Newton's laws of motion

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{{Q|Up and Down motion creates [[semen|white lotion]]|Newton| his final theory and only triumph over Einstien, who claimed it was side to side.}}
 
{{Q|Up and Down motion creates [[semen|white lotion]]|Newton| his final theory and only triumph over Einstien, who claimed it was side to side.}}
[[Image:Football-02.gif|right|thumb|These athletes demonstrate Newton's laws of motion]]
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{{wikipedia}}
'''Newton's laws of motion''' were developed by Newton. That is why they are called ''Newton's'' laws of motion. These laws revolutionized the world of [[physics]]. Before Newton's laws, physics were in a state of [[anarchy]]. Things tended to speed up and slow down at random intervals, stuff reacted all by itself and toast always fell butter side up. Sometimes apples didn't fall from trees at all. They would float off the branches and hover in midair, or launch spontaneously into outer-space, never to be seen again. Thank God that one particular apple decided to fall straight down onto Newton's dome.
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'''Newton's laws of motion''' were developed by [[Isaac Newton]], which may be why they are called ''Newton's'' laws of motion. These laws revolutionized the world of [[physics]]. Before Newton's laws, physics were in a state of [[anarchy]]. Things tended to speed up and slow down at random intervals, stuff reacted all by itself and toast always fell butter side up. Sometimes apples didn't fall from trees at all. They would float off the branches and hover in midair, or launch spontaneously into outer-space, never to be seen again. Thank God that one particular apple decided to fall straight down onto Newton's dome.
   
 
Unfortunately, after developing some very useful "Laws", Newton went on to invent some really disgusting cookies. For this, he was executed by William Tell.
 
Unfortunately, after developing some very useful "Laws", Newton went on to invent some really disgusting cookies. For this, he was executed by William Tell.
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Some lawyers say that Newton´s Laws are very soft in his punishment of criminal objects. For example, if a ball hits an old woman, it is punished with five eons in a Wal-Mart.
 
Some lawyers say that Newton´s Laws are very soft in his punishment of criminal objects. For example, if a ball hits an old woman, it is punished with five eons in a Wal-Mart.
   
See Also: [[Apples]]
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==Newton's laws==
 
 
We briefly summarize Newton's laws.
 
We briefly summarize Newton's laws.
   
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:'''Newton's negative first law:''' Newton was the first human to own a death note. His shinigami was responsible for dropping that apple on his head.
 
:'''Newton's negative first law:''' Newton was the first human to own a death note. His shinigami was responsible for dropping that apple on his head.
 
:'''Newton's zeroth law:''' Regardless of your speed and acceleration, Gary Oak will always be at least one step ahead of you.
 
:'''Newton's zeroth law:''' Regardless of your speed and acceleration, Gary Oak will always be at least one step ahead of you.
:'''Newton's first law:''' We do not talk about Newton's laws of motion. and just to let you know, Newton loves everyone even you, well maybe not you but other people.
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:'''Newton's first law:''' We do not talk about Newton's laws of motion.
 
:'''Newton's second law:''' We do not talk about Newton's laws of motion.
 
:'''Newton's second law:''' We do not talk about Newton's laws of motion.
 
:'''Newton's third law:''' For any action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, only opposite.
 
:'''Newton's third law:''' For any action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, only opposite.
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:'''Newton's eighth law:''' There is no Newton's ninth law of motion.
 
:'''Newton's eighth law:''' There is no Newton's ninth law of motion.
 
:'''Newton's ninth law:''' Yes there is.
 
:'''Newton's ninth law:''' Yes there is.
  +
[[Image:Football-02.gif|right|thumb|These athletes demonstrate Newton's laws of motion]]
 
===Newton's Other Laws===
 
===Newton's Other Laws===
 
During his career, Newton developed other laws of physics which did not achieve the same level of popularity as the first four. These included:
 
During his career, Newton developed other laws of physics which did not achieve the same level of popularity as the first four. These included:
 
:'''Newton's ninth law:''' Misplaced objects are increasingly difficult to find in proportion to their importance.
 
