New World Order

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“Where is the old world order?. ”

~ Captain Obvious on obvious

“Would you like to pay cash or by implemented credit chip? ”

~ Oxnard Montalvo on Rockefeller's New World order

“Can I get fries with that? ”

~ Steven Segal on the New World Order

“Islam would be the official religion in the New World Order”

~ Anonymous

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Hanna Montana?

This article documents a current event.

Misinformation may change rapidly.
Use frequent updates to ensure that it remains as outdated as possible.

File:NowHitler.jpg

Even Hitler, along with Hogan, Nash and Hall, was a member of the nWo

The New World Order is a vast and ancient global conspiracy that ultimately aims to unite the world under Neo-Nazi type governments.... actually, no one knows what form their hypothetical government will take. Originally it was called just the World Order but that wasn't good enough for conspiracy theorists so they threw in the word "New" to make it sound better as part of a new age marketing hype that seems to be working now. The New Order was formed after the fall of the Ian Curtis. It will probably be dictatorial with free trade and three branches of government that we will call democracy but actually will only exist so we look good. Fascist yea, but no one cares because it's going to kick ass. Whatever their government will look like, it is certain that they will attain power by encouraging drug use, sexual promiscuity, sexual deviancy, Christianity, free market economics, and nuclear warfare. They will kick your ass should you plot against them. Unfortunately, while this stuff was considered terrifying to 18th-century people, it is pretty mundane by 21st-century standards (a recent USA Today-Fox News poll showed that 63% percent of people don't find any of this particularly frightening, and would actually find any New World Order government a refreshing change of pace. Except non-Aryans would have a tough time fitting in...)

[edit] Problems with the New World Order

There are very few problems that will actually occur. One such problem will be that the government will have to deal with the rebellions that will almost certainly occur. But no matter because with the help of the Martians and a weird race of aliens from the Andromeda Galaxy, they will be decimated with anti-matter weapons.

The only other feasible problem with the NWO is that once the dictators have absolute power, they alone will have to deal with the problems of society. But they will just kill anyone that has problems so the problem will be solved.

[edit] The New New World Order

The New New World Order is un-officially a splinter group from the New World Order. Unofficially, it is one of the New World Order's few successors. It is mostly made up of the younger, more innovative NWO members. The NNWO has had great success recruiting using college fraternities.

Its platform includes a plan to bring about a world revolution through "excessive partying", booze, and huge orgies, and will be led by some drunk that will not even realize what he is doing until the short lived empire falls. And let me tell you, it will fall fast once the original and more powerful NWO finds out about it.

The NNWO, however, is doomed to suffer the same fate as the Fascism countries of WWII. In the mean time the NNWO members enjoy submitting propaganda web sites to Digg and Reddit in order to fool us all into their way of live and indoctrinate everyone else into the NNWO.

The NNWO is run by George Soros while the NWO is run by David Rockefeller, which is the real reason why the NWO and the NNWO haven't taken over the world yet, because they are polarized into a right and left wing, much like the USA and other nations are as well. The Left Wing is run by George Soros who employs Liberals to write blogs, Wikis, and news articles using propaganda to manipulate people via fear of Global Warming, Peak Oil, and the NWO and Neocons, so they'll buy more things and make them rich. The NWO is run by David Rockefeller who uses corporations and Fox News and Neocons to create propaganda about Liberals and Terrorists in the NNWO to manipulate people with fear so they'll buy things and make them rich. So basically both parts blame the other part and then use that fear to make more people buy their products to get rich. Which is, of course, part of the NWO/NNWO business plan, which works great, except for the taking over the world part, which does not work so great. Hitler was one of the gayest anti jewish men. Hitler loved to suck on gigantic black cock.

[edit] Membership Roll of the New World Order

Click here for a full list of membership in the NWO but the abbreviated list includes Corporations, Non-Profit Organizations, Political Groups, Individuals, Bastard Children, and more. The NWO keeps growing, but work on an org chart is in progress as we speak.

The list is rather long, so we decided to list the people that are not on that list, which includes <insert name here>, that will be all. YOU SUCK ASS..!!

[edit] Does the New World Order exist?

A lot of conspiracy theorists claim that the New World Order exists and have written a lot of books and websites on it. Some argue that these conspiracy theorists are scam artists who invented the New World Order just to make a lot of money on books, movies, TV shows, and advertising on web sites that talk about the New World Order. That it does not exist and was created by scam artists to make a lot of money off of gullible people. That the list above of New World Order members are either incompetent or work against each other so much that there is no way a true New World Order could even exist. Conspiracy Theorists scholars like Osama bin Laden claim that the New World Order is real, just buy the book "Rogue Nation" written by his personal friend Clyde Prestowitz to learn the truth. Then read "Prison Planet" by his other good friend Alex Jones, and watch Fahrenheit 911 by his other good friend Michael Moore and keep on reading those web sites put out by his other good friends in Al-Qaida and others who are Liberal terrorists who write blogs and submit them to Digg and Reddit for proof that a New World Order exists.

