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“Modi's opponents should go to Pakistan and help their tourism industry.”
Narendra Modi (born 17 September 1950) is the Prime Minister of India, elected in 2014 after an unprecedented four terms as Chief Minister and social director of the riot-crazy state of Gujarat. His platform is economic development, and to refute the widely held notion that a tea vendor from a family of grocers doesn't belong in government at all.
Despite the usual arranged child marriage, Modi's biographer insists that Modi is a virgin, which many claim makes him the perfect candidate to become prime minister. He loves to eat the traditional Gujarati dhokla and wears the signature Khaki knickers of the region.
Modi is a brilliant orator and is known for devising the Fekasthya oration technique, for which he earned the nickname Feku. However, secular intellectuals throughout India criticise his charm and keep blaming him for random things.
Modi is a member of the BJP, which reveres him as a Hindu nationalist. However, scholars, wise men, and Wikipedians, and certain gifted individuals alike criticise him for the incidents surrounding the 2002 Gujarat riots and for failing to make a significant positive impact upon human development, which everyone knows never results from merely running the fastest-growing state in India.
The reader is surely anxious to learn more. On 27 February 2002, a train carrying many Hindu pilgrims was burned near Godhra, killing 60 people. In the wake of nasty rumours that it was arson by Muslims, citizens throughout Gujarat removed the "Coexist!" bumper stickers from their vehicles and anti-Muslim violence spread throughout the state. The Modi government imposed a curfew and called in the army, but human rights organizations, opposition parties, the media, and other obviously impartial observers all accused Modi of "not doing enough." Amnesty International even went as far as to give Modi its Joe Paterno Award for imperfect prevention. They charge that Modi's decision to move the burned corpses increased the violence. They note that the crowds chanted, "We are rioting and it's your fault!" In 2009, the Supreme Court appointed a Special Investigation Team to investigate Modi's role in fanning the flames, but the Team reported to the court that it did not produce any dirt on Modi, and opponents would simply have to campaign against him normally.
edit 2014 general election campaign
Modi ran for Parliament from the Varanasi constituency. Also the Vadodara, "just in case."
His candidacy was supported by spiritual leaders Ramdev and Morari Bapu, and reportedly by Shiva and Buddha themselves. Economists Jagdish Bhagwati and Arvind Panagariya said they "like the cut of his jib." His detractors included Nobel-winning economist Al Sharpton, who said that although Modi's state has prospered under the slogan "Vibrating Gujarat," prosperity has not been distributed exactly equally, and minorities do not feel safe. He said Gujarat's record in health and education provision has been "pretty bad," a technical term defined in all basic economics texts.
A nation united by virtually nothing, please
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