:'''Newton's ninth law:''' Misplaced objects are increasingly difficult to find in proportion to their importance.
:'''Newton's tenth law:''' fares is best because he has ha reactionS.
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:'''Newton's tenth law:''' A pair of earphones, if left alone for more than ten seconds, will spontaneously tangle themselves.
:'''Newton's most important law: Go to a cliff, go stand at the edge and then make one large step forward
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:'''Newton's most important law: Go to a cliff, go stand at the edge and then make one large step forward.
:'''Newton's tenth law(extension):''' If you run around a tree at double the speed of light then you can see yourself fuck your own ASS.
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:'''Newton's eleventh law:''' If you run around a tree at double the speed of light then you can see yourself fuck your own ASS.
:'''Newton's eleventh law:''' An object in motion in Florida will never use turn signals.
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:'''Newton's twelfth law:''' An object in motion in Florida will never use turn signals.
 
:'''Newton's 36th law:'''If you enter the 36th chamber of Shaolin you don't get to use the other laws.
 
:'''Newton's 36th law:'''If you enter the 36th chamber of Shaolin you don't get to use the other laws.
:'''Newton's twelfth law:''' F=ma (Fame = Money * Aphrodisiomania)
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:'''Newton's thirteenth law:''' F=ma (Fame = Money * Aphrodisiomania)
 
:'''Newton's fifteenth law:''' The later you get home, the more noise you make in the bathroom.
 
:'''Newton's fifteenth law:''' The later you get home, the more noise you make in the bathroom.
 
:'''Newton's nineteenth law:''' Actually, there is no nineteenth law, because Newton forgot to come up with one. But it usually appears in comprehensive lists.
 
:'''Newton's nineteenth law:''' Actually, there is no nineteenth law, because Newton forgot to come up with one. But it usually appears in comprehensive lists.
 
:'''Newton's twentieth law:''' Nobody likes a [[Smartass|smartass]].
 
:'''Newton's twentieth law:''' Nobody likes a [[Smartass|smartass]].
 
:'''Newton's thirty-fourth law:''' If it exists, then there is [[Pawnography | porn]] of it.
 
:'''Newton's thirty-fourth law:''' If it exists, then there is [[Pawnography | porn]] of it.
:'''Newton's infinite-ieth law:''' If there is ever a Newton again, make him sit under a coconut tree and make sure he dies of the coconut falling on his head, even before he thinks of discovering something like gravity
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:'''Newton's 10^99 law:''' I made too many laws
:'''Newton's Ultimate Law:''' No you can't have a perpetual motion machine.
 
:'''Newton's super ultimate uber law:''' Einstein sucks
 
:'''Newton's super ultimate uber fantastical awsome law:''' 2+2=5 blah blah blah blah
 
:'''Newton's 10^99 law: I made to many laws
 
:'''Newton's super ultimate uber fantastical most awsome law:''' Your mom can suck it
 
:'''Newton's super ultimate uber fantastical mostest awesome law:''' It is shiny
 
:'''Newton's Megatastic law:''' If you run around a tree at the speed of light then you can fcuk your ASS while sucking your own junk. Based on this your head would be in your ass while sucking your own junk, which would be in your ass as well. Then you will travel back in time and your ass will be replaced with your head, your head with your junk and your junk with your ass.
 
 
:'''Newton's Shits and Giggles Law:''' Trolls live under bridges.
 
:'''Newton's Shits and Giggles Law:''' Trolls live under bridges.
These laws are a reaction of liam kettles mechanical errectum fusing with newtons fallin apple. creating a strand of upersium dough used in baking kitchen utencils. because of this, liams chode is considered to be too inappropriate for use of reproduction via hand corporation. THis means liam is a bi who likes to feel mens nipples and blasfeen them with sexual non-intercourse.
 