After all, Adolph Hitler claimed that a Jewish New World Order existed in 1931, and used basically the same conspiracy theory to rise to power in Germany via fear he put into people via propaganda that their governments were secretly plotting against their people in Europe, Asia, and Africa led by this New World Order. That went quite well, didn't it? Until the New World Order of the USA, UK, Russia, France, and other allies foiled Hitler's plans because Hitler allied up with Radical Muslim Terrorists who believed that a New World Order had existed, and as a legacy Osama bin Laden wants to expose the New World Order and take off where Hitler left off.

Actually the New World Order conspiracy defies logic, is based mostly on hearsay, rumors, opinions, gossip, propaganda, and a very smart and well thought out marketing and public relations plan that has made Conspiracy Theorists very wealthy, and became the richest people on the planet, and formed their own New World Order and are doing everything they claimed the New World Order would have done anyway. Sheiks in the middle-east, Secular Humanists in Europe, and even Communists have gotten very rich by promoting this New World Order conspiracy for the past fifty years or so. All they had to do was fool people into thinking that their governments were plotting against them as well as major corporations and political leaders, and it made the conspiracy theorists very rich. Richer than Bill Gates, and built Dubai into a floating island paradise with more skyscrapers than New York City and most other major cities combined. Of course while Europe, Asia, North Africa, Canada, and the Middle-East get richer, the USA, Mexico, South Africa, Australia, etc that are supposed to be part of the New World Conspiracy get poorer and their economies break down because their citizens have panicked and created riots and torn their nations apart, accusing each other of being part of the New World Order. Thanks to Digg and Reddit members who are New New World Order members for spreading those New World Order merchandise, blogs, books, movies, news topics, and scamming everyone into buying them with spammy submissions.

Besides David Ikes and Alex Jones claim the New World Order is an alien reptilian race that lives inside of the Earth via the Hollow Earth theory. That they eat people and fly UFOs from a planet named Theegack that look exactly like Boeing DC-8 Airplanes but without the propellers and engines. That their leader Xenu used Psychology to enslave people with by forcing them to watch movies with Tom Cruise and John Travota in them before strapping them over volcanoes and killing them via atomic bombs so they stopped being Thetans and started being Human Beings via shape shifting.

In the 21st century more and more Internet conspiracy theories about the New World Order started to be spread. Business for the New World Order conspiracy theorists began to pick up after 9/11 including the group 9/11 Truthers who worked for Loose Change and pocketed 15 cents for every Internet User who clicked on their link to see the video, and got paid by AdSense by Google who had placed advertisements on their page from where the video was hosted from. Some say these conspiracy theorists like Michael Moore, Alex Jones, and even Rosie O'Donnell actually secretly work for the New World Order and raise money for them selling advertising for New World Order conspiracy videos, movies, blogs, etc.

Clearly by modern business management and the Peter Principle it is practically impossible for a cabal the size of the New World Order to exist. Even if such an organization existed, it would not be capable of running the world, much less even run one nation in the world. We cite as examples the United Nations that cannot get jack-shit done without resorting to bribery and months of debate and discussion and objections, and even then they still manage to fuck things up, so they never actually do anything at all but waste time. The WTO and other global organizations are basically the same. The Peter Principle states that "In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence." and it even applies to management as well. The fact of the matter is that since nobody has experience at running the entire world, nobody is qualified to hold that job. Even if one has experience running a nation as a dictator, that does not qualify them for the job of running the world and they would be incompetent at it. In International Business and Global Management, for example, megacorporations like Sony found out the hard way that they are even not able to run multiple divisions of their company in each nation at a global level. Sony Japan, must be run differently than Sony USA or Sony Europe. Sony Japan, Sony Europe, Sony USA, all have their own CEOs and upper management and their own board of directors but still cannot meet common goals and do things the same way as other divisions. Sony had tried to run everything from Japan, but failed, how could they run the other divisions, how could they make it work? They could not, as there was no real answer, but to run each division separately and hope for the best. Other International Business and Global Managements are run the same way as Sony, but even Sony cannot handle taking over the world. It is just not possible, even Microsoft tried it and failed. QED, based on 21st century business management and International business and Global management, no one single entity can rule the world, even secretly, for they would fail and show a level of incompetence even if they tried it and would honestly lose control. In Psychology you cannot control other people, just yourself, and based on Psychology nobody and no group can control everyone in the world. Only a total and complete moron who thinks with his/her emotions and avoids all logic, and ignores the piles of evidence proving that the NWO does not exist, would actually believe that the NWO does in fact, exist, and controls the world as well. But then the world keeps making new kinds of morons who will believe any conspiracy theory they hear or read about. So this article exists to either prove them all wrong, or show a coverup of the NWO and proof that it really exists... ...IT REALLY EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!