Need For Speed

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“Spare change, man?”
~ Oscar Wilde on getting money to play Need For Speed

“My RX-7 can kick Hilton's ass any day. If it had legs.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Need for Speed
NEED FOR WEED!!!!!

Need For Weed

Need for Speed (นี้ดฟอร์สปีด) is a series of first-person, massively multiplayer online role playing game swhere players compete online as characters trying to purchase, steal or transport amphetamines, cocaine, heroine and other illegal drugs for both profit and pleasure.

Need for Speed was released in 1994 as an online, freely available beta from Electronic Arts. EA then switched the game to pay subscription format with a free "restricted version" available from the EA website. This was a widely criticized move as the "Restricted Version" only allowed the users to walk play one level before displaying the credits and crashing the user's computer.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Need For Speed.

There have been 20 games released in the Need for Speed series.


edit Need For Speed (1994)

edit The Beginning

Meth-junkie

Nicole Richie in the 2007 Need for Speed title (title still pending).

After purchasing the game, which currently retails for £73.26 from Target, players make an account with a username and password, and then create their own characters, known as Addicts. After the completion of this task they are transported to a barren cityscape based on the city of Detroit, Michigan. The player has low health and there is no explanation of why he is there. In front of him, lying on the ground, is a note. It informs him of his first mission.

edit Missions

Need4speed

Need For Speed: Bombay (EA)
What could be more fun than racing though Bombay, The capital of bad traffic, in the latest version of need for speed?!

The note asks the player to find an elderly white woman with a cane and "rob that woomun". The player finds the old white woman, beats her into submission, and is rewarded with a gold coin, known as CR, that can be spent for in game items, such as marijuana. The player may then walk through the streets until he finds a dealer. For one gold coin, the player is forced (the only option for the deal is "yes") to accept 3 ounces of Methamphetamine.

This is the first mission. The player is now a second level Addict. Players will be tasked with many subsequent missions, including robbing the house of a rich and prominent aristocrat named Bob Ford. This is a controversial topic, as Bob Ford resembles Rob Ford, being obese, Caucasian, and perpetually sunburnt. Rob Ford issued a statement on July 27, 1995, that was not officially directed at Need For Speed but seemed to be related, due to the following passage: "I am an honest man, and I respect the fact that I am fat and usually high, so realistic depictions of me in video games, art, and literature do not particularly make me angry.". EA has not commented on this.


edit Levels of Addicts

As the player progresses in the game, completing missions, he will attain a higher level.

A level Ten (10) Addict is called a "Denizen of Runescape". Level Twenty (20) Addicts are called "Firefly fans". Level Thirty (30) Addicts are called "Hopeless". Levels 31-59 are impossible to attain, due to the decreased attention spans and degraded work ethic of the developers because they were high. A level Sixty (60) Addict, the highest possible to attain, is known as the "President of the United States".

edit Other Need for Speed Installments

The rest of the Need for Speed games followed the same pattern as the first.

The Need For Speed (1994)

As explained above.

Need For Speed 2 (1997)

Released two years after the first game, it was generally considered to be a graphical improvement of the first, with no real changes in gameplay, besides a slightly different city and new characters. It was released for Playstation only.

Need For Speed 3: Pot Pursuit (1998)

This added two modes to Need for Speed 2, the "Fuzz" and "Addict" modes. In the Fuzz mode you played as a corrupt police officer trying to extort drugs and money out of drug addicts. In the Addict mode, you played as a drug addict against the Fuzz.

Need For Speed: High Stakes (1999)

This was the most popular game in the Need For Speed series in 1994, with over 156,000 registered users, 3,341 of which had bipolar disorder, causing them to register twice. This led to a dispute over the true number of Need For Speed users. EA claimed the larger number, but IGN said that "Based on our sources, the real number is 3,341 less than the EA claimed."

Need For Speed: GHB Unleashed (2000)

This game was a further development of Need For Speed: High Stakes, with better graphics and a wider area. However, due to a sponsorship by the Zetas, a nonprofit drug cartel dedicated to the production and distribution of GHB, the only available drug in the game was GHB. It was described as "Too restrictive."

Need For Speed: Pot Pursuit 2 (2002)

The widely anticipated sequel to the first Pot Pursuit, was viewed as a disappointment by most gamers because it was discovered to be "Need For Speed: Pot Pursuit" in a new package. Despite this, it won Game of the Year in 2002.

Need For Speed: Six Feet Underground (2003)

This was the first Need For Speed game to include a new concept at the time, death. Upon depleting the health bar, players would die, instead of being transported to the ER. Due to the inclusion of death, it was rated Mature 10+. This somewhat narrowed the audience, and was viewed as a bad move.


edit Criticism

The murder rate in a number of US cities shot up to a level never before seen after EA did away with the free beta. Armed robberies doubled in less than two months. The response made Need for Speed responsible for the second worst outbreak of video game related violence, after World of Warcraft. On April 31, one of EA's major spokesmen, Oscar Wilde, issued an apology to the citizens of the U.S., stating in part that "Electronic Arts feels that as a whole, the Need for Speed series has educated hundreds of thousands of people on the evils of the Canadian people... however, there have been unintended consequences , such as the increase in armed robberies in many cities around the globe. We would like to apologize for this, but we would also like to say that there has been a net benefit to the world after the release of Need for Speed. Again, on behalf of Electronic Arts and all their staff, I would like to". At this point, a mildly annoyed marmot was launched at Mr. Wilde by a disgruntled audience member, cutting the press conference short.

The game is also criticized for its depiction of Canadians as weak and easily abused. The only Canadians in the game who are depicted in a strong light are the Quebecois, who are mostly used as slaves and indentured servants to the leaders of the criminal underworld in the game.


The 2014 version of Need For Speed featured many celebrities, available as DLC playable characters, including Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Rosie O'Donnell, Dick Cheney, 50 Cent, Ice Cube, 2Chainz and Justin Timberlake. This was one of the most widely appreciated features of the game, as one review from GameSpot stated: "The addition of playable celebrities into the game has greatly improved it from the marginal Need for Speed: Most Wasted of 2013. There is nothing that gives me a better feeling than getting Paris Hilton totally blasted and having her jump off a bridge. It is a lifelong obsession that I have finally been able to fulfill. 9.5/10."

However, many of the celebrities were outraged at their inclusion in the game, in particularly Dick Cheney and Lindsay Lohan. Their main concerns were the depiction of them as mild drug abusers, which they described as "Way, way, way, way, understated." and the ability of characters to take all their clothes off. This feature was described as "Shockingly accurate."

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