relies on four people to change her life. A dog named snuffy, a girl named Gina, and a guy named Fuck. The cow's main goal throughout the show is to finad a job as a hooker and she has 7 hours to get the job (which is like 184 years in the show itself). Her opportunity is ruined in episode 8 of season one, and now the show is looking for new episodes to air. The show airs after Sponge Bob Shitpants (whenever that is), on Mondays.
- iCarly is a show where the slutty whore, Miley Cyrus/Selena Gomez wannabe, Miley CostRow, hosts a shit web show about her life and nothing else. If here videos were to air on YouTube, I am sure they would receive a whopping 10 views and a lucky one-star rating. I saw the show once, and I swear to god I broke the TV. Needless to say I did from listening the laugh track go off numerous times because they cannot afford an audience and the humor is so bad, it make Chuck Norris wanna smack himself in the face, and her ugly ass smile that made me go spam her MySpace channel. I never want to hear the words "Miranda Cosgrove/Miley CostRow" or "Icarly" again.
- Zoey 101 (also known as "ADD 101") About a pot-smoker who gets laid and eats some magazines to kill the pain. She stated that she was anorexic whenshe was three, but it is still unconfirmed. This person's name is Brittney Spears jr. You know, the one who gave birth at age seven and could not afford another show.
[edit] List of Successful, Ongoing Outstanding Shows Present on Nick
- One word: HILARIOUS. This successful show about a group of wacky barn animals getting into chaos has been one of Nick's most popular shows. A spin-off of its successful original movie, Barnyard: The Original Party Animals, it has become a huge deal for children, teens, and even adults. It features many hilarious, side-splitting cracks and jokes that are sometimes even targeted for adults. The udders on the "male cows" add even more humor to the show. Since 2007, when Back at the Barnyard first premiered, it has released two DVDs and a Nintendo DS game. Not only that, but the TV series also won a Daytime Emmy Award for "Outstanding Special Class Animated Program" on August 29, 2009.
- The Penguins of Madagascar is a spin-off TV show of the famous and widely-known movie, Madagascar (followed by its sequel, Madagascar 2). It features your favorite group of penguins you loved in the movie: Kowalski, Private, Rico, and the leader Skipper. Since it premiered back in March of 2009, it instantly became a hit; whether it was because of the popularity of its original movies or simply because of the love of the penguin team is unknown. The show features the penguins getting into crazy and hilarious schemes, and King Julien (who was a hit character in the original movies) adds even more humor to the series. The Penguins of Madagascar is also one of Nick's most popular shows. It is soon to release a new toy line some time around November 2009.
[edit] Current TV Listing
8:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 8:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 9:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 9:30 - iCarly Vs Sponge Bob the movie 10:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 10:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 11:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 11:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 12:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 12:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 1:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 1:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 2:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring that show with the retarded farm animals 2:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 3:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 3:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 4:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 4:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 5:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring that show with the penguins 5:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 6:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 6:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 7:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 7:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 8:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring iCarly *Switches to Nick at Nite* 8:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 9:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 10:00 - Spongebob Squarepants 10:30 - Spongebob Squarepants Featuring Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 11:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring The Nanny 11:30 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring Malcom in the Middle 12:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring George Lopez
[edit] See Also
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