From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Narnia? How did you get 'Narnicorn'?

“Narnicorns are nature's candy.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Narnicorns
~ Narnicorn on Oscar Wilde

A Narnicorn.

“Narnicorns eat PEPOLE!”
~ Bob the bulder on Narnicorns

edit About

Narnicorns (Narnicus Cornicus) are Arctic hybrids of Narwhals and Unicorns. Unlike the Narwhal, their horn is located on its forehead, and it has a human nose where the Norwhal's horn should be. Narnicorns eat anything in sight, but it's with one exception of crumpets. When eating them he takes forever to chew. He chews like a retard eating an ear of corn. Narnicorns live to the age of six months, but each human month is but one ten millionth of the superior Narnicorn months.

Narnicorns live in the deep depths of the Arctic Ocean, and are also very common in the North Pole. As everyone believes, Santa drives his sleigh with reindeer. But, in fact, it is driven by Narnicorns. The flying trait and about everything else magical about them comes from their Unicorn mothers. Their horns, and sometimes double-tusks, are from their Narwhal father. But, if a Narnicorn and a unicorn were to breed, they would both explode. And if two Narnicorns were to breed with each other, then they would be gay, because all Narnicorns are males. The only way to make a Narnicorn is to breed a male Narwhal and a female Unicorn. If you breed a female Narwhal and a male Unicorn, you'd get something retarded like a Uniwhal, which is impossible to have, because they don't exist (obviously). That, or a Platypus. You don't want that to happen.


How could you?

They mate with each other by rubbing their horns together, rubbing their magic off of each other, which reaches their magic sacks and making a Narnicorn baby.

Narwhal unicorn

A Narwhal mating with a Unicorn. Hot.

edit Physical Description and Diet

The most conspicuous yet hilarious characteristic of the Narnicorn is its single, very long husk. That's half horn, half tusk. The husk can grow up to 13' 3.7", which is ironic. On rare occasions, the result of the Narwhal and the Unicorn's breeding can result in a Narnicorn with wings. It'll have the long husk, and wings about five feet long each. This happens to about one in 500 Narnicorns. This will automatically happen if the Narwhal knocks up a Unicorn with wings, or a Pegasus.

Narnicorns primarily eat Penguins, seals, bunnies, reindeer, Pokemon, elephant crossbreeds, chipmunks, groundhogs, Big Foot, and especially whatever else it happens to see. It hunts the icy sea looking for convientally placed animals having nothing to do with the Arctic, sneaking up to it with it's magical ninja powers inherited from the Unicorn, stabbing it with his husk, and feeding on the body. Then, the Narnicorn vomits, throws another animal in the vomit, and feasts again. He repeats until he's covered the area. Food is over a third of a day in a Narnicorn's life span. It does other stuff too.

Narnicorn's also are believed to have rainbow powers, but that was proven false in 1976, when a group of scientists (Al Gore, Tom Clancy, and Morgan Webb) captured and documented the Narnicorn and found out that it had no rainbow-like abilities. However, their theory was proven false in 1992, when Mythical Creature scientist, Oscar Wilde, realized that Al gore, Tom Clancy and Morgan Webb didn't catch a Narnicorn, but they actually caught a duck. Nothing close to a Narnicorn, just a duck. Narnicorns can't actually be captured for study. If you do, it may look like a Narnicorn, but it's actually you in disguise. And for the record Narnicorns have rainbow powers.

However, the animals mentioned are but the salad of its real prey. Arctic Starfish. This delicacy is precious to Narnicorns worldwide because the taste of these creatures remind them of the sweet taste of chicken. Almost identical to the narnicorn, if a Star breeds with a fish from the Arctic regions, one in 500 of these Arctic Starfish will be Barbecue flavored. The same will happen if a BBQ Chicken breeds with a Starfish of any type. Narnicorn scientist Bob Saget is extraordinarily interested in everything about Narnicorns , and is opening a small, family restaurant, to later be renamed and franchised as "K.F.S", or "Kentucky Fried Starfish".


An example of a Narwhal and a unicorn, making a Narnicorn. Put into the form of an extremely complicated math equation.

edit Population and Location

Narnicorns are most commonly found in the Arctic Circle. More commonly in the Arctic regions of Russia and Canada. Smack dab in the North Pole, however, they're everywhere. Have you ever been to the North Pole? Because go ahead and prove me wrong. They're there. And they make the Giant Squid hunt look like fried Calamari.

In the entire Arctic Circle, calculations show that they're are 500 Narnicorns per square mile. Narnicorns are migratory species. In December, all of the Narnicorns migrate to the North Pole to join the one's there, to have milk and cookies and drive Santa's sleigh. Which is driven by 1500 Narnicorns. Any that are left behind celebrate Kwanzaa, but they aren't allowed in Santa's workshop.

edit Predation

The one and only predator of the Narnicorn is the deadliest of all the beasts: Man. Humans hunt these poor creatures for their own sick entertainment, and use their disgusting daily jobs. Honestly, we suck. Narnicorns are capable of curing all diseases, but we fail to recognize that.

edit Legends of the Narnicorn

The legend of the Narwhal says a woman with a harpoon got twisted into the ocean onto a Beluga. Actually, that was Hilary Clinton harpooning when Moby Dick just so happened to be filming. Innocent mistake. But in the Narnicorn's case, legend has it that Noah got furious that he let magical creatures onto the arc. He threw the Unicorns and pixie fairies off board, and they collided with a Beluga, creating a Narnicorn. This is just a legend, as books won't tell, anything before the 1800's is a little foggy. Also, Narnicorns may have very well been the cause of the Pegasus-Unicorn War.

Personal tools