Nerd language
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THIS ARTICLE IS EXTREMELY NERDY! UPON READING THIS ARTICLE, YOUR TESTOSTERONE WILL DRAIN OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE!
| WARNING: Partial Bullshit | |
| This article is based on the truth, but contains a fair amount of bullshit as well. The author felt that the truth about Nerd language was funny, but not quite funny enough to stand by itself. If you feel that there isn't enough bullshit here, feel free to shovel some in. (And by bullshit, we mean funny stuff, not incoherent babbling.) | ||
Have you ever wondered what FUCK those strange words meant when you played games online and looked at the chat rooms? Have you ever wanted to know the history behind these fucked up and ridiculous "words"? Here is the ultimate guide to these retarded ass "nerd words".
Contents |
[edit] Chris!
If you ever wonder what you call someone who dies from playing too much videogames, you need to make sure you call them a "chris." you can also call this "pulling a chris." It all started with a kid named Chris Caballero who was basically just this really nerdy mexican kid. One day, he decides to demote himself from "nerdy fatass" to "nerdy fatass pizza-face" and even though his popularity is at 1% he wanted to make it smaller. so he decided to play world of warcraft for 34 hours straight. he was too lazy to get his fat ass up and eat so he died of starvation. If you think about it, it is ironic: the fatass dies from starvation. Chris was a creeper as well. He stalked every girl that was on his friend's myspace buddy list. His own cousin Henry, hates his guts and all he and his friends do is talk shit on him and call him dirty birdie, dukey, and the shitster. Chris became legendary as the beaner who is worth less than a single celled paramesium, and one day saved the garbage man the trouble, and took his own ass down to the dump, and lay there for the rest of his days, playing WoW on a broken computer in a pile of garbage.
[edit] n00b
This word means 'newbie', or the unexperienced. This word was created when two gay nerds were about to butt-fuck each other. One nerd happened to be a level 300 dungeon-master while the other was a loser just starting on counterstrike. While having buttsex with eachother, the level 300 dungeon-master called his partner a n00b because he was too preoccupied to type out newbie or amateur. Because of this, the use of this word causes your testosterone levels to drop by 5% and your asshole to grow 5 millimeters in diameter for each time you say it.
[edit] excelcior!
This word was basically formed when 3 male nerds were playing world of warcraft together and decided they should meet up for a training session one time. However, it turned out to be love at first sight. The guys got out of control and decided to give eachother blowjobs. "excelcior" is the word they shouted out as they orgasmed.
[edit] pwnage
This word is a mutilation of the word 'Ownage', which is pretty damn stupid itself but at least makes the least bit of sense. Pwnage was started by the makers of Supermario who had fucked up the typing and never caught the error. Instead of typing "owned", they typed "pwned", which unwittingly caused millions of nerds and losers to begin saying this in chat rooms and forums. Those who use this word experience a 10% loss of intelligence per usage. The idiots who use it aren't that smart anyway, so it's not much of a loss.
[edit] uber
Quite possibly the most ridiculous word in history and the most embarrassing word to use ever, this word was invented by a team consisting of Stephen Hawkings, Ayn Rand, Bill Gates, every MENSA member (even the dead ones), the top 5 chess players in the world, and the top 5 players of the following games: Halo 2, Diablo 2, Counterstrike, Runescape, Phantasy Star Online, and Dungeons & Dragons. It took 6 months to develop this horrible word, after which the room that the development took place in had to be cleaned of wires, saliva, retainers, suspenders, and semen resulting from the giant gay orgy that occurred after development of the word was done. None of the females were present at this orgy. This word is a perverted version of 'great' or 'mega' and is used as an adjective to describe an event. The use of this word causes your appearance to worsen by 25% per usage, your acne to worsen by 50% per usage, your self-esteem to lessen by 30% per usage, your popularity to lessen by 90% per usage, and the amount of However, Americans have just discovered that 'Uber' is a German word, similar to 'super'.
[edit] l33t
l33t as: Elite=Lite=leet=l33t=l337 or just as normal nerds say 1337 means when a counterstrike nerd gets a headshot with his virtual pixel weapon he has to shout to the microphone: z0mg!!! imah sou 1337!!! It absolutely just means that your a fucking idiot. This word has started when the makers of Star-Wars said: You dont know the power of the dark side. Then the nerd said: But i know the power of da 1337. Everytime nerd says 1337 his virtual penis grows 0.0024cm. After hes penis has growed to 1cm He will start the whole shit virtual penis all from the start to the 1cm end.
[edit] legislation
Due to the hazardous effects of using these words, Congress has decided to make the use of these shitty words illegal. If a person is caught using this language, he/she is susceptible to four years' assraping by Rosie O'Donnell. Extremely violent offenders may receive the death penalty, which would be carried out by strangulation with a controller cord or assassination by Halo 2 rocket launcher. Those not given the death penalty (almost none) will be placed in a recovery program that consists of no internet access, no video games, and nothing to do but play sports, which will kill the rest of them off. We don't need them anyway.
LOL OMG nOOb i uber pwn u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you use one of these words you are just a fucking nerd and everybody would hate you get under a train or killed by a lion who cares?
