From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Misogyny is known as the "Jilted Male Ideology Disorder." It's commonly suffered by virginal nerds who couldn't even get a date with a fat furry. The individual feels that women are either evil or are naturally inclined to whoop the crap out of the misogynist. Therefore, they feel it's necessary to get back at women for their bitterness at life in general.
Misogynists come in all varieties, most of them are either nerds or are emo. The categories below would help explain who they are and what makes them tick.
Nerdy Misogynists: One of the most common ones. As stated above, these type of misogynists are the ones who will remain a permanent virgin. Due to their own sexual frustration, they blame women for their penises being flaccid and unused. The biggest irony is that they live in their mother's basements, while they masturbate to pictures of Pokemon. They hold onto this ideology in hopes of the false promise of getting laid, which will NEVER happen for them. This type always dies alone.
Emo Misogynists: Another common type. This type has a sob story and will tell it to unwilling participants. Whether it be about them paying child support for knocking up a slut without protection or on how their mothers call them a fat retard all the time. They will tell it over and over again with tears in their eyes while quoting My Chemical Romance songs. This type is the most batshit insane. Like most people with victim complexes, the misogynist would scream at the top of their lungs at someone who truthfully suggests that they should be more responsible and own up to their own mistakes or at anyone who points out the fallacies in their logic. This type would off himself when the time is right.
Lazy Misogynists: This type is the most likely to idealize a world that reverted to it's past, though he adds little to society. He wants a slave to cook and clean for him while he sits on the couch watching football. Ask him to do some home improvement or to get a job, he'll scream out DISCRIMINATION!! He also fails to realize that it takes two people to pay rent in the modern times. Without equality, the lard ass would have to work 24/7 by himself. Don't forget to mention to him about how the bourgeois used house slaves and butlers to wipe their asses. If he's upper class lazy, don't forget to mention of the 50% chance that he would have a male butler bathing him, since it was one of the few gender neutral jobs at the time.
African American Misogynists: This type of Misogynist has been rumored to have listened to too much rap music. However, rap music is an accurate representation of African American culture not a causation for their behavior. With the mating rituals of a stray dog, the black male will pounce on the nearest woman in sight. Combine that with the fact that all of their mothers are prostituting themselves for crack. The end result is a black misogynist who blames women for their own debauchery. Black misogynists will just end up in prison for a life sentence before they reach the legal drinking age.
Female Misogynists: Believe it or not, there are women in this sausage-fest ideology. One of the causes is that they are either trying to win favor with the other sexually frustrated misogynists or they love causing drama, by any means necessary.
edit What a Misogynist is and is Not
As with Mexicans and racism, feminazis have a poor definition of misogyny. Misogyny is not joking about banging chicks or joking about women from time to time. Joking about a certain time of the month is not misogyny either. Most of the male gender does that anyway. It's when the individual takes the jokes at face value and turns it into a personal vendetta, often fueled by stories of a fucked up childhood. They're the type of men that other men would tell them to "calm down, bro."
edit Freud's view on Misogynists
According to Freud, everything is caused by your mother or your father and is sexual in nature. Freud came up with the term `Madonna/Whore Complex' when stoned to describe misogynists. It should come as no surprise that Freudian psychology blames a cold and heartless mother for the way the misogynist acts. In other words, they had a mother who was too busy getting her hair done then to care if her child is starving. Freud also states that the misogynist will go on to find someone who is as bitchy as his mother was. Due to the incestuous feelings of the woman being too similar to his mother or the male's annoyance with his new bride, he has an orgy with a gaggle of sluts, therefore summing up his beliefs that women are either bitches or whores.