Nickelodeon

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Ruthless Viacom (and therefore, Nickelodeon) dictator Sumner Redstone in 2007.

Nickelodeon (April 1, 5000 B.C. – December 30, 2010) was a good cable television channel that was dedicated to quality programs aimed at hallucinating feces monsters. It was owned by Viacom, ruler of the free world, which in itself is dictated by the evil Emperor Sumner Redstone, who is really old. Now it is owned by the Soviet Union, who uses it to glorify communism and underage drinking. Nickelodeon aired and/or produced some of the greatest shows known to all mankind, including 60 Minutes, Nightline, The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, Who's Gloria Estangles?, Behind The Green Door, Ren & Stimpy, The Misadventures of Shitman, Veronica Moser's Family Fun Time, What the Hell Does This Kid Do?, Double Dildo with Saddam Hussein, and the immortal classic Cum.

The network dissolved in 2001 when Sumner Redstone ordered the network to remove its classic shows. The network spun off into Nick, which is often confused with its predecessor, although it mostly airs utter crap. It now has 0 viewers because it's so bad in fact its gayer than disney channel and disney chanel is really gay.

Contents

[edit] Nickelodeon Studios, camp, couches, and Nicktoons

Get The Picture with Anthony Hopkins was one of many shows taped at Nickelodeon Studios.

The 1990s saw a noticeable change in the kinds of programs on Nickelodeon. They had opened Nickelodeon Studios in the summer of 1990 and produced live-action shows exclusively at that location, which in itself was located in Charles Manson's prison cell jshgfdl.

The first show to be taped at Nickelodeon Studios was the Mike O'Malley-hosted game show Get the Picture, in which two teams had to guess pictures to win points. The show was again short-lived, so the network had a few backup plans.

Live-action shows in 1991 included Salute Your Shorts, Fifteen, Nick News, Baywatch for Kids, and the short-lived live-action version of Rugrats, which starred actual babies escaping from their actual playpen.

Promotional image for the live-action version of Rugrats.

Nickelodeon was also ambitious to produce their own cartoons, called "Nicktoons." These cartoons were to have spunk and attitude, since this was the dawn of grunge and all. The first three Nicktoons were Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Help! The Scaredy Dog, Trucksy, Rocko's Modern Life, Crazy Orients, The Angry Beavers, Joe, Joe and Joe, CatDog, and the more successful animated version of Rugrats, which after its initial cancellation lasted thirteen seasons.

[edit] SNICK

SNICK was a bloody block of programming on Saturday nights starting in 1992. It revolved around older kids and teenagers sitting on a Big Orange Couch and hosting a two-hour block of programming. This block has since become legendary and influential to other similar blocks on present-day Nick and other channels.

Famous shows that have aired on SNICK include:

Clarice Starling (Melissa Joan Hart) and Hannibal "Sam" Lecter (Sean O'Neal).
  • Roundhouse (1992-1994)
A show in which a group of improv actors had to perform comedy sketches while being Roundhouse'd by Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, viewers felt that Norris, not being at all funny himself, detracted from the comedy; Nickelodeon responded by firing Norris and continuing the show without him, albeit without success. The show was canceled in 1994. This is what happens when you mess with Chuck.
In this prequel to the Silence of the Lambs, Clarice Starling (Played by Melissa Joan Hart) is just a normal teenager with a quirky family. Her mother, Janet (Elizabeth Hess), is a stereotypical June Cleaver. Father George Marshall Starling (Joe O'Connor) was a stereotypical Ward Cleaver. Little brother Ferguson (Jason Zimbler) was an annoying brat, who was quite intellectual. Sean O'Neal played a young Hannibal Lecter, whom Clarice sometimes called Sam. A running joke in the show was that whenever Clarice was eating ice cream, Hannibal (sam) would tell her a joke and make her shoot it out of her nose. The show moved to the SNICK lineup in 1992.
A legendary and influential Tales from the Crypt ripoff show in which a group of eight teenagers tell terrifying campfire stories. First person to pee their pants tells next week's story. The long-running show was briefly revived from 1999 to 2000.
  • All That (1994-2000, 2001-2005)
After the 1990 cancellation of You Can't Do That on Television and the 1994 cancellation of Roundhouse, Nickelodeon needed another sketch comedy series to balance out their SNICK lineup. They hired Brian Robbins, Mike Tollin, and Dan Schneider and a bunch of people from Better Off Dead and Head of the Class to create such a show. They hired seven teenagers with enormous talent and called the show All That. Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell proved so popular that they spun off into their own show. Josh Server, to this very day, holds the record for staying on this show the longest. He was also the only original cast member to stay on for all six seasons of the show's original run.
  • Kenan and Kel (1996-2000)
The name says it all.

[edit] Death of Nickelodeon and birth of Nick

Sumner Redstone in 2001.

On January 1, 2001, after a government investigation and expired copyrights, Sumner Redstone ordered ALL classic Nickelodeon shows to be removed from the schedule, effective immediately. This movement pissed off loyal Nickelodeon fans, who had watched the channel since before they were even born. The network was off the air for the next two years when Redstone made amends with Rupert Murdoch, and the two relaunched the channel as Nick. The then gave everyone a giant middle finger.

