Mozambique

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"The MO"
Glorious Nation of Mozambique
General Oogudougudoo's Bitch
125px-Flag of Mozambique.svg 225px-Uganda-Amin-10-Shillings-cr
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "General Oogudougudoo knows all"
Anthem: Heaven and Mozambique - Black Sabbath
200px-Topography of africa
Capital General Oogudougudoo’s Glorious Mansion
Largest city Labour Camp
Official language(s) Nepotism and Corruption
Government Dictatorship... I mean Democracy
Great Leader General Oogudougudoo Great Leader General Oogudougudoo
National Hero(es) Great Leader General Oogudougudoo
Declaration
 of Independence
huh?
Currency Property of Glorious General Oogudougudoo and select government officials.
Religion Great Leader General Oogudougudoo
Population Worshiping Glorious General Oogudougudoo at their own free will.
Major exports Government Propaganda, AIDS, cashew nuts
Major imports Luxury cars, Cuban Cigars, Pools, Hookers, Gold Jewelry (for the Government)

The Glorious nation of Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke Mozambrike Mozambique is greatest country in Africa if not World. Glorious nation of Mozambique is ruled benevolently by great leader General Oogudougudoo, who always knows best for country. Glorious nation of Mozambique borders Ocean, big lake, Rhodesia, and Scum in Malawi. Glorious nation of Mozambique has world largest deposit of Stibnite, used to make left handed screwdrivers, thanks to great leadership by great leader General Oogudougudoo.

The Area of Mozambique are Bigger than filthy Malawi.

History of Mozambique

Not much is known about Glorious nation of Mozambique but what is known is not very pretty. In the year 1500, an ancient group of Portuguese sailors called La Portuguese saw the glorious land that is Mozambique. There, with the help of Filthy Malawi, they defeated the inglorious king who was actually from Malawi.

Over the next 450 years they ruled with ironing fist anally probing all who would not abide by their imperialist swine laws. The most famous one to resist their tight grip was of course Rosa Parks who died after being probed for five years straight. After 54 lifetimes of seeing his people suffer Great General Oogudougudoo formed a great organization called FRELIMO which stood for.....well, we don't know what it stood for but Our Glorious leader said it meant Oogudougudoo was god and all must obey him. With their new found spirit the people of Mozambique overthrew their evil white imperialist captors.

Demographics

A recent census pole has proven indeed that the population of Mozambique is over 2 people, astonishing everyone.

Economy of Mozambique

Are you filthy Malawi spy??

Culcher

The culcher of Mozambique is mainly based around hate of scum from filthy Malawi and worship of great leader General Oogudougudoo. Wherever a person goes they must be carrying a picture of great leader General Oogudougudoo and admiring it. Windscreens in all 3 non government cars have been replaced by giant pictures of General Oogudougudoo. Fundraising is currently underway to raise enough money to build a 100 metre high scale model of great leader General Oogudougudoo’s Glorious head, the goal will be reached by 8923AD.

There are many customs found only in Mozambique, such as placing foliage in the middle of road to warn of accidents or hazards ahead, the larger the foliage, the greater the hazard. If in entire tree is placed across the road you better try another route.

The Mozambican government owns two passenger trains, but there are no train tracks in Mozambique. Instead the trains are pulled long distances by the would be passengers and people who failed to pay their taxes, while carrying government officials (the would be passengers still have to pay their fares mind you).

“Can’t talk now; worshiping great leader General Oogudougudoo”
~ Oscar Wilde on Mozambique

Law and Politics

General Oogudougudoo has won every single election since 1977 by a landslide of 100%. The 2006 election was also a landslide win for General Oogudougudoo, with 157% of the vote. Mosabinke has very strict laws on almost everything. Things that are illegal in Mozambique:

Wdfwd

The number six is illegal in Mosambike and importing or drawing one is punishable by death. Note that the full six cannot be shown.

  • Magazines
  • Television
  • Communism
  • Religions other than Paganism and Voodoo
  • Condoms
  • Electricity
  • Free Thought
  • Wheels
  • Hats
  • Purple
  • Homosexuality
  • Computers
  • Coke (Pepsi is allowed)
  • Having more than 3 teeth
  • White people

Fun Facts

21 15 4---Burnt-Out-Car web

Typical car in Mozambique. Car modifying is quite popular in Mosambinke

  • Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke Mozambrike Mozambique has the easiest name of any country on earth to spell according to a gallop poll in 2002.
  • A kiss from great leader General Oogudougudoo can heal everything known to man kind.
“what? is that in south america or something?”
~ Everyone on Mozambique

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