NGFC 86 - Prosper vs. MacNaughtan

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Noted as one of the bloodiest NGFC Championships to date, NGFC 86 - Prosper vs. MacNaughtan, held at the Gap Center in North Dakota, will long be remembered as the day that racism ended. Consisting of 5.8 rounds of pure brutality, this showdown of the titans filled the air with the foul stench of rivalry that will undoubtedly be made into several movies starring Tom Cruise.


"Mad Dog" Macnaughtan


In the late 90's,the ancient race of space dinosaurs had taken refuge in an abandoned convenience store in Edinburgh, Scotland. The space dinosaurs race consisted of only females (or what we would call females). Their breeding process requires the seed of any male donor, no matter the species.

The Prize

The Right to Mate

What made this fight so important was undoubtedly what was at stake. Not only was each contestant fighting for their right to party, but they were fighting for their right to make sexy time. While the winner of the fight was to receive a box of Magnum XL's and a vial of date-rape, the loser was going to have a pissed off cat go all pain olympics on his member, nobody was going to be taking any dives in the match.

The Event

Round 1

Right off the bat, Sparrow Hawk came out with a strong offense, as was expected. He backed MacNaughtan into a corner within 10 seconds and was looking for a TKO by orgasm.

Round 2

The game was BR start on the pit. MacNaughtan quickly jumped from the starting platform to the green room to grab invis. He doubled back and was able to out BR Eagle in the rocket tunnel to gain control of the power weapon. MacNaughtan rushed to enemy flag spawn and was able to silence Gliding Swallow with a swift rocket to the nutsack.

Round 3

After the first two fights it was time for the competitors to show off there charismatic side. This round was a challenge to see who could get laid the most times in one day. Gliding Swallow started off by drinking enough vodka to get himself hammered, which turned out to be only a teaspoon. While Defecating Moose was chugging the teaspoon of vodka, he accidentally drank a teaspoon and a half and passed-out, although he did get laid moments before he fell to the ground. However, he was not laid by any women, but by his own left hand. Nevertheless, the rules clearly stated that " long as the competitor in question blows his load, the score is counted." Meanwhile, Mad Dog MacNaughtan took a plane to Europe to bang every disease-free women in sight, which happened to be a grand total of 926,938.5. Mad Dog was later questioned about the .5 at the end, and he replied "I'll leave that to your imagination". University professors later hypothesized that the .5 could have been from several things, including getting laid by a women with no legs, or by a hermaphrodite. To this day, the question has never been answered, and people continue to speculate, and will continue to unless someone steps forward and reveals the truth. In the meantime, the final score was tallied and it came out to be 926,938.5 - 1 in favour of Mad-Dog, and so Mad-Dog was clearly the victor of this round.

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