Namster the Hamster

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Namster in his vampire stage


That fothermucker! He stole my bacon!

~ Shadowmarth on Namster the Hamster


Namster the Hamster is the reincarnation of Ghandi, though sources are lead to believe that he is only 8 years old.

[edit] History

Little is known about the mysterious hamster named Namster. He grew up a very happy hamster with plenty of little hamster friends, good grades, and lots of video games. He was a special boy, as his friends could certainly tell you. Indeed, an ex-friend of his was once quoted as such:

He could make things move without touching them. He could make animals do what he wanted them to, without training them. He could make bad things happen to people who annoy him. He could make them hurt if he wanted to. We all knew he was different, we all knew he was special somehow. Always, we knew there was something different about Namster.

~ Dead Friend

As Namster became older, it became increasingly obvious that Namster's powers were far from holy and good, for his powers hailed from the most dark abyss, and can only be described as "emo l33t powers of doom". Over years of training and harnessing the power of the l33t emo doomness, he slowly became more and more vampire like.

[edit] In His Teens

Namster has always retained a curious obsession for Nintendo. Thus, he created a site called Nwizard.com and cleverly changed his name to Nmaster (did you catch the switch? Did ya?). To the average person, it would just seem that the N stood for Nintendo. However, not everyone was fooled...

His soon-to-be-arch-nemesis Shadowmarth got him to join the Touchds.com forums one day. Namster turned out to have better manipulative powers than his rival however, and quickly launched to moderator status despite Shadowmarth's higher dedication. However, mods "BigNDS" (aka SexCopter) and "DSDude" (aka DSexMachine) were suspicious. They thought, surely, there must be some secret meaning behind Nmaster's "N", besides just "Nintendo".

One day BigNDS confronted Nmaster and called him by his real name, Namster the Hamster. Namster attempted to flee, but DSDude stood in his way. DSdude quickly shoved his dick up Namster's ass and threw him into a boat when he was finished. Namster has not been seen since. His legacy never left the site, however, and many believe he attempted to live on under the alias ShadowRoy to attempt to continue to foil the plots of his nemesis Shadowmarth. His emo 1337 h4x are formidable and the staff has only been able to dispell a few. Rumors abound, some say he created a "Chamber of Emo 1337 Death" somewhere within the code of the site, only to be unleashed by his rightful heir.

[edit] Namster Today

Namster currently resides in Quebec, Canada. He spends his night humbly feeding on the necks of the poor Sony fanboys that he encounters. To date, his victim count is 665. He still maintains his Nintendo website Nwizard, though recent investigation by London police has lead us to believe that this is in fact a front for a much larger underground organization. Looking into FBI records, Namster may have a history tied in with the occult, feeding even deeper into his vampiric fascination with Satan. As it stands, he's disappeared from all public venues as he would normally facilitate, and no one knows where he may strike next.

Goddamn hamsters.

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