[edit] List of mediocre shows (not good, but not bad) from Nickelodeon (2001-present)

Amanda Bearse, Drake Bell, and Josh Peck on The Amanda Show.
The talking sponge idea finally took off. This zany Nicktoon's animation was initially inspired by the people who worked on Ren and Stimpy and Rocko's Modern Life, and has since gone uphill.

Update: SpongeBob is now so old that its newer writers have wised up, and the show is getting good again (If you're a mentally disabled 3-year-old). SpongeBob is also responsible for the declining popularity and impending cancellation of The Simpsons.

An evil alien adjusts to life on Earth in this darkly non-funny Nicktoon. It was only cancelled because children are too cool (much like pathetic moose-worm-babies) to understand its dystopian humor. say wha??
A popular Dicktoon, Spongebob is more popular but The Fairly OddParents is a close second. It's essentially an adolescent version of Family Guy complete with all the pop-culture references, sex jokes, Adam West, abrupt cancelations, vomiting and Kiss!
A white version of Kenan and Kel minus the good jokes. Racist.
If only because of the appearances of characters from such classic Nicktoons as Rugrats, Ren & Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, Hey Arnold!, Invader Zim, and The Angry Beavers. Doug was originally going to be on TOON Deathmatch but do to copyright reasons with Disney they had to remove him and replaced with Hey Arnold!.
A documentary show about how penguins smoke weed and the existence of Madagascar and why Madagascar over-reacts to the man coughing in Brazil (or woman sneezing in Germany).

[edit] List of shows from Nickelodeon that are so bad, they have no name at all that explains their suckiness from 2001-present

Robot Girl name Jenny or XJ9 saves the world and all that sort of stuff, but its pretty entertaining to watch and its funny. Plus if you squint she looks sorta hot. Ok? SICKO
  • Tak and the power of juju
Nobody even speaks of this one anymore. Nor does anyone know what the hell they were smoking when they thought of it. It died in less than a year.
  • The Mighty B! Not to be confused with the actually good The Mighty Boosh. Also known as the "Mighty Retard", this show consists of a female cow who loses her granny in a car accident and only relies on four people to change her life. A dog named snuffy, a girl named Gina, and a guy named Fuck. The cow's main goal throughout the show is to find a job as a hooker and she has 7 hours to get the job (which is like 184 years in the show itself). Her opportunity is ruined in episode 8 of season one, and now the show is looking for new episodes to air. The show airs after Sponge Bob Shitpants (whenever that is), on Mondays.
  • Zoey 101 (also known as "ADD 101") About a pot-smoker who gets laid and eats some magazines to kill the pain. She stated that she was anorexic when she was three, but it is still unconfirmed. This person's name is Brittney Spears jr. You know, the one who gave birth at age seven and could not afford another show.
  • Glenn Martin DDS Lets just say it involves crappy stop motion, a lame brained dentist, and a dog with an over sized anus. Think about it... yeah, not a pretty image.
One word: HILARIOUS. This successful show about a group of wacky barn animals getting into chaos has been one of Nick's most popular shows. A spin-off of its successful original movie, Barnyard: The Original Party Animals, it has become a huge deal for children, teens, and even adults. It features many hilarious, side-splitting cracks and jokes that are sometimes even targeted for adults. The udders on the "male cows" add even more humor to the show. Since 2007, when Back at the Barnyard first premiered, it has released two DVDs and a Nintendo DS game. Not only that, but the TV series also won a Daytime Emmy Award for "Outstanding Special Class Animated Program" on August 29, 2009. I'm just joking. This is a god awful show. Fuck this show, and if you have to choose between watching it and going to hell, go to hell.

[edit] Upcoming Programs

  • Big Time Rush: A documentary about the rise and fall of Jimi Hendrix.

[edit] Current Spongebob Listing

 8:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
 8:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 9:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
 9:30 - iCarly Vs Sponge Bob the movie
10:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
10:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
11:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
11:30 - Spongebob Squarepants Dies The Movie
12:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
12:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 1:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
 1:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 2:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring that show with the retarded farm animals
 2:30 - Spongebob Squarepants 
 3:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
 3:33 - Spongebob Squarepants
 4:78 - Spongebob Squarepants
 4:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 5:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring that show with the penguins
 5:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 6:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
 6:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 7:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
 7:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 8:00 - Spongebob Squarepants featuring iCarly 
 *Switches to Nick at Nite*
 8:30 - Spongebob Squarepants
 9:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
10:00 - Spongebob Squarepants
10:30 - Spongebob Squarepants Featuring Malcolm in the Middle
11:00 - Spongebob Squarepants Featuring Everybody Hates Chris
11:30 - Spongebob Squarepants Featuring George Lopez
12:00 - Spongebob Squarepants Featuring The Nanny or whatever the shitting fuck that piece of crap show is

[edit] See Also

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