Naboo

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Naboo
Naboo
Capital Cities Theed, Otoh Gunga
Terrain Surprisingly more watery than the movie would lead you to believe.
Region of the Universe Its somewhere. Lets say close to the middle.
Native Species Humans and poorly thought out staple characters.
Official Language English, Engrish
Major Imports Large-scale droid invasions.
Major Exports Queens, evil villains, racist stereotypes.
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Naboo.

Naboo is a planet from the movie, Star Wars Episode I: The Red Guy is a Red Herring. It is home of fish, Gungans, a hyper-active evolutionary cycle and a stable planet core.[1] The planet is violently segregated into two equal groups: One to entertain the four year olds, and one to entertain the thirty-something year old basement dwellers.

edit Landscape

91% of the planet Naboo is covered in water. This means that 9% of the planet is NOT covered in water. It is believed that the 9% of land on Naboo takes the form of the base for the Capital City, Theed, and a very thin land bridge that spans halfway around the planet, ending in a large circular stretch of land so that the massive droid armies have a convenient landing location and marching path to Theed.

Because of the massive amounts of water on Naboo, it can be concluded that the majority of the animals that inhabit it are fish. These fish are completely unique to Naboo and cannot be found in any other part of the universe. These fish are sentient beings and call themselves Star Wars Gimmaican's, or Gungans for short. These Star Wars Gimmaicans serve the sole purpose of keeping the four year olds entertained while the parents attempt to decipher the incredibly dull slog through the political side-plot.

edit Naboo History

edit Gungan Period

Just like dolphins, as fish, Gungas was a smilin to live in a sunken city with no sun.

edit Human Period

After outlawing age discrimination, Theedians elect their first J-Pop president.

edit Theed

Theed is home to the people of Naboo. Like eighty percent of the other planets, Naboo has evolved humans as well. This is particularily miraculous, because it has also evolved the Gungans at the same time. This has led some to believe that there is something special about the planet, and many tests were done to see if there was anything different.

edit Theedians

Theedians have a hankerin' for crazy hair-styles and face paint; this is because they're apparently the art museum of the galaxy; they also take long feathers from Amazonian birds, and pick fights with the Trade Federation over the appraisals on their Italian marbles. The federation is led by an obviously racist Asian voiced character, named the Colonial Viceroy, who had the gall to call the queens pilfered collection kitsh.

Theedians have better grammar than their ebonics speaking counter-parts, the Gungans, in part because their living rooms are furnished with centuries of their neighbors stolen antiquities, blood stained through slavery, genocide and grave robbing.

edit Gungans

Gungans have a fascination for balls. If you expected for me to elaborate on that with a joke, you will be dissapointed. Their entire city is made in balls, and their weaponry are all balls, so they can dunk droids to death. They live underwater, and breathe water, and they would most likely die if their skin dried out, but make their city in protective bubbles so that they can be dry. This is because they are masochists, like Flipper.

Gungans talk in funny voices and make funny faces to lure little children to them, which they sell to the Queen of Theed for a rather high price, as she takes an interest in pre-pubescent boys.

edit Gungans and their Submarines

The Gungan's submarines are shaped like drums, and taste like smaller fish. This is to attempt to add excitement to a scene lacking such.

edit Geography

The center of Naboo is hollow, but does not implode upon itself. This has led some to believe that there is something special about the planet, and many tests were done to see if there was anything different.

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For those interested in the full story, the self-proclaimed experts at Wookieepedia think they have an article about Naboo.

edit Notes

  1. Planet core is not stable.
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