Neo-Luddite Dynamite

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A Very Short Story

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edit Stave 1: Introduction

What is the best part of living in a shack outside of civilisation, you ask? Why, fighting wolverines with my sweet pre-industrial nunchucks!


Here we meet Dr. Theodore Kaczynski, former assistant to the professor of mathematics at the University of California, now insane isolated noble savage, as he engages in his special campaign.

Who are you going to mail bomb today, Dr. Kaczynski?


Cquote1.png Whoever I feel like bombing today. GOSH! Cquote2.png


edit Stave 2: The Manifesto

Industrial Society and Its Future


1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy, then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction? It is already happening to some extent in our own society.

2. To those who think that this sounds like science fiction, we point out that yesterday's science fiction is today's fact. The Industrial Revolution has radically altered man's environment and way of life, and it is only to be expected that as
Behold, the future of man.
technology is increasingly applied to the human body and mind, man himself will be altered as radically as his environment and way of life have been.

3. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. The only hope for mankind is to return to his roots; to reclaim his very wilderness.


Liger drawing.jpg


4. Just like this sweet liger I drew yesterday. We should all be wild and majestic. Like a frickin' awesome race of ligers.


edit Stave 3: Karaoke Number

"Your mom goes to UC Berkeley!"


Musical note.png Yeees, he hates technology,

But nooot as much as UC Berkeley.
Stiiill, he hates technology,
Now and Forever.

Musical note.png



The post-civilized world will not miss Karaoke Night.

edit Stave 4: Revolution

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Cquote1.png Yes! DESTROY THE MACHINES! Wipe them off the face of Idaho and the rest of the planet, for this revolution will not be televised! Cquote2.png


Contrary to the hopes of oversocialized leftists, it will not be another French one either.

edit Stave 5: Target: Jon Heder

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"Ugh! Dang it! Someone left a bunch of crap on my front porch!"

. . .

"Oh well, I guess I'll see what's inside."


*opens lid*



*BOOM*




edit Epilogue

Woke Up Dead.
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