Video

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Video (1978 - 2006?) is a notorious killer and entertainer. She grew up very quickly on the streets of Tokyo. She has killed so many people, including the radio star. She even killed her own father, Betamax. It is rumored that she also killed her mother, 8-Track, but the evidence shows that Betamax acted alone.

Her favorite son is Battle of the Bulge on Youtube.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Video.

edit Television Debut

ZZZap the bumper video comic

ZZZap! The Bumper Video Comic heres (Cuthbert Lily, The Handymen, Daisy Dares You, Smart Arty) all in 1 video!

Video wanted to make it big in the entertainment world. She was willing to do anything and had the drive and recording power to win. All she needed was a hook ... or a hook-up. In 1980, she was hanging out in a seedy New York City bar when she ran into an unnamed high-level producer from MTV. The producer was overcome with pity as she told her tale of living in her father's shadow, as well as lust for a black chick.

As MTV was struggling to get off the ground, the producer left and contacted her a few days later. The producer said that she could have a spot on their up-and-coming network in exchange for her virginity and the severed head of a man known as The Radio Star, an outsider that was holding MTV back and preventing them from making it big. He had already taken the former, but both of them were too drunk at the time to actually remember. The Radio Star was born in 1952. Video agreed.

Holdphoto

People everywhere cried for the loss of the Radio Star

On August 1, 1981, MTV launched its message across America: Video Killed the Radio Star. The Radio Star's head was paraded across the air waves for a whole three minutes to the shock and awe of the country. The lover cried, and the poets dreamed. Not a word was spoken. The church bells all were broken.

A song, Video Killed the Radio Star, was written for the funeral. It's a sad power ballad about grief and loss, and was performed by The Buggles.

As part of the agreement, Video was given a place to hide in an as yet undiscovered secret chamber inside MTV's office.

edit Career

Video still has a deal with MTV to spread its propaganda with such insidious messages as "Doo wap - a doo doo waaa doo wop". She has done so faithfully since 1981. Recently, she has been making appearances on other networks like VH1 and BET. While frowned upon by MTV, Video's contract does not explicitly forbid her from appearing on other networks.


edit Aliases

While on the mission to kill Radio, various aliases were used to keep the FBI out. These aliases include VHS (Voraciously hurried system) and DVD (Did Veronica Die?). The FBI spent 3 years looking for Veronica but all they found was a VHS reference in a video store in Texas.

edit Assassination Attempts

edit Nintendo

In 1988, a brave soul calling himself Nintendo Entertainment System publicly announced that he would get revenge for the death of the Radio Star. Video, being the clever killer she was, invited him for drinks to discuss the matter in the MTV studios privately. And the police, of course, didn't care.

Video spiked NES's drinks, as well as her own by accident. Nobody remembers what happened that night, but nine months later, Sega Genesis was born. In her unadultered rage, she sent Sega to fight NES. To this day, the battle still continues.

edit CD

In 1995, Sony released the CD, a device that could steal all of Video's thoughts and provide a way to stoore and edit them in a controlled matter. Unfortunately, nobody knew how to use it, since the software to actually do anything didn't reach anybody until 1998, so its first attempts failed. Video spent four years battling CDs, until the software came out and starting making her tired. At this point, scarred and bruised, she ran away.

edit Internet

In 1999, it was reported that The Internet killed the Video Star. This was more of a threat from Microsoft than actual news, given that Video easily disputed the claim by her presence.

edit DVD

In 2001, Sony tried to take Video out again by releasing the DVD. Sony learned from their last attempt and released the proper software so that select companies that knew what they were doing could program them. A mole in MTV brought DVDs and the software, and set them to ambush Video the next morning.

The next morning, at 7 am on the dot, screams were heard from the recording studio. DVD had chipped Video's inner bar and ...

edit Today

However, nobody actually saw Video die. There have been several Video sighting in recent memory, around the world. The working theory is that she somehow survived the near-death experience with DVD. Others believe that it was actually a hired impersonator sent that morning. She is infrequently seen visiting or staying over in the basement of numerous poor nerds across the country, watching them masturbate and do worse things. Odds are those are also impersonators.

Video and NES don't talk anymore. He still provides her with child support, but is having too much fun hanging with his buddies to own up and be a real father.

Video and Internet are now good friends and beer buddies. They are frequently seen together in public and private . Rumors about their engagement proved to be false. Rumors about their engagement to be engaged are still under scrunity. Rumors about their engagement to be engaged to be engaged to be engaged are, in fact, true.

Seeing that DVD is much stronger and versatile, Video has tried repeatedly to make a truce with the DVD. However, being stuck in the 80s, she can't use the required software to make DVD listen.

The former can rip IFO, MP4 video and MP3 audio files.

Since Record has miraculously sprung from the dead and started to slowly murder CD with his friend, Audio Cassette, expect to see Video make the biggest comeback since Lazarous in about 20 years.

edit Confirmed kills

edit See also

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Video is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.
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