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September 4: Unnecessary Surgery Day
- 30 - The Original Artists release album "20/20: The 20 Greatest hits from the 20's"
- 1427 - Katie Price formed by sending an electric current through plastic. Generally seen to be a lousy idea.
- 2003 - Al Gore has an aditional nose surgically attatched to his back, thus letting him smell his own farts.
- 1834 - Vlad Drakul cancels newspaper subscription.
- 1952 - Colonel Potter tries to take out Lt. Radar O'Riley's appendix, only to discover after making an incision that it's already out.
- 1954 - In the only such instance in recorded history, your mom lost weight.
- 1971 - Elvis gets a paper cut.
- 1972 - Elvis gets a paper clip.
- 1975 - A distant relative of a famous musician accidentally stumbles in front of an oncoming taxi cab, but the car stops, and he survives.
- 1980 - John Denver hits the snooze button.
- 1983 - Michael Jackson nearly dies of food poisoning after eating 12-year-old nuts.
- 1984 - Pop star Prince has a second penis surgically attached. Millions think he's a gimp. Millions more just think it is so he can go and fuck himself. A recent internet video proves this.
- 1985 - Cary Grant finds his bedside table has a small crack on one of the legs.
- 1994 - An Ace Of Base song is released. The subsequent decontamination process takes 15 years to complete.
- 1996 - Pop star Prince (or whatever the fuck he's called now) has a third penis surgically attached.
- 1997 - Prince succesfully sues his surgeon for giving him the penis of an impotent man, claiming it has given his other two penises "performance anxiety". Nobody knows what the fuck he's talking about. Again.
- 2005 - Steve Irwin kills a stingray in a boating accident while 5 times over the drink drive limit.
- 2006 - Steve Irwin is murdered by a stingray. Police say it was an accident and the stingray isn't charged.
- 2050 - Australians finally stop referring to Steve Irwin as a great bloke/battler/fighter/true Aussie and generally agree he was a bit stupid.