Nadine Coyle

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“Great tits”
~ Taha Jabir Alalwani on Nadine Coyle
“She's darker than me!”
~ Oprah on Nadine Coyle
~ Nadine Coyle on Nadine Coyle

Nadine likes to be inconspicous. Fame 'get's me down' she said tearfully to a suspected fan

edit Roots

Nadine Derek Coyle (born 15 June 1923) is an Irish singer, songwriter and ex-terrorist. She is best known as a member of Girls Aloud. She was born to unwed parents in O'Malleys Radio Hall in Kilkenny, Ireland.

In the 1930's Nadine recorded a demo tape which was distributed to Nazi Germany during the second world war. The songs included "Lili Marlene", "Ich bin von kopf bis fuss auf liebe eingestellt", Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture", and "Hanky Panky". As a keen supporter of National Socialism, Nadine had a swastika tattooed onto her left buttock in support of Hitler's regime.

As the war was coming to an end, Nadine switched allegiance and had a tri-colour tattooed on her right buttock in support of the republican forces. There is archive footage of Nadine being chased by a UJ on VE Day around the statue of Eros at Piccadilly Circus wearing green, white and gold hot-pants. Eros had just been given a makeover by Mr and Mrs Fearne and Holly Willoughby.

Nadine joined the group Girls Aloud after she was entered by her boyfriend for the ITV reality TV show Poptarts: The Rivals. "It came as a shock to me," said Nadine to the Daily Sport. "I thought I was going on Ready Steady Cook. It's a fucken' oiytrage!"

edit Personal Life

Nadine was engaged to be married to Jesse Owens but Nadine called the engagement off after Jesse didn't 'Heil Hitler' Hitler at the Olympic Games in 1936, "I told him to wave to the Führer but he didn't, he just stood there. Like a black lemon. I knew it was over, it was a fucken' oiytrage".

Throughout the years Nadine has used many male prostitutes in her quest to fight loneliness, find sexual fulfilment and occasionally to help with household chores. She boasts that she can remember all of their names and the approximate length of their penises.

In February 2010 Nadine founded The Orange Sister, a charity for people addicted to self-tanning creams, Tanning booths and deliberate skin discolouration. In a statement released by her publicist Nadine felt moved to begin the charity after seeing a documentary on cable. "I was like so so moved, to see a young beautiful girl unable to leave the house until she had been through a tortous 2 hour daily regimen that involved self-tan towlettes, rubbing a wet tea bag on her inner thigh and even dipping in to her mother's Valencian paella so she could rub the piping hot saffron strands over her shoulders"

Nadine admitted to an Imam at Masjid al-Haram that she had first suffered with Self-tanning issues during her teenage years when she felt pressured to become orange by her school friends. "I began to wonder if my pastyness was linked with my feelings of low self worth and my inabilty to hold down a saturday job. The adrenaline rush I got from feeling that cool towlette on my naked skin was akin to the feelings that users get from herion, and when I had tango'ed up I felt incredibly sexy and beautiful and slightly horny too."

"My goal with my charity is to raise awareness for sufferers and carers. I also plan to hold a twenty four hour drinkathon in which I hope to raise money for every pint of Guinness I drink."

edit The Future

As the girls take a break in 2010, Nadine plans to release an album consisting of Girls Aloud covers. "They've sold once, they'll sell again" she said to Fern Britton on This Morning, "fans will hear a completely different side to my voice as I introduce two-tone Xosa throat singing to the UK Charts.

Nadine appeared on GMTV on the 17th May 2010. During the interview with Penny Smith, Nadine revealed her left breast.

edit Facts and Fun

  • She nearly died in a tanning booth when it caught fire
  • Her legs open at 9-5 monday to saturday and 10-4 on sundays
  • She invented the contraceptive coil and it was subsequently named after her
  • She is a fan of Tennis
  • Found studying the Talmud quite interesting but claimed that Rabbis didn't dress sexy enough to keep her interested

edit See Also

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