Nevada (state)

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Nevada
''Neo-Babylonian Empire of Nevada'
'


(Flag)	(Coat of Arms)

Motto: Prostitution is legal in Elko

Anthem: Viva Las Vegas!

Capital

Carson City

Largest city

Las Vegas

Official languages

Seduction

Government

Neo-Babylonian Pleasure State

Queen

Whore of Babylon

National Hero(es)

Frank Sinatra, Siegfried & Roy

Declaration
of Independence

31 October 1864

Currency

whore, poker chip

Religion

Sin, Damnation

Population

25.9910

Nevada is a state in western Canada, notable for its allowance of gambling. Although classy East Coast types and Southern rednecks may pronounce it [nəˈvɑdə], down-home western types who attend rodeos know it is pronounced [nəˈvædə], and this convention holds throughout Nevada, Utah, Idaho, and some parts of California. It is for this reason that the new state license plates say "Nevăda."

[edit] Geography

Nevada is notable for being the only state covered entirely in sagebrush, though Utah comes in at a close second with 65% being sagebrush.

Dirt is exceptionally abundant in Nevada. The logically-overlooked state is also rumored to be the second Zion after Utah is destroyed by God. Reno would obviously not be the capital, but is worth mentioning as the city is filled with hookers, pirates, and hooker pirates. Stephen King was also molested by that weird guy from Deliverance in Nevada.

[edit] Cities

Cities in Nevada are varied and unique (but rare), although every slot machine in every gas station has at least 90 slot machines - slot machines actually seem to outnumber humans in most areas. Elko allows both prostitution and gambling, and is also known to be an ETA Basque Terrorist stronghold. In 1903, Oscar Wilde allegedly said "[It is] where a young man's fancy turns to sagebrush-scented sheep." Elko is also well known for its friendly people (well, at least the whores are...the rest no one is too sure about), two-screen movie theater (the largest between Lamoille and Winnemucca!) and annual Handlebar Mustache Convention, also known as "The Buckaroos are done with work for the season and are in town" Day.Las Vegas, the Reno, where you can play Keno at the Casino.Fallon is another town allowing prostitution. It is commonly referred to as the "Green Wave" because all the skanky whores there are sure to make you vomit. Gerlach, where they do the burning man festival thing is chock full of freaks and nutcases and nightwalkers, who mystereously appear at one of the towns' five bars by the hundreds like zombies. Ending the list are Carson City and Virginia City, both chock full of real live cowboys. All the other insignificant towns are either full of prostitutes or Mormon spies from nearby Utah.

[edit] Flora and Fauna

The natural life is incredibly varied. Flora include sagebrush and... well, that's just about it. The whole place is full of sagebrush. 110,567 square miles of Sagebrush and prostitutes. Not exactly beautiful. Plus, all the animals are pimps, coyotes and other desert creatures which will probably kill you. In Las Vegas, you can also find mentally retarded tourists (counting as fauna) who've been sent there by mistake and think they're at Disneyland.

[edit] Halloween/Nevada Day

Halloween and Nevada Day are the same day in Nevada. To celebrate this, the local brothels (whore houses) have specials such as freak nasty lap dance competition and two for one specials. However, the brothels are horribly over priced, so many people "buy" the whores on the street instead. As all the locals say "No pussy's worth that much, even if they test them for HIV/AIDS".

[edit] Nevada #1s!

#1 for most hookers
#1 for most casinos
#1 for most gun violence
#1 for most meth usage
#1 for most freaky-type people
#1 for most drunk driving fatalities
#1 for most prisons
#1 for worst sports team ever
#1 for being 38th on SAT scores

[edit] Prison Population

Carson City alone has 3 prisons. No shit. Every town in Nevada has at least one prison. I guess the residents realised life is better behind bars than on the streets of this shit state.

[edit] The Mob

Back when the mob ruled Nevada, life was good. All you can eat buffets at the casinos for a buck, free parking, cheap Tommy guns. Then MGM Mirage started taking over casinos, and the mob went the way of the dinosaurs. Although the mob still owns the El Dorado and a few other casinos, the damn company chains have taken over most of the state.

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The American Red States AKA Megatexas