Mystery Science Theater 3000
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edit (Mystery Science Theater 3000's Review of) Mystery Science Theater 3000
- This article is about the original television series. For the 2017 remake, see Mystery Science Theater 3000 (reboot).
“Duuuude! This show is bodacious!”
“This show isn't funny!”
“This show is for the real niggas.”
“This show is like a pizza on a pan. In other words, this quote makes no sense.”
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is an American movie-mocking science-fiction cult comedy television series
that originally ran from 1988 to 1999, for ten seasons.
The show is created by and based on the life of Joel Hodgson, a stand-up comedian that was also a part-time janitor. Joel was captured against his will by two mad scientists, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank (collectively known as "The Brains"), and shot into space onto the Satellite of Love, where they would force him to watch cheesy B-movies. To keep himself entertained and sane,
he enlisted the help of his two robot buddies, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, that he had previously built for his 8th grade science fair. Together, they would watch these bad movies (mostly including, but not limited to, bad sci-fi movies) and provide a mocking commentary running over it. In addition to raising public awareness of crappy movies, the Brains' experiment was also used to identify the most intelligent people in the world by seeing who understood the most obscure details about things that nobody cared about.
Often, people who didn't know what they were watching would often go insane because they had no idea where the commentary voices came from. After the 89th case of this, the hosts put silhouettes of themselves on the bottom of the screen. In season five, Hodgson escaped the spacecraft in a box of Hamdingers and landed in the Australian Outback. His parting words to his robots were a quote from The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao. Series head writer Mike Nelson then replaced him as the destroyer of worlds, and continued in the role for the rest of the show's run.
The results of this experiment were monitored by the Brains who sold the data to the programmers of cable TV stations such as TNT and TBS, which led to the creation of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. During its original run, MST3K attained critical acclaim, winning two Torgo Awards and being nominated for a Cherokee Jack Award.
Joel Robinson: An insane, strong, comedic, and bright man that built the robots to do messed up stuff.
Mike Nelson: The mad man destroyer of worlds obviously enjoys blowing up planets with baking soda
and sticks the middle finger at the planet and he almost killed Bobo, Brain Guy, and Pearl Forrester,
but is yet comedic. Hodgson and Nelson are considered by fans to be just as entertaining as the other without dispute, but also that neither are quite as good as the delightful Jonah Ray.
Frank: Is Dr. Clay Forrester's friend who is a idiot and him and Forrester like throwing parties down in Deep 13.
Dr. Clay Forrester: Is sort of a wise-ass douch,
but he did the right thing by shooting Joel into space because Joel bullied them
and he saved Earth by shooting Mike into space right before he rised Satan from the ground.
Pearl Forrester: Is a psycho and is Clay Forrester mother and girl-friend for a very wrong reason. Pearl Forrester killed her son/boyfriend by stabbing him eight times in the chest and when she retired she cloned Michael Myers to bring his madness once agian.
Crow: Is a 40% uncontrollable crazy dumbass
(but is comedic and fun) robot and almost opened an airlock in the movie that almost killed Tom Servo and Mike Nelson.
Tom Servo The wise, funny, but a tad stupid robot that is in control of himself and is not defective like Crow.
Gypsy: Is a mentaly challenged bot because Joel never loved her and got lazy on her.
Bobo: A highly intelligent, giant gorilla capable of telekinesis.
Brain Guy: Isn't smart at all, they just named him that because he's a moving brain.
Cambot: You might think Cambot is the most pointless one becuase he just stands there and records, but if you think about it, who would be showing us the footage?
Dr. Laurence Erhardtedit: Is the smartest and gets bullied the most, but got eaten by Kumonga.
I'll explain in song!:
In a far galaxy in the distant past. Next Thursday, A.D.
There was a guy named Joel, Too different than you or me.
He worked in a satellite loading bay, Just destroying switches to not pay his way; He did his job well with a vicious face, But his bosses were scared of him, so they shot him in the face and into space.
He'll be watching cheesy movies, The worst ever made. Joel says when you got brains, You make brain juice.
Now keep in mind he can't control When the movies begin or end, Because he doesn't care so, he used the parts of the VCR To make his robot minions.
Robot roll-call: Cambot, Tom Servo,
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts, Why the fuck you asking me these qustions? It's just a show, you should just shut up you cock eater for Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Now theres a second version of this song:
In the far-too-distant future. Way down in Deep 13, Dr. Forrester and Not so bright Frank were hatching an good Scheme. They hired a dick by the name of Mike,
Just a regular Joel they were scared of. Mike destroyed the experiment and almost the world, but they conked him on the noggin and they shot him into space. (Bitch niggas!)
He'll be watching cheesy movies, The worst he can find (da-da-da). He doesn't have to sit and watch them all, but he has nothing else to do (bark-bark-bark).
Now keep in mind Mike can't control where the movies begin or end (boom-boom-boom) he'll try to keep his sanity with no help of his robot friends.
Robot Roll Call: Ah, you already know their names.
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts (fuck-crap-crap),
Just screw yourself it's just a show, you dicks should really just relax for Mystery Science Theater 3000!