   
 
==See also==
 
==See also==
*[[Angular momentum]]
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*[[Law]]
*[[Isaac Newton]]
 
 
*[[Antifrictional force]]
 
*[[Antifrictional force]]
{{wikipedia}}
 
   
 
[[Category:Classical Mechanics]]
 
[[Category:Classical Mechanics]]

Revision as of 05:56, February 2, 2013

“Up and Down motion creates white lotion
~ Newton on his final theory and only triumph over Einstien, who claimed it was side to side.
Bouncywikilogo2
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Newton's laws of motion.

Newton's laws of motion were developed by Isaac Newton, which may be why they are called Newton's laws of motion. These laws revolutionized the world of physics. Before Newton's laws, physics were in a state of anarchy. Things tended to speed up and slow down at random intervals, stuff reacted all by itself and toast always fell butter side up. Sometimes apples didn't fall from trees at all. They would float off the branches and hover in midair, or launch spontaneously into outer-space, never to be seen again. Thank God that one particular apple decided to fall straight down onto Newton's dome.

Unfortunately, after developing some very useful "Laws", Newton went on to invent some really disgusting cookies. For this, he was executed by William Tell.

Some lawyers say that Newton´s Laws are very soft in his punishment of criminal objects. For example, if a ball hits an old woman, it is punished with five eons in a Wal-Mart.

Newton's laws

We briefly summarize Newton's laws.

Newton's negative second law: Isaac Newton is the only person who was able to travel at the speed of light. Immediately after he did this he bought a chili cheese dog at Barne's and Noble and changed his name to Chuck Norris.
Newton's negative first law: Newton was the first human to own a death note. His shinigami was responsible for dropping that apple on his head.
Newton's zeroth law: Regardless of your speed and acceleration, Gary Oak will always be at least one step ahead of you.
Newton's first law: We do not talk about Newton's laws of motion.
Newton's second law: We do not talk about Newton's laws of motion.
Newton's third law: For any action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, only opposite.
Newton's fourth law: Whenever you're in the fast lane, there will always be some towelhead taxi driver, or bluehair going, like, fifty. The fast lane is for people who want to go fast. The slow lane is for like you.
Newton's fifth law: All object tends to slow down, except for the Energizer Bunny. The Energizer Bunny is exempt from the laws of motion.
Newton's sixth law: The force on an object is the derivative of its linear momentum plus an appropriate frictional constant, whatever that means.
Newton's seventh law: All moving things eventually explode, therefore you're going to explode too. Deal with it.
Newton's eighth law: There is no Newton's ninth law of motion.
Newton's ninth law: Yes there is.
Football-02
These athletes demonstrate Newton's laws of motion

Newton's Other Laws

During his career, Newton developed other laws of physics which did not achieve the same level of popularity as the first four. These included:

Newton's ninth law: Misplaced objects are increasingly difficult to find in proportion to their importance.
Newton's tenth law: A pair of earphones, if left alone for more than ten seconds, will spontaneously tangle themselves.
Newton's most important law: Go to a cliff, go stand at the edge and then make one large step forward.
Newton's eleventh law: If you run around a tree at double the speed of light then you can see yourself fuck your own ASS.
Newton's twelfth law: An object in motion in Florida will never use turn signals.
Newton's 36th law:If you enter the 36th chamber of Shaolin you don't get to use the other laws.
Newton's thirteenth law: F=ma (Fame = Money * Aphrodisiomania)
Newton's fifteenth law: The later you get home, the more noise you make in the bathroom.
Newton's nineteenth law: Actually, there is no nineteenth law, because Newton forgot to come up with one. But it usually appears in comprehensive lists.
Newton's twentieth law: Nobody likes a smartass.
Newton's thirty-fourth law: If it exists, then there is porn of it.
Newton's 10^99 law: I made too many laws
Newton's Shits and Giggles Law: Trolls live under bridges.

See also

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