NVIDIA

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“Of course we've made octocore, but you ain't getting bear it 'ill we sell it for $1500 in 2015!”
~ NVIDIA on NVIDIA


“Driver???My cars outside! what are you talking about?”
~ Windows Vista on nvidia 8800 drivers

NVidia is an American technology company most famous for its space heaters, which also double as graphics cards for personal computers.

edit History

The company formed when several members of the boy band 'N Sync broke off from the main band to start their own company to promote V.D. (ie. venereal diseases). About that time, the person writing down the company's name for registration had his cigareete drop into his naked lap - leading him to yell out in pain. Subsequently, the original company name of "'N Vee Dee Argh!". They have recently branched off to make cheese, as well as rectal jewelry and anal lubrication products. There have been some complications to whether they make cheese or original yogurt.

NVIDIA is the worst tech company on the planet to work for. Just ask any current or former employee who served under the tyrannical rule of Gopal. It's no wonder people know NVIDIA as nSHITia or nGREEDia.

edit CheeseForce

Nvidia's main line of cheese. Their flagship cheese is known as the CheeseForceBLU XGTX (better knows as the CFBX), it completely blows the crap out of any other card out there. The CFBX has a cheese density of 80 Terratons of cheese per square centimeter. Totally devastating ATi's Cheeseon xxxTxxx which has only 400000 tons of cheese per square per square centimeter. Their budget line of CFBX is known as the CheeseForce BLU XGT (CFBGT). Many state that the CFBGT is a better deal than the CFBX because while it has 78 Terratons of cheese per square centimeter it has a much better price / performance ratio, going for 3 eggs, and a cow instead of the price of a CFBX which costs 7 coats and 8 cows.

edit The formula for making the CheeseForce cards

ATIp * 2+ X + D + C= Cheeseforce you see the ATIp = performance of the ati cheeseon cards which is multiplied by 2. Then the cheesesets, supporters, and design are added. However in recent times the formula has changed so that the first value, ATI, is multiplied by 0.0005. This is due to the release of the HD 4870 X2, which can process 6 times as much porn as the next nvidia card, the GTX280.

edit N force

The N force is a line of cheese racks provided by Nvidia. It include the N force C,E,F,G but no one ever cares about Nforce because they cost 3 livers and an onion. They are made with a combination of chicken meat and balogna they go especially well with the CheeseForce.

edit Famous users of the "N force"

edit Forceware

A word that NVidia has been trying to substitute for cheese racks. Cheese Racks are too weak, forceware will force the cheese to do magic stuff. Prior to the advent of Forceware, NVidia had been trying to substitute Detonators for cheese racks, but their attempts did not achieve the desired effect. Actually, Detonator was just too powerful.

Fairy
Nvidia's Dawn demo made the Geforce 5 series extremely popular, particularly among old male farts.

edit New Products

There are reports from very credible anonymous internet forum posters that nVidia will release a new line of graphics cards in the very near future. Graphic cards are what are called the brains of violent video games (a.k.a. murder simulators®). It is apparent that nVidia intends to release information about their product by having corporate VP's seek out random asian strangers and divulge details of their plans.

Another credible source reports that his brother went to a Target to buy a box of rocks, and was shocked once home to find a Geforce 9800GTOMG card inside. He was successful at getting this card to run in his amiga, only to find that driver support for the card was only slightly better than Vista.

A CheeseForce 480-ZOMGBBQ is also in development for corporate customers and rich people, it will be bundled with Duke Nukem Forever.

edit nVidiot

A person who here forth is considered less-smart than a Fan ATI c, but in reality is as smart as linuxkraft.

  • Identification

Can be can be identified by the green glow in his eyes and unpopularity within any respectable forum, And is also one of the only people who you WILL loss all respect for within 2 seconds of them opening there mouth . . .

  • Found

In any game forums normal discussing frame-ropes and flops normally regarding there own anatomy . . .


edit Quantum physics processor

FireFoxNvidia
Notice that the Quantum physics processor makes websurfing more enjoyable!

The CheeseForce 8800Series has been imbued with the Quantum physics processor. This is intended to improve gameplay. However, as seen in the picture, It also improves websurfing. Crappish graphics, laggyness and low resolution is now a thing of the past.

edit list of famous cards

  • nvidia 666 - 580 without the porn, because its HELL.
  • nvidia 580 - 480 without the grills
  • nvidia 470 and 480 - will mark a milestone in the history of porn and grills.
  • nvidia 460 - best shit ever from Fermi
  • nvidia 295 - how did this beat ATI?
  • nvidia GTX 280 - Overpowered
  • nvidia 8800 GT(better than most of their other cards for some reason)
  • nvidia 9800 gt(Its supposedly 1000 better at some thing than the 8800)
  • nvidia 8800 GTA(ONLY RUNS ON VISTA BASIC AND PLAYS ONLY GTA GAMES AND INTERNET EXPLORER OFTEN CRASHES FOR SOME REASON)
  • nvidia FX5800 ULTRA (included the card and a vacuum cleaner/leaf blower)
  • nvidia 1(runs pong and breakout on a old school PET computer)
  • nvidia 1-2(for apple 2)
  • nvidia GT1(for ibm)
  • nvidia 10,000(has 0 of anything and produces the high quality graphics of 2048mb card Using magic produced by jebus and kyle's soul

edit Prices

  • CheeseForce 480 - $50000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
  • CheeseForce 470 - $49999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
  • CheeseForce 465 - $49999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999998
  • CheeseForce 460 - $200
  • CheeseForce 450 - $199
  • CheeseForce 295 - Sold Out FOREVER.
  • CheeseForce 285 - $400000000000000000000000000000000000
  • CheeseForce 280 - Gone FOREVER.
  • CheeseForce 260 - $100000000000000000000000
  • CheeseForce 250 - $150
  • CheeseForce 9800 GT - $100
  • Everything Else - See ATI

edit See also

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