Newfies bees dee inhabitants of Newfoundland, Canada. Dey bees dee hoserest of hockey loving hosers. If ya know anyting aboot moose, ye should come to St. John's.
Newfies be known for fooking der mudders and drinking Guinness with der by's.
It's a widely known fact that all Newfies are Cheryl Cole's cousins, this is evidented by the adorably pirate-like, incomprehensible way they speak. Some even believe Cheryl actually created Newfoundland and its inhabitants, much as Bjork created the cold little elves of New Bjork City.
The creators of Jersey Shore are hoping to make a series called Newfie Shore.
Newfies are considered a liability to Toronto Dominion Bank but the truth bees that dey are an asset to Canaduh and to dee world and dey bees hard workin' folks.
All newfies who don't lose they virginity beesfore the age of 14 are kicked off The Rock and exiled to British Columbia.
When a newfie turns retirement age he heads back to the rock fer a liver transplant and then heads out to George Street to end it all.
Unlike most other humans, Newfies have a weekly instead of monthly period. This means that Newfies are growing very quickly in population, and soon Alberta, and eventually, the Universe, will be populated only by Newfies and Geordies.
Generally speaking, mating happens after two pints of Guinness have been consumed by each party, and the term "Hows you gettin' on cocky?" has been uddered by the Newfie lass.
Da birf rate in Dildo Newfoundland is pretty low dere b'y cause sumtin keeps gettin in dere before 'er hubby gets 'round to'eet.
Important Note: Never says to a newfie chick "Wanna Gobble da Knob", They may initialy smile atcha, but da minute yee turns yer back *BANG*, she'll 'itcha wit a shuvel.
Recent report coming out of Conception Bay indicate that they are recording no births at all, yet everyone leaving Mary Browns feels pregnant after eating there.
In dees beginnin' God made dee hevinz an dee world. Now dee earth was gettin' formless and empty aye bai, and darkness was over dee surface deep me son? Tundering Jesus' stun breeze was over da water me lad!
He say let there bees light me son! Aye bai, God say you knows yourself me, the light be luh good. Then he cuttin' dee light from the dark, ducky. God called dee light day and dark dee night, gwan bai! Now he havin' a time.