From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Lary as they may be, they're the best thing to hit the working classes since gin.”
Have you ever noticed things doing things that by the laws of physics shouldn't be doing those things? Flying plates, liquid that flows in reverse, etc.
Well, this is the result of Mysterons.
Mysterons are a splinter group of elementary particles that will disobey physics whenever they can, unless it suits them. An abstract real-world example would be Mexican Wrestlers, who are in fact made entirely of Mysterons. No matter what they eat.
Mysterons are essentially rebels without causes, and have an abject fear and loathing of law in general. This stems from their initial refusal to follow various physical energy laws when they were rudely disturbed by a Michael "The Buzz" Faraday from a particularly restful Brownian motion thing they had going. Over the years they restructured as a terrorist organisation reported to propagate an assortment of mayhem, most reputably having meshed the boundaries between a neighbouring universe to peek into their shower rooms. Popular belief has it that the current configuration of the stars are in fact remnants of a rather stiff letter we received from said universe shortly thereafter.
edit Mysterons Within Society
Being elementary, Mysterons have little social structure, so they disobey the most well known and abided by laws. Those of physics. They have no reason for breaking the law in such a form, other than possible psychological issues relating to their parents and their bed-times.
Mysterons can go incognito amongst other particles, and as such anything could be controlled by a Mysteron. This includes apples.
Gwenno Dalton, 39, explains her encounter with a rebellious Mysteron:
"I was out back putting the washing on the line when I noticed the first odd thing. The day before it was 1987, and that day it was 1986! I noticed this because of the way the nettles moved. 1986 was a very good year for nettles." she added,
"I knew for certain things weren't right when the clothes line snapped but fell upwards instead. I tried to hold onto the line, but it was falling too quickly, and I would've been carried away into the sky. My clothes were lost forever, but like good clothes they still obeyed gravity.
"I hurried inside, afraid that the Mysterons would call out rude words. But they did much worse than that..." she struggled as she started to cry, "It was horrible! I grabbed the doorhandle, or at least, tried to. It was entirely frictionless. There was no way I could possibly touch it. The door slid off its hinges and travelled rather unhindered down the hall. I was furious and ready to cry at the same time.
"I hid in my shoe cupboard, but the cupboard was now at least 50 times as large as it was on the outside! I ran out of the cupboard and wailed as my shoes turned inside out. After literally forever, they left and went to pester someone else. But not before graffitying my front door with pictures of penises doing ungodly things."