Myers-Briggs

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This is a Myers-Briggs home test kit for people who are having trouble taking the test online, perhaps because their old dial-up modem just can't get it up any more.

“I can't remember what my Myers-Briggs Type is but I sure do like fried chicken
~ Colonel Sanders on his Myers-Briggs Type

“I knew Myers and Briggs personally. A couple of prats they were”
~ Oscar Wilde on Myers-Briggs

Jung beetle

The mighty Jung beetle, much rarer than Jigglypuff. The real mastermind behind the work of the Myers-Briggs twins.

edit The Myers-Briggs Story

Katharine Cookie Monster Briggs and Isabel I kept my maiden name in there somewhere because I'm posh Briggs Myers were Siamese twins who shared both a brain and aspirations of becoming psychologists. They didn't really have any friends, so they often used to neurologically fight amongst themselves, and this was the only psychological activity that was available for them to study. They wondered if they could define their differences into categories, but the only thing they could come up with was that one of them preferred pie while the other preferred fried chicken. This led them to accuse each other of being adopted, which was kind of pointless considering that they were attached at the cranium. In the end, the twins agreed that they needed to consult an expert to solve their psychological woes. They journeyed into the enchanted forest to consult the mighty Jung beetle.

edit The Jung Beetle

The Jung beetle was a mysterious and wise creature, and an expert on psychology. Unlike his dung beetle counterparts who manufactured balls of dung for a living, the Jung beetle preferred to spend his time in a more sanitary and nose-friendly environment, contemplating the oddities of the human brain. Long since the Myers-Briggs' consultation, it appears that the Jung beetle has been poached from his enchanted forest home and pinned on a piece of thin cardboard in a frame in a drawer in a museum. The whereabouts of this museum are currently unknown, but I hear it has a good café.

edit Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

Bouncywikilogo9
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

The Jung beetle lectured the Myers-Briggs twins on the system of the Jung Type, and how the human brain exists in a four-dimensional space of categories, within which people can be stereotyped and ridiculed. The twins promptly looted this information about the system, ran off, and named it the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

edit Calculating your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

This test to work out your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator involves taking four pills. For each of the four pills you must choose either blue pill on the left or red pill on the right. Gather the four letters of the alphabet associated with the four pills you take and glue them together to determine your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. In each of the four cases, you must choose the option which applies to you. There's absolutely no room for middle-dwellers, you're either left or right. Chances are that if you hang around in the middle, you'll fall down a bottomless crevasse and die of boredom.


Let's begin. For each of the 4 levels, choose either the blue or the red pill, based on the descriptions.
Pill blue
E is for Everyone Else

You have never used or even heard of the Interweb, and you are about to stop understanding this sent3nce r1ght ab0ut n0w, 0k4y, 7h3l23 w3 90!11
Pill red
I is for Interweb

You use, understand, and <3 the Interweb in all its bork'd glory, and you would be fragged without it.
Pill blue
S is for Smelly

You get out in the real world and do real world things like changing diapers and digging holes and playing drums, and you come home sweaty and smelly in the evening.
Pill red
N is for Intangible

You daydream frequently and concoct crazy stories, never getting any real work done. You probably invented Scientology.
Pill blue
T is for Top Hat

While some may think with their heart, you wear a top hat to protect your brain, because it has supreme authority over the rest of your body. You are deathly afraid of touchy-feely moments.
Pill red
F is for Furious

You go buttsecks insane at the drop of a grain of pocket lint, and you strongly love or hate everyone you meet. Your tears are curing thirst in Africa.
Pill blue
J is for Jitterbug

You like to know what you're going to be doing tomorrow, since otherwise decisions tend to go wrong when you make them at the last minute and you start to jitter. Like a bug. Not to be confused with the Jung beetle.
Pill red
P is just P

You smoke P, you eat pea, you pee, sometimes all at the same time. You have no idea what you're going to be doing tomorrow because your plans always change, for the purposes of avoiding debt collectors.
Okay, you didn't really need to take any pills at all. Now go across the road and get me some orange sherbet.


Once the effects of the pills has worn off, try and remember which ones you took, put the four letters together and you will get your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. For example, your type might be ISTP or INFJ. If you are schizophrenic, you have probably already taken the test several times, and your type will be something like EINSTP or ISPJWTFLOL.

edit Myers-Briggs Types and Uncyclopedia Users

This is a guide on how to recognize the different personality types on Uncyclopedia. The following descriptions should NOT be used to determine your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, because they are anecdotal, and not a proper examination. Get back up there and take those pills! Visit Myers-Briggs/Users to let other users know what type you are, or Template:User_Myers-Briggs to get a template for your user page.

edit INFP - The Beauties

They are often found contemplating life's mysteries in caves and occasionally popping up to do good deeds before they are subdued and stifled by ESXJ authorities. They generally have the goodwill and kindness to forgive these evil people.

edit INTJ - The doctors of evil

These users have convoluted evil plans of ruling the Uncyclopedia universe. They require you to worship them.

Those who resist their supreme authority normally end up like the Jung Beetle. Often various INTJs conquer the world and are killed by peace-loving INFPs, only to return at a later time, along with an evil apprentice. They have a huge capacity for love, and those "gone wrong" may be found on the streets hugging strangers or organizing beaurocratic church drives and thinking that the money may actually get to the hands of the poor.

edit INTP - The mad scientists

These users are the mad scientists. Their test tubes of crazy ideas spill across the Uncyclopedia pages, causing all manner of chain reactions and realignments of the cosmological fabric of the webspace-time continuum.

edit INFJ - The conspiracy theorists

These users think the black helicopters are coming and it is their duty to inform you all about it.

edit ISFP - The MySpace users

These users are looking for boyfriends/girlfriends and other people to argue with, and most likely spend all their time on the talk pages. Perhaps they got lost in Uncyclopedia on the way to MySpace.

edit ISFJ - The sobbing geeks

These users like using computers. Most of their contributions to Uncyclopedia will probably be deleted, and they will cry.

edit ISTP - The fountains of UnKnowledge

These users enhance articles by spouting a rainbow of UnFacts from under their top hat wherever they go, but may have trouble getting recognition for their efforts.

edit ISTJ - The cogs of the UnMachine

These users are suited to helping the day to day running of the Uncyclopedia machine. Their contributions may be significant, but they'll need a little help with the humour.

edit ENFP, ENFJ, ENTP, ENTJ, ESFP, ESFJ, ESTP, ESTJ - The users who shouldn't be using the Interweb

Nobody with an E dimension to their Myers-Briggs type should ever use the Interweb. If you fall into one of these categories, disconnect your Interweb and call an ambulance immediately. The Interweb is extremely dangerous in untrained hands, and you're lucky you haven't killed yourself. You probably have been raped by cartoon bears several times.

edit See also

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