Ne-Yo

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Dynomite

Neyo's school leaving photo as you can see he is DYNOMIIITE!

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ne-Yo.

Shaffer Chimere Smith (born October 18, 1979), better known by his stage name Ne-Yo, is an Asian-American pop and R&B singer–songwriter, record producer, actor, and occasional rapper. He has been fantastically successful for a man with low-level down's syndrome.

edit Music career

Ne-Yo became interested in music after watching Milli Vanilli fail, and decided to fill the Void left by the group. In tribute to Milli Vanilli Ne-Yo was going to perform under the giuse of Winning Without Honour but settled on Ne-Yo as Winning Without Honour was to hard to pronounce do to his slightly annoying speach impediement. in 2006 he releaased his debut album In My Own feaces through independant label "shit Kickers". It sold over 3 copies in the first week and certified "Shite", selling neary 4 copies in America and 6 worldwide. that same day Ne-Yo's single "So Sick (Of Being Black)" reached number 49 in "The Ne-Yo Top 40 Chart".

Ne-Yo is famous for nothing really except for the fact that if you have any ammount of Afro American in you he HAS written a song for you and will write more sometime soon.

His most famous collaboration was with Rihanna during the phase where she was bessoted with cheese he co wrote and sang on the tracks Briehab (your My favourite cheese) and American Singles only.He collaborated with Beyonce on her single Irresponsable and with Craig David on his song Shaven Haven. Ne-Yo has also worked with his Doppleganger Chris Brown, experts in field of music struggle to diffarentiate between the two as they sound exctly the same. (for the complete list of artists worked with see Collaborations).

Ne-Yo's second album was nothing special and didn't chart. The only noteworthy song was his track bein' this shit aint easy nigga'. This track was an epic tail of how its hard growing up black and maintaining his continualy bargain basement standards and questionable dress sense all the while making a fortune from exploiting the terminaly stupid. Even this heroic attempt to ruin music for everyone at music didn't get Ne-Yo in the charts.

His Thrid album titled because of Jews released may 2007 is great succsess among many older Germans due to the slightly anti-Semitic title, but was a commercial succsess among non racists and passive racists alike also. The title track synonymous with this album called Because of Jews is NOT a racist song but is infact a song praising the financial planning skills of the Semitic people. Evidance of this can be found in the line "I Cant liiiiiiiive if Living is without Jews, I cant liiiiiiiiive I cant giiiiive anymoooooore!". It was a huge dancefloor hit in Albania.

Ne-Yo's latest and supposidly greatest album titled Year Of The Wanker was released in 2008. It was on this album that Ne-Yo's horrible Linguistic shortcoming made an unfortunate but undisputidly hillarious apperance. On the track Miss Independant Ne-Yo repeteadly says "Miss Indeeepindee thats why I Love haaah" and it would seem he says "It's Disco taaaahm miss indeeepindee". Other tracks from the album include This things I belive,Siobhan and Im Black, Im Black Im really really Black.

His most recent works are with Polish Dance chart sensation Anastacia, on her song I Can Feel You (When you sleep). it's set for release in 2010.

edit Origins Of The Name Ne-Yo

He garnered the name Ne-Yo while watching the Matrix, proclaiming "I see Music like Neo sees the matrix! as a series of numbers and tubes!". hence he is now refered to as Ne-Yo.

edit Reckless Driving

Car

This man can drive!

Contrary to popular belief its is NOT the title of his 4th album but some bad driving that he went and done.

Ne-Yo was stopped on Route 401 near the town of jeremy Paxman doing over 234mph in his Range Rover,mounting kerbs to kill cats and other things and shitting out his window.

Punishment for the incidant were a fine over Over 9000 Oreos and he had to perform a gig for "The Victims of Road Traffic Accidents and Cross stitching club". Members of the club said "the show was fantastic! we have never seen a black man in real life before!".It was hailed as a succsess.

edit Filmography

Ne-Yo has starred in a few films in his time none were a succsess but he has done acting and thats all that counts.....

  • Black To the Future.
  • Blackie Chan.
  • Caddyblack.
  • Time To die (played the part of Arnold Scwarzanegro)
  • Are we there yet? (played a Tree)
  • Microsoft the musical (played Steve Ballmer)

edit TV shows

  • Ne-Yo presents:Britains Worst Driver.
  • MTV presents: Ne-Yo's Pimp My Wife.
  • Celebrity Soup Kitchen.
  • Ne-Yo's top 10 Worst Road accidents.
  • Ne-Yo loves the 90's.
  • Alien v's Ne-Yo.
  • Guest slot on R-Kelly Live! on CBS.
  • Americas Most Haunted: Hunt for Dan Rather.
  • Ne-Yo's Driving school.
  • Learn To Drive With Ne-Yo.
  • Springwatch: Urban.
  • How To Kill Keith Urban.
  • Guest on Keith Lemons Celebrity Juice.
  • Sing Along With Hitler.

edit Award Nominations

Ne-Yo By anyones standard is a succsessful fellow and as such will be nominated for awards. He was.He Lost all the good ones though.

Ne-Yo

Accepting his "flattest face award", from this angle you can really see the Asian in him

  • NME's gayest hat of the year award (won)
  • Rolling Stone magazine: Outstanding achievement in the field of Dangerous driving (lost to george Micheal).
  • EMA: best male(stripper): Lost to Chris Moyles
  • Worst Song of the decade: (won, Miss Independant)
  • People Magazine's flattest face in Music.(won)
  • Volkswagen's happiest non Homosexual.
  • Rap Music Monthly's Biggest waste of time (won)
  • Top Gears worst driver (won).
  • Least hair on a perfomers head (won)
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