Nintendo 64

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pure communism

“It is our last....best chance for Victory.”

~ Joseph Stalin on Nintendo 64

“Get N or Get out...... out....... OOOOOOUUUUUUTTTTT!!!”

~ Fred Flintstone on original quote of Nintendo 64 till it was change just to out

“OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST EVER!!!!”

~ some guy who thinks this is the last console on Nintendo 64

“Меня не знают, как говорят”

~ Yoshi on Быть Коммунистом.

“After the release of the Sega Saturn we didn't even have to try anymore”

~ Nintendo on Nintendo 64

The Nintendo 64 (not to be confused with the Nintendo 65 or Nintendo 66) was a mass brainwashing device invented by the failing Soviet Union sometime before the end of the Cold War as a means to brainwash the young American populace into a new communist generation to replace the Soviet Union, so far it seems to have worked after the 1996 release. It was loosely based on the Commodore 64 using Amiga graphics and sounds but instead used the Communist operating system Linux instead of the Japanese operating system Rinux that most modern game consoles use.

Nintendo 64, Comrade, OH MY GOD!!!

The 64 was initially designed as a torture device to keep Hilter company as he lay far below the earth in some dungeon in Soviet Russia, Hitler eventually went mad from the machine and the emo bastard finally killed himself, Stalin saw the potential of the machine and set his comrades to work altering the machine to disguise it as a entertainment machine that could brainwash mass populations under communist propaganda, the device was completed just before Stalin's death, Stalin loaded somewhere around six million of the devices onto a Soviet missile, and launched them towards Japan where they intended the crazy Japanese would sell the machines to their American overlords.....err...I mean new friends.

If you played any game involving this character for more than five minutes, then you are a Communist, congratz!

The Japanese initially used the devices in their gameshows (dont ask me how), but eventually a young business man named Shigeru Miyamoto, who had a strange habit for collecting useless things, gathered up every single N64 and sold them to the foolish Americans, who would buy anything, Shigeru made a fortune, knowing nothing of the communist brainwashing within the devices, they instantly sold out in America and brainwashed nearly all of the American youth.

The machine was quite popular for a time, and its brainwashing eventually created today's American liberals, who are communistic bastards on the inside, and fellow comrades....err...friends have estimated that by next year the United States will officially become the Union of America Socialist Republics, USAR.

[edit] Games

There were a total of 6,464 games released for the Nintendo 64, 64% of which were ports of existing games. Only 64 of these games did not have a name ending in "64".

Some of the more well-known games on the Nintendo 64 include:

• Super Mario 64, which was a port to Super Mario Bros. except that the camera could be rotated 180 degrees at will, and Mario was now a freedom fighter for the working class. Children were brainwashed into thinking it is good because it is in 3D!
• Pong 64, which was a reenactment of the Cold War.
• Superman 64, the original torture device that drove Hitler insane and forced him to kill himself, the Americans managed to survive its painful effects.
• Goldeneye 007, a training aid to train children for the upcoming war against the capitalist pigs.
• The Legend Of Zelda: The Cell Phone of Nauseous Gas 64, tells the history of Russia, disguised as a fantasy story. Ganon is a Ottoman dammit!
• RobotnikLand Where Dr Ivan Robotnik runs away from Sonic the Hedgehog and The King
• Mario Farty 764 Mario and his frends have a SWEET RAVE PARTY!

There are thousands more, but nobody cares

Despite its wide selection of shoddy ports, it became unpopular among fans compared to the PSX which offered uglier graphics and an even worse frame-rate. They also complained about its frequent tendency to get up and run around the room, which generally resulted in its power cord being pulled out in the middle of a game.

The Nintendo 64 initially launched in two styles: black and gray. Later, Nintendo added an invisible model. This was the best-selling model, probably because people bought, it thinking it'd be cool and then lost it on the way home.At first Stalin wanted it to be red and have a yellow star in the center, but his comrades felt that would give it away, so they chose two colors that the capitalist and the neutral world was used to.

[edit] Notable Games

• Linux 64
• Windows 98
• Halo 64
• 64 64
• Hate Crime 64
• Super Mario 64
• Super Mario 63 (included in a collection of NES games made to look like Nintendo 64 games)
• Shitzu 64
• Superman 64-Also known as death
• Superman 64 2:The Rings strikes back
• Grue Attack 64
• Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: 64
• Super Smash Bros 64
• SimShitty 64
• Square Root of 64
• Animal Crossing
• Big Rigs 64: No Road Racing(also known as Big Rigs 2: Off the road racing)
• BIG WHEEL racing 7 sill rolling around with the chubby chassers 64
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 64
• Now we can get games from blockbuster 64
• The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Sweaty Ball Sack
• Conker's Pocket Tales
• Conker 64
• Conker and the 12 cute worlds of magical tales
• Conker's Bad Fur Day
• Conker Live and Reloded
• Conker gets a hangover! (No fucking surprise!)
• Conker go'es "bbbllllaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrhhkkkkkkk" and vomits
• Conker Who gives a shit?
• Conker and the drunk singing poo
• Conker WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Final Fantasy LXIV

• Final Fantasy LX13
• Goldeneggs 007
• “RRRIIIIIIIIIIDDDGGGEEE RRRAAACCCEEEEEEEEEEEEERRR!!!”
• Super Mario Bros Galaxy 64 Dulux(A.K.A U R MR GAY 64)
• Who gives a shit about the N64? 64
• Super Fart Bros. 64
• Super Fart Bros. 64 !Drunk Edition!
• 69ing 64
• Guitar Hero 64
• Madden '64
• Shenmue 64 (canceled)
• Santa Claus Sim-Cold War Edition 64
• Elmo's Got A Gun
• Elmo's Got A Gun 64th Editon
• Micheal Jackson: Touch It 64
• Goldennigger 64

And Many, Many more... But most suck so STFU.

[edit] Gallery