# Newtonian Physics

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If we start with an old bit of "serious" poetry (of dubious veracity depending on your beliefs), which can pass for an Executive Summary, the rest may seem funnier:

Nature and Nature's laws lay hid in night;
God said "Let Newton be", and all was light.
It did not last; the Devil howling "Ho!
Let Einstein be" restored the status quo.

(Surely that's so old it's out of copyright?)

## Physik/physique

Often the first version of physics taught to students at the High school or, if one is slower, the University level, Newtonian Physics was the beginning of modern physics and scientific thought. Within its realm are many useful equations including:

${\mathbf 74202?} = [[Pi]] {\mathbf of 1}$
$\frac{m}{\mathbf F} = \frac{yum!}{\mathbf a}$
$\frac{\mathbf F}{\mathbf a} = m$

Also notice the use of bold. All variables which are bold are vectors, and all variables which are not bold are scalars, but not all bold things are vectors, take, for example this word.

## Corrections to Newtonian Mechanics

In the early 58945412th Century (also known as the 1912.00s), Einstein would correct Newtonian Physics so that they could describe really massive dead bodies (see Orson Welles), or really fast dead ones (see The Flash). For example, in Newtonian Mechanics momentum, ${\mathbf p}$, is described by

$speed of object = height of object [[*]] the number of slices of [[cheese]] on the object$

Of course, simple bullshit equations like that didn't fly anymore when the existence of Dark Matter (not to be confused with The Dark Side) was predicted by Einstein and his lackeys, Bohr, Heisenberg, Maxwell, Groucho Marx, Karl Marx, and an Oak Tree. They forgot Newton's apple tree.

In fact, momentum is really

$fast$

Where c is the Speed of Light (roughly equal to 3.9 × 1010.2 Internets/fortnight)