UnBooks:My Summer Vacation in Saudi Arabia
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When my friend proposed to go to Saudi Arabia for a week during the summer I had to look up the place on a map. It was near Egypt and my cousin had gone there and saw the pyramids and said it was nice. It also doesn't seem to far away from India and everyone says that its one heck of an adventure to go there so I said let's do it. I was a little worried that it was close to Iran, but the countries are separated by a gulf and it seemed that the Iranian Navy wasn't about to sail their ships to Saudi Arabia just to detonate a western tourist so I packed my bags and got flying!
As it turns out only Saudi Arabian airlines flies directly there. It was a great way to integrate ourselves in the culture. We both had to put on headscarves and I chose a bright pink one while my friend chose a navy colour. We didn't get to have a cocktail on board but they had really nice prune juice. For the meal it was rice with walnuts and sliced lamb. I had never had it, so I can't compare that to anything but it was really okay. The movie they showed was "Daces with wolves" though I think it was a different version because I remember the two kissing in the tent but this version didn't have it. Maybe the DVD skipped a track. We landed on time.
The sights of Ryadh
This city has a bunch of nice skyscrapers. They reminded me of my trip to Dallas but with really dark people. The top of one of the skyscrapers had a nice restaurant. They had champagne and we drank it. Funny, no matter how much we drank we didn't get drunk. Their alcohol probably has a different effect on us or something. We were approached by a lot of nice guys who smiled a lot. I was even offered a couple rings by them. I guess that's how some of the nicer guys say hello to western ladies. The seemed to get really angry with us when we left, though maybe that's just how they say goodbye. Who knows? I have twenty-three really nice gold rings now.
Going to Mekka
I heard that Mekka is really nice. There is this big black cube that people walk around. We put on white clothes and headed there in a minibus. We don't speak Arabic but the driver took us there. When we were walking there, someone in a green costume with what looked similar to a police badge told us to get into their car. It was air conditioned and it was nice of him to take us to Mekka in it. He was yelling and screaming at us about Infidels or something. I guess infidel means honoured guest maybe. They are so hospitable there. We went to a place that had iron bars and food served on metal trays and we got to stay for two days. The beds were not comfortable but it was like camping. Mekka was really interesting, I had never seen anything like it in my life. Then a man from the American consulate told us we were free to leave. I told him that we were enjoying Mekka and that we didn't need to go so soon. He told us that we had spent enough time where we were and we should leave now if we were wise. He wasn't very friendly. But he did drop us off at our hotel. He wore terrible cologne.
The American Compound
There is an area in town where white people live and also a couple Pakistanis who run the corner shops. We went to say hello to a friend of a friend and they took us to something like a bar but not really a bar becasue the rules were strange and some other reason I don't remember. The bar looked like an American bar and they served american drinks. I had a gin and tonic and my friend had a rum and coke. Some people talked to us. My friend fell asleap and tumbled off her chair. The people in the American compound were so boring, our presense there was slowly murdering us from boredom but like big big bordom. In the Pakistani shop, the attendant suggested that we rent his brothers boat to go for a cruise. He was really nice and he even gave us foir free a Pakistani dessert which is sort of like really dry putting with a overly sweet milk thing ontop and some dried figs. He was such a nice guy I couldn't trow it out infront of his face so I sort of half swalloed it so I could regurgitate it afterwards. He was really friendly and smiley so we had his brothers number.
We headed to the beach and we were wearing our bikini's under our sarongs. When we got to the beach we took off our sarongs and in no time we made a lot of friends. A little later some guys with machine guns came to us and insisted that we go to the ladies beach. We would be more comfortable there. We couldn't bring our new friends but we went anyways. When we got to the ladies beach, it was actually pretty nice. We met nice ladies. Some of the ladies were even topless and had really nice bodies, very plump breasts and asses smoking way harder than ours. We exchanged gym techniques and they asked us all about our lives at home. They had strange ideas about our lives. I have no idea what a Swedish steamshovel is but I doubt that I have ever done it. Maybe my friend did. Probably she has.
Meeting a prince
They say Saudi Arabia has over 200 princes. I met one who was really nice. We met him in the bazaar. He took us to his summer palace to have a fiest. Someone told us that men and women eat separately so I couldn't eat with the prince. Instead we were with a lot of women who didn't speak english and stared at us the whole time. The food was different but I think I liked it. We did get rather bored. After lunch the prince suggested that he show us his private beach. We walked with him allong the beach and he told us some nice stories. He wasn't really good looking though his body wasn't bad either, my friend didn't like his body but he though he had a beautiful smile. He was a prince after all so we fooled around for an hour on the beach. Afterwards he said bye and ran off. His driver dropped us off at the hotel, after he parked in a garage and went down on us. It was really such a special night.
In the red sea
We hired a boat and sailed on the red sea. We picked a muscular captain who could take care of us if we got into trouble on the high seas. Once we were far away enough from the coast we went snorkeling and saw some nice colourful fish. We had to go back. We had a threesome with the captain first. My friend later got pregnant with the captain and took a pill to terminate it.
That week ended so fast I couldn't believe it was over so quickly. We sent off some post cards and I got a toy pidgin and some wooden sandals and dried dates for some friends back home. We had forgotten to take pictures and took some of the desert on the way to the airport. We had forgotten to ride a camel. Maybe next time. The flight back was nice. Once we were home we stopped at McDonald's to have a bacon McMuffin and I had to go to work the next day. I told my workmates about the trip and they seemed really amazed by my stories. Most of them seemed really shocked about the story, especially some details that I did not think were so funny or strange. My workmates are maybe too boring. I guess they were jealous. Maybe they will go to Saudi Arabia next summer