Mourning Wood

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Dead bed feet

Mourning wood, once shunned, is becoming an increasing feature of modern society.

“I often feel a little stiff in the morning.”
~ Noel Coward on Mourning Wood

Mourning Wood is a common slang term used to describe getting an erection (wood) at the sight of a corpse. An orgasmic state achieved whilst in this state of arousal is referred to as a Widow's Peak. Many individuals may be aroused by viewing dead people or animals, or in some extreme cases from attending Milli Vanilli concerts, or watching Golf.

edit The Dead have Risen


Ted Bundy, pictured as part of the 1987 Necrophilia is Fun Drive, sponsored by Vaseline and AirFresh.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mourning Wood.

Both Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen are known to have had intercourse with many partners and often murdered them, though not specifically in that order. In an interview shortly before his own death, Dahmer is said to have stated a preference for the recently deceased as they were "a lot let hassle than people still twitching".

The following entry from Nilsen's diary allows some insight into the mindset of a sufferer:

Formaldahyde pumped through their veins, the white flesh glows, the ghost of a smile upon their frozen lips. They sleep now, but with so much love left to give. They want you, they call out to you, you never resist the silent longing in their eyes...

Female practitioners make use of natural rigor mortis in male cadavers

edit Consensuality Issue

In recent years, a number of high-profile cases have become media sensations due to the issue of consensuality on the part of the dead parties. In Oliver versus Bradley (1983) the case was found in favour of the defendant after his Lawyer argued that "even dead people deserved the right to an orgasm".

edit Examples of Mourning Wood within Popular Culture

edit Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I was like the gentle autumn rain,
Now I’m stuffed and mounted by Ed Gein.

edit Edgar Allan Poe

Come! Let the burial rite be read - the funeral song be sung,
An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young.
Peccavimus; but rave not thus and let a Sabbath song,
Humping the dead may be right but it feels so wrong.

edit See Also

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