Naboo

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Naboo
Naboo
Capital Cities Theed, Otoh Gunga
Terrain Surprisingly more watery than the movie would lead you to believe.
Region of the Universe Its somewhere. Lets say close to the middle.
Native Species Humans and poorly thought out staple characters.
Official Language English, Engrish
Major Imports Large-scale droid invasions.
Major Exports Queens, evil villains, racist stereotypes.
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Naboo.

Naboo is a planet from the movie, Star Wars Episode I: The Red Guy is a Red Herring. It is home of fish, Gungans, a hyper-active evolutionary cycle and a stable planet core.[1] The planet is violently segregated into two groups: One to entertain the four year olds, and one to entertain the thirty-something year old basement dwellers.

edit Landscape

91% of the planet Naboo is covered in water. This means that 9% of the planet is NOT covered in water. It is believed that the 9% of land on Naboo takes the form of the base for the Capital City, Theed, and a very thin land bridge that spans halfway around the planet, ending in a large circular stretch of land so that the massive droid armies have a convenient landing location and marching path to Theed.

Because of the massive amounts of water on Naboo, it can be concluded that the majority of the animals that inhabit it are fish. These fish are completely unique to Naboo and cannot be found in any other part of the universe. These fish are sentient beings and call themselves Star Wars Gimmicks, or Gungans for short. These Star Wars Gimmicks serve the sole purpose of keeping the four year olds entertained while the parents attempt to decipher the incredibly dull slog through the political side-plot.

edit Naboo History

edit Gungan Period

Stuff happened.

edit Human Period

Some slightly less interesting stuff happened

edit Theed

Theed is home to the people of Naboo. Like eighty percent of the other planets, Naboo has evolved humans as well. This is particularily miraculous, because it has also evolved the Gungans at the same time. This has led some to believe that there is something special about the planet, and many tests were done to see if there was anything different.

edit Theedians

Theedians have a hankerin' for crazy hair-styles and face paint. This is because they're all secretly gothic, but trying to hide it. They also take long feathers from rare birds, and pick fights with the Trade Federation, led by an obviously racist Asian voiced charaacter, named the Viceroy. But I thought the Viceroy's name was Nute Gunray? What? Again, Lucas just fucks shit up and makes everyone confused. This is because Theedians don't like sharing. Sharing is Caring, but Theedians don't want to deal with that, no sir. They just want to keep their big, tall feathers and not trade at all. But in the end, they all die.

Theedians have better grammar than their Gungan counter-parts, because they speak English, and the Gungans speak French. Apparently, English is proper pronunciation and implies intelligence, unless you're from the planet of Ebonics.

edit Gungans

Gungans have a fascination for balls. If you expected for me to elaborate on that with a joke, you will be dissapointed. Their entire city is made in balls, and their weaponry are all balls too. They live underwater, and breathe water, and they would most likely die if their skin dried out, but make their city in protective bubbles so that they can be dry. This is because they are masochists.

Gungans talk in funny voices and make funny faces to lure little children to them, which they sell to the Queen of Theed for a rather high price, as she takes an interest in pre-pubescent boys.

edit Gungans and their Submarines

The Gungan's submarines are shaped like drums, and taste like smaller fish. This is to attempt to add excitement to a scene lacking such.

edit Geography

The center of Naboo is hollow, but does not implode upon itself. This has led some to believe that there is something special about the planet, and many tests were done to see if there was anything different.

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For those interested in the full story, the self-proclaimed experts at Wookieepedia think they have an article about Naboo.

edit Notes

  1. Planet core is not stable.
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